ALCOHOLIC FATHER

[Dzone]

Re: ALCHOLIC FATHER

thanks guns I will try to call them over the next day or so and try to get him some help..

when I talked with him today about it I was looking thru his 101st year book and he pointed out a section in there about LRRP said that's what he did. he never really has talked much about it and my mom said when he came home she would wake up in the middle of the night and find him balled up sleeping in the closet. I don't feel his time over there is what makes him drink its a family thing...

I would like to get more info out of him to let him now I am proud of him for what he did for a war this country doesn't seem very proud of.. he's never talked about his time over there or what battles he was in.. I bet in my 42 years he hasn't said more then 10 things about his army career..

I am going to try and find him things to do beside sit at home and drink.. might go get him sat morning and go to breakfast at 7 am or so and stop by the house I am building to get him out and doing things..

thank you all for the support...

Youre a good man, apbt

[animal87]

Re: ALCHOLIC FATHER

Man I dont know what I could do to help, but if you need anything or just talk pm me.

It's hard when you have to be straight up with someone you care about like that. I've lost family and friends to alcohol and drugs, either from over doses. Or I've loaned them money and they wont answer my calls bc I guess they think I want it back, I just miss them and wish i could see them.

You have to let them know you care but that you wont put up with being run over either. Thats a hard balance to make. I dont really know what else to say brother but I will prat for you and your family.

[hicktown]

Re: ALCHOLIC FATHER

Ah man im sorry you had to deal with that growing up, I cant relate but Im sure you guys had to deal with alot of chaos in that house. Im all about forgiveness but his actions are just terrible, i dont think i wouldve bailed him out, it sounds like hes just going back to drinking and being abusive to those around him.

[apbt549]

Re: ALCHOLIC FATHER

Ah man im sorry you had to deal with that growing up, I cant relate but Im sure you guys had to deal with alot of chaos in that house. Im all about forgiveness but his actions are just terrible, i dont think i wouldve bailed him out, it sounds like hes just going back to drinking and being abusive to those around him.

i understand your response and I felt and do feel the same way.. he has been like this his whole life. but I was not going to leave him in that jail. and after I left him and his wife I told my dad you want me in your life fine I will be there but if I come over here in 2 days or 2 months and I find beer or wine here I am done bc I know what its going to lead to and I will not put up with that in my life I don't need the drama not when it can be solved so simple by not drinking...

I am going to do some work at the house the wife and I are building it is a shell right now the ac man is installing the duct work so I am going over today and pick my dad up and take him by the house and spend a couple hours with him.. I talked with him last night at 8 and he seemed fine.. over all these years I can tell when he has been drinking and last night he wasn't..

my hope is to get him out of the house and doing things.. maybe give something to look forward to spending time with his son..thinking maybe next week take him to the muscle car museum instead of sitting at his house day and night with nothing to do but drink and smoke..

do I think its going to work? no I don't I am sure some where down the road he will drink.. but he's my dad I have to try.. the way he looks I don't see him being here in 5 years...

[guage]

Re: ALCHOLIC FATHER

Your a good guy for trying to help but if he doesn't see the problem and isn't willing to give 100% to change then the battle is lost. Hes got to want it. Im your age my father is heavy into the oxys and booze. Smokes a pack of non filtered camels a day and hes all about being a victim. I didnt grow up with him so the bond isn't strong I feel if thats what he wants and understands the consequences then its his to have.
for me hes an adult and understands his choices I wish him luck and allow him those choices. I stay out of his way and avoid helping him. i hope you can make a difference but only invest what he will invest otherwise you'll beat yourself up over things you cant control. Maybe im just an asshole for how I deal with my dad but I to have a life and am not willing to forfeited it to watch him citcle the drain by choice. Good luck

[apbt549]

Re: ALCHOLIC FATHER

[QUOTE=guage;1253166]Your a good guy for trying to help but if he doesn't see the problem and isn't willing to give 100% to change then the battle is lost. Hes got to want it. Im your age my father is heavy into the oxys and booze. Smokes a pack of non filtered camels a day and hes all about being a victim. I didnt grow up with him so the bond isn't strong I feel if thats what he wants and understands the consequences then its his to have.
for me hes an adult and understands his choices I wish him luck and allow him those choices. I stay out of his way and avoid helping him. i hope you can make a difference but only invest what he will invest otherwise you'll beat yourself up over things you cant control. Maybe im just an asshole for how I deal with my dad but I to have a life and am not willing to forfeited it to watch him citcle the drain by choice. Good luck[/QUOTE


I feel you gauge.. I feel the same way as you.. I was around my father a lot. when he wasn't drinking he was a great dad..but his over drinking would happen a couple times a week..when I was young I would go out to the oil rig with him and shoot his 44 magum. he would take me for rides on the back of his dirt bike there was a lot of good things he did but the drinking killed those things..

in your case you dad chose not to be a part of your life and he has to deal with that choice..

I spent a couple hours with him today and he met my wife I've been with her since 07 and he's never met her he didn't even know I got divorced from my other wife until 2 years ago so he's missed a lot and that was his choice.. when he got out of my truck today he told me he was going to be good.. I told him good I would call to check on him later in the week.. when I talk to him I can tell he has got some mental health issues bc he repeat a lot of things.. hopefully he will start taking his dementia meds so he doesn't get worse...and he goes back to what he's always done that's fine I tried and now I will have some more memories of spending time with my dad before he passes.. I'd rather do that then look back and then he's gone and then I cant get any memories..

he wont mess up my life his drinking.. I think if I find him things to do that will help him..