parents come on in

[sensitivenips]

Re: parents come on in

you know they have those apps that can track their phones. i just don;t want to be an "NSA dad" you must have some trust for your kid and they have to make some mistakes on their own or they won;t learn. right?

now i pray the mistakes are small and harmless and the lessons don;t cost me $$$

i would throw those feelings out the window quick. what happens when hes out with some dudes you know nothing about, and these kids are in the dealings of unlawful things. a situation breaks out and hes caught in the middle of it cuz hes a good kid just made a bad decision, you could at least hit the tracker up with this. he doesnt have to know about it. or say he doesnt come home on time or even at all, your gonna want this technology at the tip of your fingers. there are so many possibilities that can happen, and i myself am nervous when that time comes for me. all i know is that i want to be easy going with them, but at the same time drill real life dangers into their heads about others drinking and getting behind the wheel, doing drugs and growing up to be a nobody, sex cost money and may cost you your future type ideals.

i think you can be a best friend and a parent at the same time, just cant let them get to you when the parenting time comes calling.

sounds like hes playing the nonchalant card on you acting like him going out is no big deal. the best thing i think one could do would be to say if you drink stay at one location, never leave even if you got the drunkies. always extend a hand as baby said and make them comfortable knowing that if they are drunk and need a ride they can count on you and not some friend. so many people are lost at the hands of drunk driving (this is going to be my biggest fear) and as they go through their teen years they tend to have the perspective that they know better than adults, i know i did.

sorry g, i know you asked for parents but ive put a lot of thought for when this time comes for me. also nice to see what everyone else thinks.

[jipped genes]

Re: parents come on in

SN no worries, it is difficult for sure. i don;t want to always think he WILL make the wrong choice.

[BABY1]

Re: parents come on in

SN no worries, it is difficult for sure. i don;t want to always think he WILL make the wrong choice.

It is hard for some people to resist temptation, especially in those years. If we can help them avoid some of those tempting situations, then we have done well. We can not save from all but we can from some. Peer pressure is hard and even harder in this day an age. You are doing great jipped!

[Dieseljimmy]

Re: parents come on in

If i may play devils advocate...

and i have a 3 year old and 1 year old so I'm naive

what did he do that night? Play xbox, facebook...etc. is that ideal?

I remember my parents arguing about what I could and couldn't do when I got my license. And i listened from another roommateand did not parcipate... but i remember my day saying to my mom that a young man has to raise a little hell. And i remember my mom giving in and saying my dad was to make the call and be responsible for what i did.

16,17,18 was still the best years of my life. I was candid with my father and I told him the ttruth in large part. Did I drink, do drugs, go after females... yep. Did I drink and drive, do hard drugs or make careless decision about birth control. Nope. My dad granted me freedom and i was responsible with it. I didn't want to lose it. My parents did a pretty good job with me. And when given the keys I didn't disservice them.

Just sayin... I'm probably wrong tho...happens all the time

He let me go figuratively within constraints but he told me not to disappoint him.

[Bootstomper]

Re: parents come on in

It's such a difficult situation and we always want to keep our kids safe, but I can't ever fault a parent for not allowing their child to go to something like you mention where all of the details cannot or are not divulged and that you don't know those involved... Shoot I know what my so called "friends" at 15-17 were doing, no matter how good of a kid I was and how good of morals my parents instilled in me. My son now is 11 and my days of having to make these decisions, etc... Are right around the corner... My parents and their "strict nature" actually saved me a couple of times... One night that they were going to let me go out but then changed their mind because the driver changed to someone they didn't know... 2 of them ended up dying in a head on collision (which may or may not have happened if I was with them, buuut....). After that night I never questioned my parents judgement of when to allow me to go out again.... They saved me from likely ending up in jail another time as well.
Make your decisions as a parent based on knowledge and instinct and never second guess yourself. All we can do is arm them with the right morals and try to protect them, as well as hope they make the best decisions for themselves and learn from their mistakes.


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[jipped genes]

Re: parents come on in

If i may play devils advocate...

and i have a 3 year old and 1 year old so I'm naive

what did he do that night? Play xbox, facebook...etc. is that ideal?

we watched bad grandpa together. yeah i know. off color but he is 15 i know how he talks away from me with his friends. We are meeting the new kids folks tomorrow afternoon so they can hang out. they wanted to meet us too unless we are being manipulated by what the kids are telling us.

yesterday the kids got out of school early because it started snowing. he did not call us to tell us or ask for a ride. he walked his his GF to her house. I found out they were out when a secretary asked to leave to pick up her kids. so i called him. no answer. i called again and left a message if he did not call me within 2 minutes he was in deep poopoo. he called and said they were having a snowball fight. i know better

it is the time for a kid to push the boundaries.

[DaddyDawg]

Re: parents come on in

^^ Yes it is. especially with a girl involved. Think back to all the stupid things you did trying to impress a girl in your life. Hell, I knee many MEN that do stupid shit and they are over 30. At 15 hormones are going crazy. It's like when I'm running a gram of test. Not many other thoughts in my head besides getting laid. At 15 he has more test running threw him than we can pump into us. Oh to be 15 again. My son has done some dumb shit and a girl was always somehow involved. One of them ending with 3 screws in his knee at 15. Though none of them where ever anything that the police where ever involved so I can't complain too much. I definitely see a lot of the things I have tried to instill I him. He is a good kid with respect for elders and a good work ethic. that being said, I know there will be bumps in the road and feeling out is part of them finding their way to being a man. I just try to be a guide the best I can. I just make sure to talk to him about anything and everything as much as possible, and make sue he knows there is nothing taboo to talk about with me. I would suggest that you take your son out for a day to do something with just you two and just talk with him. whether it's lunch, fishing, the gym, whatever it is that you and your son can do together and just talk with him. Whatever is said is just between you two and NOTHING is off limits and anything he tells you will have no punishments. It's a free pass for any conversation. Don't get pissed and yell about anything, and just explain pros and cons to whatever comes up and stress the importance of trust ect.. You maybe surprised at how it can make a difference. I try to do this at a minimum of once a month and so far so good. I will warn you though to be prepared for anything as I have had a couple head scratchers. LOL Good luck and hope this helps.