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Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time."
Catherine Zandonella.
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
Henny Youngman.
"Beer: proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
Benjamin Franklin.
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
Dave Barry.
"I drink to make other people interesting."
George Jean Nathan.
"They who drink beer will think beer."
Washington Irving.
"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools."
Ernest Hemingway (For Whom the Bell Tolls).
"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer."
Dave Barry.
"I drink therefore I am."
WC Fields.
"An alcoholic is anyone you don't like who drinks more than you do."
Dylan Thomas.
"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."
Hunter S Thompson.
"Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol."
NF Simpson.
"I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal labotomy."
Fred Allen.
"I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry."
Robert Benchley.
"..he once had his toes amputated so he could stand closer to the bar."
Mike Harding.
"I am a drinker with writing problems."
Brendan Behan.
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day."
Dean Martin.
"The difference between a drunk and a alcoholic is that a drunk doesn't have to attend all those meetings."
Arthur Lewis.
"The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a beer bottle, they're on TV."
Homer Simpson.
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