over the top...for a work gift

[skinnyman]

Ok, so i have a manager that has reported into me for about 10 yrs now. I have promoted her several times over the years and have been generous in raises and bonuses. She is a hard working, dedicated employee who i really trust. For her title that i promoted her to last, she may not have the education, experience or knowledge for that title however and again she is a hardworking trustworthy employee. For the position i am in, that goes a long way. I believe she realizes that i have given her opportunities that she may not have recieved elsewhere and I know she knows she is very well compensated and that i do take care of her.

Now, past xmases we do exchange gifts but nothing over $20. I've been giving her $25 gift cards and she will get me a bottle of wine or an ornament. Well, the past 08 Xmas she gave me a gift that i know costs approx $50 and i still only gave a $25 gift card. So for 2009 i upped the gift card to $50. Wouldn't you know for 2009 she gave me a gift that i feel is way out of line....a blue ray disc player. I was like wtf?? Checked on-line and this unit costs approx $150. I am feeling like Krap and am not really liking where this is going because in my mind work is work and our relationship should be just that.

I am off from work this week and plan on talking to her the week i return.

any thoughts on how i should handle this?

[FUZO]

Re: over the top...for a work gift

So your assuming since she gave you a gift that was more then yours you think she has the hots for you or maybe she knows what you have done for her and she is repaying you for giving her the chance as you said she may not have the education, experience or knowledge for that title and she kows this. And so what if she did get you a gift that was more then you gave her,big deal take it say thank you and move on. I wouldnt say a thing but thank you.And even if she does have the hots for you so what its christmas dude its about giving. unless she grabs your balls then say something to her but thats about it.I'm actualy kinda shocked you are looking to much into this as this blue ray she could of got it cheap or from a dude off the street out of a trunk or someone who knows how to get certian things for special prices.Dude roll with it. If you dont want the disk player and i'm being 100% serious here skinny man i'm not kidding send me it as a christmas gift and i'll say thank you


Oh and just think if this is just nothing more then a gift look how dumb you will look if you do say something. I dont like to use the word dumb but you know what I mean

[deepsouth]

Re: over the top...for a work gift

I would just take it and say thank you. Unless she comes on to you, I would let it ride. I will say if she continues to over over spend on gifts or starts bringing you gifts for no reason then I would probably tell her thank you and then let her know thyat as much as you love the gift, she doesn't need to spend that kind of money on you and to put it towards something for herself, enforce that she got her promotions and raises on work ethics and pratices alone and that she has earned what she has- you didn't just give iit to her

[Stout1]

Re: over the top...for a work gift

Ur looking too deep into this....she's just showing her appreciation.

[daved150]

Re: over the top...for a work gift

just say "hey!! whats up with you??!!...i thaught we had an un-written agreement!! nothing over 25 bucks, lol"..."how 'bout we stick to that for now on, ok...thanks for the blue-ray...very nice" make a joke out of it, but lay down the law at the same time!! 25bucks!! thats it!!! "dont make me say it again or i'm gonna think your making too much money, lol!!!"
i see what your saying and i agree with you. its a professional relationship and thats it...yea...you've took care of her, but your not looking for nice gift's becouse of it...shes a good employee and your loyal to your team!! GOOD MAN!!! i'm the same way!!! keep the expensive gifts...you get the position based on your performance, not on how much i like you or how good a buddy you are!

[horsepwr]

Re: over the top...for a work gift

Ok, so i have a manager that has reported into me for about 10 yrs now. I have promoted her several times over the years and have been generous in raises and bonuses. She is a hard working, dedicated employee who i really trust. For her title that i promoted her to last, she may not have the education, experience or knowledge for that title however and again she is a hardworking trustworthy employee. For the position i am in, that goes a long way. I believe she realizes that i have given her opportunities that she may not have recieved elsewhere and I know she knows she is very well compensated and that i do take care of her.

Now, past xmases we do exchange gifts but nothing over $20. I've been giving her $25 gift cards and she will get me a bottle of wine or an ornament. Well, the past 08 Xmas she gave me a gift that i know costs approx $50 and i still only gave a $25 gift card. So for 2009 i upped the gift card to $50. Wouldn't you know for 2009 she gave me a gift that i feel is way out of line....a blue ray disc player. I was like wtf?? Checked on-line and this unit costs approx $150. I am feeling like Krap and am not really liking where this is going because in my mind work is work and our relationship should be just that.

I am off from work this week and plan on talking to her the week i return.

any thoughts on how i should handle this?

Simple. Just have a talk with her explaining, even though you really appreciate the gifts, you want them to go back to the $20 range.

I'm sure she is very appreciative of your confidence in her, and that's her way to thank you for all that you've done for her, and believing in her.

I would just reafirm her excelllence on the job, so she can't possibly get the wrong idea, but drive the point home about the gift cap. Let her know that it will make you feel much more comfortable. Throw some humor in to lighten the subject, like "and hey, it leaves you with more money to buy for people you actually want to,lol"...know what i mean?
It'll take care of it.

[horsepwr]

Re: over the top...for a work gift

I just read dave's post. That's perfect. He's a pro at stuff like this. With the humor and all, while driving the point home, so no-one's feelings get hurt.

[trip]

Re: over the top...for a work gift

two years in a row does not make a trend, or have any real meaning

perhaps she is being generous to all friends and family just not you, she sounds like a great person, probably has done well during the turmoil loves her job, etc.

as people age, they tend too show appreciation more in ways they can

don't forget, she probably enjoys the gift giving part

much ado about nothing

[daved150]

Re: over the top...for a work gift

two years in a row does not make a trend, or have any real meaning

perhaps she is being generous to all friends and family just not you, she sounds like a great person, probably has done well during the turmoil loves her job, etc.

as people age, they tend too show appreciation more in ways they can

don't forget, she probably enjoys the gift giving part

much ado about nothing

what makes a trend? 3yrs, 4yrs, when another employee see's the gifts and questions her getting a position that she may or may not have been qualified for? for a gift? fuk it...nip it in the bud!! thanks kiddo, appreciate the gesture, but lets keep it around the $25 mark, okay? that be greeeat

[skinnyman]

Re: over the top...for a work gift

just say "hey!! whats up with you??!!...i thaught we had an un-written agreement!! nothing over 25 bucks, lol"..."how 'bout we stick to that for now on, ok...thanks for the blue-ray...very nice" make a joke out of it, but lay down the law at the same time!! 25bucks!! thats it!!! "dont make me say it again or i'm gonna think your making too much money, lol!!!"
i see what your saying and i agree with you. its a professional relationship and thats it...yea...you've took care of her, but your not looking for nice gift's becouse of it...shes a good employee and your loyal to your team!! GOOD MAN!!! i'm the same way!!! keep the expensive gifts...you get the position based on your performance, not on how much i like you or how good a buddy you are!

I really like your approach here, makes sence. I really just want to keep our relationship on a professional level however some folks take that as being "hard" or "cold".

[daved150]

Re: over the top...for a work gift

I really like your approach here, makes sence. I really just want to keep our relationship on a professional level however some folks take that as being "hard" or "cold".

i dont. i have 2 employees, that after 20yrs in autosales/sales management, i'd call friends. thats it 2. i never had employee issues! i built teams that would walk off a job, to come to work for me, with a phone call becouse they respected me. (well...that and i put $ in their pocket). i liked it like that....nice and clean

[skinnyman]

Re: over the top...for a work gift

So i took Dave's advise and spoke to my manager this morning and, before i can finish my sentence, she says "let me explain". She said she should have told me before hand that, through her husbands corporate account, they can purchase items, in bulk, for a great discount. she actually picked up 10 blue ray players at 60% off and gave them to several family members as gifts. So at that discount she probably paid around $50 each, if that. So now i really don't feel as bad. And you know, from the comments above, i really did think too much about it. Thanks for the input and i should listen to you guys more often.

[deepsouth]

Re: over the top...for a work gift

yes you should- LOL, but at least now you know

[trip]

Re: over the top...for a work gift

So i took Dave's advise and spoke to my manager this morning and, before i can finish my sentence, she says "let me explain". She said she should have told me before hand that, through her husbands corporate account, they can purchase items, in bulk, for a great discount. she actually picked up 10 blue ray players at 60% off and gave them to several family members as gifts. So at that discount she probably paid around $50 each, if that. So now i really don't feel as bad. And you know, from the comments above, i really did think too much about it. Thanks for the input and i should listen to you guys more often.

imho, i don't think you thought too much about it, you were just unsure what the correct solution was

as you found it, the correct one, was the one you did, and i'm sure you thinking, hmmmm, should of done it sooner

be glad it's all good

[daved150]

Re: over the top...for a work gift

good job!! handled perfectly imo!!