wife left me

[lxorl]

Re: wife left me

as far as passion...... were just different people in different places...


she is working on her phd in psychology.... she feels she is such a great person aspiring to do all these great things in society... and that i am not... i am just an average joe who is happy living life...... I say bullshit... i have passion about my painting.... I have passion about learning to play guitar, which by the way she doesnt support what so ever... she puts me down quite a lot with this........

so her saying i have no support and enthusiasm for her passions is pretty much the same thing she is doing to me........ just because im not overly excited about some of her projects doesnt mean i dont support her... shit i moved down there so she could go to school.......

[Sven]

Re: wife left me

I sent you a PM.

[lxorl]

Re: wife left me

never got it...

I sent you a PM.

[T-Man007]

Re: wife left me

as far as passion...... were just different people in different places...


she is working on her phd in psychology.... she feels she is such a great person aspiring to do all these great things in society... and that i am not... i am just an average joe who is happy living life...... I say bullshit... i have passion about my painting.... I have passion about learning to play guitar, which by the way she doesnt support what so ever... she puts me down quite a lot with this........

so her saying i have no support and enthusiasm for her passions is pretty much the same thing she is doing to me........ just because im not overly excited about some of her projects doesnt mean i dont support her... shit i moved down there so she could go to school.......

Psychology? That course is a total mind phuk! J/K I agree with you, you have great passion with your painting. But I bet she isn't feeling the support she needs. With women it's differen than men. If I tell you I'm going to do this or that and you say 'I'm behind you bro', that's all I need. But women need to 'feel' your support by actions, not words. What we say means squat to them when what we do says something different. Whatever you decide, I hope the worst is behind you.

[lxorl]

Re: wife left me

you are right on with this..... this is one of her issues... and i agree with her... i dont show support and enthusiasm for her all the time...... but other times i do with no recognition...

also... i quit an ok job in maryland to move to florida so she could go back to sc hool..... i call that very supportative..... but what have you done for me lately.

Psychology? That course is a total mind phuk! J/K I agree with you, you have great passion with your painting. But I bet she isn't feeling the support she needs. With women it's differen than men. If I tell you I'm going to do this or that and you say 'I'm behind you bro', that's all I need. But women need to 'feel' your support by actions, not words. What we say means squat to them when what we do says something different. Whatever you decide, I hope the worst is behind you.

[T-Man007]

Re: wife left me

you are right on with this..... this is one of her issues... and i agree with her... i dont show support and enthusiasm for her all the time...... but other times i do with no recognition...

also... i quit an ok job in maryland to move to florida so she could go back to sc hool..... i call that very supportative..... but what have you done for me lately.

You know, that is a profound statement. I moved for your success, what else do you want? I don't know, maybe she wants you to take a more active role in her projects. Join her in her quest to help the community and stuff like that. I also feel your frustration too. If I moved that far for someone they better damn appreciate the gesture.

My wife and I moved from Atlanta to Colorado and it was very hard on us. We had to learn a lot of new things about each other. We had not even been married a year when we moved and 6 weeks after we got here, the job I moved for was dissolved. You could say we had a very stressful begining to our marriage too.

[lxorl]

Re: wife left me

yeah that sounds rough...

the problem is she says all of her problems with me lie in my personality... and that you can not change a personality..... thus she really has no desire to work it out.

i really did at first.... but now.... hell now...... i wouldnt trust her ever again... she went about this in a very distructive way....

You know, that is a profound statement. I moved for your success, what else do you want? I don't know, maybe she wants you to take a more active role in her projects. Join her in her quest to help the community and stuff like that. I also feel your frustration too. If I moved that far for someone they better damn appreciate the gesture.

My wife and I moved from Atlanta to Colorado and it was very hard on us. We had to learn a lot of new things about each other. We had not even been married a year when we moved and 6 weeks after we got here, the job I moved for was dissolved. You could say we had a very stressful begining to our marriage too.

[supasaiyan99]

Re: wife left me

Sorry bro! Hang in there and keep your head up! Karma is a ***** so she will soon learn!!!!

[mick-G]

Re: wife left me

I find this whole thing alittle unsettling. She is like... what 24yrs old, and says she is going thru a quarter life crisis, lol?? What is that something her girly friends madeup at school? You are paying on a so called mortgage that you have no proof of??? She closes your joint account and she now wants you to prove that half or part of it is yours?? Ixorl, i don't mean to sound crude here, but this is no woman here, she is a girl trying to act mature, or maybe i should say a black widow. She has almost received her Phd in phyc and you have been instrumental in her acheiving that. Why should you have to prove yourself to your wife?? She/You married for better or for worse. Thats how i was brought up. Sounds to me like she had her cake and didn't even leave you any frosting. Is this a "me, me" situation here Ixorl? She has received everything from you, and now she has nearly accomplished her goals, so now its time for her to move on, am i right on this? I still don't know Ixorl? Remember the saying "Hell hath no furry like a woman scorned"? Well, this sounds to me not like a woman that needs attention or support and enthusiasm, it sounds like she has been scorned. Are you sure you haven't done something to make her like this??? Maybe your marriage was too "open" sexually for her, and in doing so she found someone else or maybe it was the other way around? In my experience most women just don't do things this vendictively unless they have been "scorned". I still don't think we are getting the whole picture here. You keep talking about her, but what about you and your interactions with her? I just think there is more to this than what you are saying. There are two sides to every story.

[trip]

Re: wife left me

Well, if you are both on line flirting with others, that is an action that clearly says we need more verbal stimulation than we are both getting.

Find it very odd a student of pyschology would find it an acceptable action to be deceptive to others on line, that is in and of itself a harmful action, which the study of psych, is all about stopping and putting an end to harmful actions to others and one-self

good luck, lx, you already sound a little better and seem to have a clearer picture of the future

[mick-G]

Re: wife left me

Trip, they didn't just flirt with others, they had an open marrige. That means they consummated their actions, lol! From what everthing that i have heard, there is something else going on here, that Ixorl isn't saying. Women in my experience just aren't that vendictive, especially if they have been with someone like 5-7yrs. To want him out of the house in two wks, close their accounts, and not want to even discuss counciling, etc. There is something that was done to her. Simple as that. I been around the block a few times and i know im being quite blunt, but Ixorl you must face the truth in whatever happened. It may have been a multitude of things that went on for yrs, but only he and she really knows what the ramifications caused.

[trip]

Re: wife left me

mick,

I didn't get the gist it was open open marriage, just it was something different, more along the lines it's very okay to look and flirt, and maybe a little touching, or whatever, yet not the full boot

one thing you are right about, it takes awhile for the whole story to come out on both sides, over on **** i go into some different items, lot's of signs of depression on her part, depressed folks do very erratic things

on our end it's always a guessing game, that's why I say lot's of time "best guess" cause it is what it is

good advice from u as always

good day to all

[lxorl]

Re: wife left me

your right bro... there are two sides to every story.... and her side is very convincing... she is exgtrememly smart.... very well spoken, and her reasons make sense to me...... but they are not deal breakers in my mind..... they are thigns you work on.......

I have not done anything major to trigger this...... maybe some of our openess in our marriage has made her feel bad about us in ways.... but when i say open its not like your thinking.... it has mainly been girl on girl... with me watching

I cheated on her when she was 19 and we had been dating like 6 months...... big fucking deal.... i just made the stupid mistake of telling her.... but this was over 5 years ago, im pretty sure thats not the issue... we have both done shitty things to each other from time to time.... but we have dealt with it, and i thought kept our relationship strong......

I find this whole thing alittle unsettling. She is like... what 24yrs old, and says she is going thru a quarter life crisis, lol?? What is that something her girly friends madeup at school? You are paying on a so called mortgage that you have no proof of??? She closes your joint account and she now wants you to prove that half or part of it is yours?? Ixorl, i don't mean to sound crude here, but this is no woman here, she is a girl trying to act mature, or maybe i should say a black widow. She has almost received her Phd in phyc and you have been instrumental in her acheiving that. Why should you have to prove yourself to your wife?? She/You married for better or for worse. Thats how i was brought up. Sounds to me like she had her cake and didn't even leave you any frosting. Is this a "me, me" situation here Ixorl? She has received everything from you, and now she has nearly accomplished her goals, so now its time for her to move on, am i right on this? I still don't know Ixorl? Remember the saying "Hell hath no furry like a woman scorned"? Well, this sounds to me not like a woman that needs attention or support and enthusiasm, it sounds like she has been scorned. Are you sure you haven't done something to make her like this??? Maybe your marriage was too "open" sexually for her, and in doing so she found someone else or maybe it was the other way around? In my experience most women just don't do things this vendictively unless they have been "scorned". I still don't think we are getting the whole picture here. You keep talking about her, but what about you and your interactions with her? I just think there is more to this than what you are saying. There are two sides to every story.

[mick-G]

Re: wife left me

Ixorl, there isn't really a point now on who did what to who and being angry. The biggest question, is that would she be willing to meet with you and discuss going to a counselor, and im not talking one of theses ones that only have a cert, im talking masters level of education and with at least 15-20yr of practical experience. Is she willing to talk it over and make things work? I don't really know what exactly has transpired, but could it be that some of these girls at her school are influencing her thinking? Just because she is nearing her goal in education doesn't necessarily mean she knows about practical experiences and in dealing with them. She might think she knows it all from her physic classes, but i have taken many physic classes in college, but in the real world of relationships, behavior modification, and the higher tech areas of physic really don't apply to everyday husband/wife relationships. If she truely loves you, and you her, you must be willing to work on things and not just take off when times get bad. Maybe alot of your probs come form you two being together for so long at an early age and not experiencing too much independantly, but still you both made the decision to get married and work on things together, for better and for worse. I don't know what is going on in her mind, but imo your relationship and marriage is greater than any other option. Maybe its worth an open meeting, say dinner and talk, and try to listen to each other and what she is saying without interuptions, then at that time actively discuss going to counceling and make the appointment asap. Anyways, i sent you a pm. If you want to get in touch im a phone call away.

[diggi]

Re: wife left me

I`ve never been married and things like these makes me wonder if I`ll ever have balls to get married.

Sorry to hear this bad news bro..but what can you do.. people marry and divorce every single day..

All this talk if she found another man this or that doesn`t even matter right now. Even if she did (which I think she did) you can`t do nothing about it. You say you admit that you don`t take certain roles or don`t do something when she needs you well maybe she found someone else that is willing to do what she wants him to do, I don`t know.

But my mother has always told me no matter how sweet the marriage is and no matter how strong the love is always make sure to have seperte wallets.. seperate bank accounts.