TweetTHATS A GOOD ONE!!
TweetA blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.
Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said, "How much will you charge me?"
The blonde quickly responded, "How about $50?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need were in the garage.
The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?"
He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?" The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those 'dumb blonde' jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
You're finished already?" the husband asked.
"Yes," the blonde replied,"and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed it to her.
And by the way," the blonde added, "it's a Lexus, not a Porch."
Tweetlol
ATTITUDES ARE CONTAGIOUS, MINE MIGHT KILL YOU!
"Goals are Dreams with Deadlines!"
Note: All of my advice and posts are merely for educational purposes I do not condone the use of steroids or any other illegal drugs. I am no doctor and my advice should be taken with a grain of salt, just like everyone else's hypothetical advice.
Tweetlol
TweetHow do you keep a blonde busy for months?
Give her a bag of M&M's and tell her to put them in alphabetical order.
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"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."
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Aerobics: a series of strenuous exercises which help convert fats, sugars, and starch into aches, pains and cramps! (that's why I don't do 'em LOL)
TweetWhat goes "vroom, screech, vroom, screech"?
A blonde driving through a flashing red light.
TweetDid you hear about the blonde who tried to send Spam from her computer?
She couldn't figure out how to get the can into the screen.
TweetOriginally Posted by cyberlegend1994
LOLOL
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"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."
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Aerobics: a series of strenuous exercises which help convert fats, sugars, and starch into aches, pains and cramps! (that's why I don't do 'em LOL)
TweetA blonde was pulled over by a cop one day.
The cop, who was also a blonde, walked up to her window and said, "Can I see your drivers license please?"
"Okay," the blonde replied. She looked through her purse and couldn't find it, so she checked the glove compartment of her car and still couldn't find it.
She asked the cop, "I can't seem to find it, can you tell me what it looks like?"
The cop answered, "Well it's square-shaped and it has your picture on it."
"Oh," said the blonde, so she checked through her purse again.
She pulled out her small, square-shaped compact and opened it. She looked into the mirror and saw her face. "Oh, here it is." She said as she handed the mirror to the cop.
The cop looked at the mirror, sighed, and looked back at the blonde and said,
"No, stupid, this is MY license."
TweetSUPERB
TweetA blonde's car breaks down on the interstate one day. So she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road. She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk. Out of the trunk jump two men in trench coats who walk to the rear of the vehicle where they stand facing oncoming traffic and begin opening their coats and exposing their nude bodies to approaching drivers. Not surprisingly, one of the worst pileups in history of this highway occurs. It's not very long before a police car shows up. The cop, clearly enraged, runs toward the blonde of the disabled vehicle yelling, "What the heck is going on here?" "My car broke down," says the lady, calmly. "Well, what are these perverts doing here by the road?" asks the cop.
"They're my emergency flashers!"