wife left me

[lxorl]

3 DAYS before Xmas my wife told me she wanted to split.... and divorce.

No one cheated, no abuse...... basically no immediate deal breakers. she feels we need to find ourselfs and need to go our separate ways to do this. basically that we are growing in different directions.

we are only married 1.5 years... but together 5.5 and living together 3 years.... so its not like she didnt know me ahead of time.

I just feel like her reasons are not deal breakers and the very type of things have to work on when you get married.

She basically took all the money, so i have no access to any of it now. I have been paying the morgage on a house that her dad owns... with the assumption that we would get that $$ back when we sell and we could use it towards our next place. they are telling me now that im just a renter and will not give any of that money back....... so im basically broke now. And i need to move out of town , find a place to stay, find a job, and start all over...... did i mention she cleared the bank account and im broke??? Also there isnt enough to fight over... meaning i would spend more on a lawyer than i could potentially win.

just ranting...... but any good advice would be appreciated...

i have been very depressed.... lost 15lb in a week.

[Slightly Enhanced]

Re: wife left me

damn bro, I am sorry to hear that. I don't have any advice except that time heals all wounds. I had my life turned upside down once and my heart crushed. It was the most painful experience of my life, but also the best learning experience of my life.

I would caution you, her reasons for splitting don't correlate with her actions. There is more to this story.

[BIGMOFO]

Re: wife left me

sorry my brother! when we fall we get back up stronger!

[Slightly Enhanced]

Re: wife left me

one last point, cancel all of your credit cards and anyother financial instruments. You don't want to be liable for any of her expenditures.

[TestRip7]

Re: wife left me

Sorry to hear news like that bro. As hard as it may be to see things like this happen for a reason, always. What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger throughout the rest of our live's. Try and find something to occupy your time and get your mind off her.

[bowbow]

Re: wife left me

Damn thats terrible news bro, All I can say is that marriage is alot of work for both of you. My wife and I have been to counseling a couple of times which really helped us. I would suggest that if your willing.

To many people just give up and don't take it seriously anymore.
Did you have a joint account? I would assume so. Even if she took all the money now you are intitled to half I think. I'm not sure of all the details though. That just sucks. Hang in there bro.

[mick-G]

Re: wife left me

I forgot what state you live in Ixorl?? In my state it is no fault, meaning it is 50/50, unless you are smart and have money kept away that was tied with someone else before marriage. I don't want to get too personal here Ixorl, but you two made such a good looking couple, but i do recall you saying before you got married that "she was a handfull" whatever you meant by that? It is just very hard for me to believe a woman that "loved"a man would do such a thing after such a long relationship? There must have been signs of her unfeelingness before hand. Most any good attorney would jump on this, because of the fact of abandonment and her taking everthing out of your funds. Bro, you have to fight for what you are deserved. She left you, not visa versa. Imo, you are being too relaxed on this. I believe that this was deliberately planed and she know exactly what shes doing. Women like this know how to play on your emotions and will make you believe whatever they want. Im sure she know how your brain works. Do you think she is actually going to tell you if she has someone on the side, lol? SE is correct cancel andy credit cards etc asap. Even though im sure you have feeling for her, im positive it isn't the same for her or she wouldn't be doing this. Are you very sure that there isn't a third party involved?? Women that skip like this ususally do. Just for the facts how old is she and you?

[McKenzie]

Re: wife left me

I'm sorry to hear this lxorl. I wish you the very best and stay strong

[DIRTY_SOUTH]

Re: wife left me

OMFG!!!! Dude, Give me a call!!!! Me and Mrs. D-S were just about to call and see if you wanted to meet us for dinner this saturday!!!!

[O2BESOHUGE]

Re: wife left me

one last point, cancel all of your credit cards and anyother financial instruments. You don't want to be liable for any of her expenditures.

AMEN!! LISTEN TO SE!! MY X GOT ME GOOD FOR "TRUSTING" THAT SHE WOULDNT DO THAT TO ME

[DIRTY_SOUTH]

Re: wife left me

I've got a good lawyer, he's a real prick. Should do a good job for you

[T-Man007]

Re: wife left me

Damn thats terrible news bro, All I can say is that marriage is alot of work for both of you. My wife and I have been to counseling a couple of times which really helped us. I would suggest that if your willing.

To many people just give up and don't take it seriously anymore.
Did you have a joint account? I would assume so. Even if she took all the money now you are intitled to half I think. I'm not sure of all the details though. That just sucks. Hang in there bro.

Smart man!! My wife and I went to counseling before we even got married to make sure we new exactly who we were marrying. We found out a lot about ourselves and we were better able to understand one another. We still go to counseling from time to time just to make sure we stay on the same page. Now, I forget your position on this topic (so don't get offended bro), but only take our issues to christian counselors. This is something we both believe and what we learn is what we do. It's not some guys opinion of what we should do but what the Bible says our roles are and it has made things much easier for us. This may not be an option but I just hate when stuff like this happens to people and it's the thing that has worked for us.

With that said, do you or do you not have a contract with the terms of your current home? If not, and her dad is not man enough to honor his word, then quit paying the rent. Period! If he's going to go back on his word then don't give him another dime. He can not kick you out without a court order and that will take months. It's not the honorable thing to do, but when people go back on their word I don't feel they deserve honor. Nothing pisses me off more than someone who doesn't do what they say they will do or someone who doesn't live up to their promises. Also, if you don't have a rental contract, her dad CAN NOT put anything on your credit. No contract, no recourse. All he can do is have you evicted. Sure, he could try to take you to court but you could tell the story about the weat equity in the home that he promised you. He could end up losing more than he wants to. Sorry, but this story is making me pissed off. Hopefully you guys can work things out.

PS- Where are you planning to go?

[DIRTY_SOUTH]

Re: wife left me

Trust me, I've been there and done this and why want you answer the phone?!?!?!

T-Man- You are a very wise bro, You have my respect bro.

lxorl- You know you've got a place to stay bro, But I've been in your exact position even with the whole house thing and all, right down to a T. I know how to deal with this situation. A wise man always learns from mistakes so I'm here to help.

[Rado]

Re: wife left me

So sorry to hear that bro, damn.....

[URNDIT]

Re: wife left me

So sorry to hear this lx. Have to agree w/ everyone else on this... the wording that you used "have to find ourselves" sounds like a pretty typical female's excuse when she has someone on the side, but doesn't want to hurt your feelings, and possibly wants to keep you hanging on in case things don't work-out with her "on the side". I hope that's not the case, but it sure does sound fishy. Sounds like you have alot of support here, and I hope the best for you.