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Re: my motivation is dead
same boat as you bluegill.goin thru a seemingly never ending divorce,i work in landscaping 12-16hrs/6days a week for the last month or 2,by the time i get home,shower,eat,sit down for 5 minutes to digest it's already 9:30pm.last thing on my mind is to train.
busted my ass this whole winter puttin on some decent size,broke every PR i ever had and was really considering a show in the next year or so.i haven't hit the gym in over a month and i feel myself just wasting away.i starve all day long no matter how much i try to eat,afraid to over do it cause if i gotta shit there's nowhere for me to go...literally noplace out there.my boss sucks balls and could care less i've got things to do.
at this point i just feel like giving it all up.no more gym,no more supps,gear,etc...at one point it was the gym keeping me sane and calm.now my attitude is changing back into the dick i was before and i'm sooo afraid of relapsing cause i have the propensity to do so when down in the dumps like this.it's almost 3 full years except for 2 beers i had last year.i can't do this anymore.
the summer's comin up with the sweltering 100+ degree days again...last year i passed out 3x and was hospitalized 2x for heat exhaustion and once for an infection from a cut on my leg.just when things go good for me it's like God pulls the rug out from under me as a joke...a big friggin joke.sometimes i just wanna hang up in the park somewhere.all i want is a simple life.not tryin to make tons of coin.had it all before.just want peace and the gym.not too much for us to ask,is it...?
same boat as you bluegill.goin thru a seemingly never ending divorce,i work in landscaping 12-16hrs/6days a week for the last month or 2,by the time i get home,shower,eat,sit down for 5 minutes to digest it's already 9:30pm.last thing on my mind is to train.
busted my ass this whole winter puttin on some decent size,broke every PR i ever had and was really considering a show in the next year or so.i haven't hit the gym in over a month and i feel myself just wasting away.i starve all day long no matter how much i try to eat,afraid to over do it cause if i gotta shit there's nowhere for me to go...literally noplace out there.my boss sucks balls and could care less i've got things to do.
at this point i just feel like giving it all up.no more gym,no more supps,gear,etc...at one point it was the gym keeping me sane and calm.now my attitude is changing back into the dick i was before and i'm sooo afraid of relapsing cause i have the propensity to do so when down in the dumps like this.it's almost 3 full years except for 2 beers i had last year.i can't do this anymore.
the summer's comin up with the sweltering 100+ degree days again...last year i passed out 3x and was hospitalized 2x for heat exhaustion and once for an infection from a cut on my leg.just when things go good for me it's like God pulls the rug out from under me as a joke...a big friggin joke.sometimes i just wanna hang up in the park somewhere.all i want is a simple life.not tryin to make tons of coin.had it all before.just want peace and the gym.not too much for us to ask,is it...?
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