THOSE WITH OLDER KIDS

[daved150]

or, possibly, are older kids! lol. i got a problem with my oldest. he's 17, will be 18 in 6 weeks. zero responcibility, zero reliability, very immature. i cant get him to get a job. i've tried to help. i've been supportive, i've made suggestions on job hunting, i've tried the nice guy way...i've tried the azzhole way..nothing. i cant get through to this kid! he want's everyone to give. he dosnt expect to do anything to help the household out what so ever. sun. i had my young ones (8 and 11), along with my wife helping me tear down the fire pit and re-rock it with bigger rocks..it was alot of rocks, and alot of work. took about 4hrs of moving rock with the 4 of us. when we started i said hey, give me a hand with this firepit...he said ok. 15 mins later i go inside to see if he's dressed...yea, he's dressed and already had a buddy pick him up and he left!!! i was so phuqin hot! i coulda rung his neck! his mom tries to keep the peace, but i'm about to unload on this kid....wtf can i do, without risking jail time, to wake him the phuq up??!! please...suggestion's, before i end up a news story!!!

[kite]

Re: THOSE WITH OLDER KIDS

Damn Dave I hate to hear all that man. Mine are all still pretty young, the oldest will be 9 in July, but I've known quite a few that have gone through what your goin through. It's a tough deal but you just gotta stand firm. He doesn't get any new clothes or anything else unless he buys it for himself. If he's got a car, take it away. If he has internet access or tv in his room, take it out. He's gotta realize it isn't his house, it isn't his show, it's yours. He'll be pissed as all hell but I bet it'll light a fire under his ass. Just my 2 cents.

[O2BESOHUGE]

Re: THOSE WITH OLDER KIDS

YUP, WHOOPINS DONT WORK AT THAT AGE - SO YOU HAVE TO TAKE WHAT HE CONSIDERS IMPORTANT...PRIVELIDGES, CAR, GOING OUT, ETC.

HES GOT TO REMEMBER, ITS YOUR WAY OR THE HIGHWAY TILL HES OLD ENOUGH TO MAKE IT ON HIS OWN

[daved150]

Re: THOSE WITH OLDER KIDS

^I'VE DONE THE BAD GUY THING...I CANT TAKE THE TRUCK FROM HIM, IT DONT MOVE ANYWAY!!! IF I TAKE THE NET, IT HURTS MY YOUNGER ONES THAT ACTUALLY DO USE IT FOR SCHOOL. THE TV'S BEEN GONE FOR 4MO'S NOW...GUESS HE DIDNT CARE ABOUT THAT. I WONT PAY FOR HAIRCUT (HE FOUND THAT OUT LAST WEEKEND) SO HE HAD HIS GIRLFRIEND BUZZ HIM...THE LITTLE SHYT SEEMS TO JUST ROLL WITH WHATEVER I HIT HIM WITH!! I'D HATE TO TURN OFF HIS PHONE (HIS MOM WORRIES ABOUT HIM NOT HAVING A PHONE) BUT MAYBE.....

[daved150]

Re: THOSE WITH OLDER KIDS

YUP, WHOOPINS DONT WORK AT THAT AGE - SO YOU HAVE TO TAKE WHAT HE CONSIDERS IMPORTANT...PRIVELIDGES, CAR, GOING OUT, ETC.

HES GOT TO REMEMBER, ITS YOUR WAY OR THE HIGHWAY TILL HES OLD ENOUGH TO MAKE IT ON HIS OWN

EWW, I LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT "HIGHWAY" IDEAl...how's that work!

[bgpittbull81]

Re: THOSE WITH OLDER KIDS

DAMN BRO......I WAS THE SAME WAY WHEN I WAS GROWING UP...I FOUND OUT THE HARD WAY WHAT LIFE WAS ALL ABOUT...GLAD I DID TO..CUZ IF NOT I WOULD STILL BE INTO THE SAME OLD SHYT BROTHA..SOME TIMES THATS WHAT THEY HAVE TO DO IS FIND OUT FOR THEM SELF WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT.....

ITS TUFF WITH KIDS THESE DAYS..CUZ IF YOU ARE TO MEAN TO THEM THEN THEY JUST GO AND DO WHAT EVER THEY WANT AND NOTHING MATTERS TO THEM...BUT AT THE SAME TIME IF YA LET THEM GET AWAY WITH SHYT THEN THEY RUN ALL OVER YA......

HOW LONG HAS HE BEEN LIKE THIS????? I WOULD HAVE SENT HIS ASS TO BOOT CAMP...

[kite]

Re: THOSE WITH OLDER KIDS

EWW, I LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT "HIGHWAY" IDEAl...how's that work!

Get a job or kiss the bricks big boy! And yeah I'd take the phone too.

[diggi]

Re: THOSE WITH OLDER KIDS

once he's 18..its either your way or kick him out.. period.

[daved150]

Re: THOSE WITH OLDER KIDS

he's been progressivly getting worse for the last year..the thing is he dont do drugs (i truly believe that), i know he drink a beer here and there, but a couple friends of his i asked said it's like he nurses it. every other parent STILL tells me how polite he is...how HE HELPS THEM WHEN HE COMES OVER!!!! (but, the little shyt cant help his own!!)...he's gonna get a wake up the hard way i suppose....as a dad...that sux.

[trip]

Re: THOSE WITH OLDER KIDS

is he the type that avoids confrontation

talks in generalities

is passive as opposed too active?

[SpyWizard]

Re: THOSE WITH OLDER KIDS

or, possibly, are older kids! lol. i got a problem with my oldest. he's 17, will be 18 in 6 weeks. zero responcibility, zero reliability, very immature. i cant get him to get a job. i've tried to help. i've been supportive, i've made suggestions on job hunting, i've tried the nice guy way...i've tried the azzhole way..nothing. i cant get through to this kid! he want's everyone to give. he dosnt expect to do anything to help the household out what so ever. sun. i had my young ones (8 and 11), along with my wife helping me tear down the fire pit and re-rock it with bigger rocks..it was alot of rocks, and alot of work. took about 4hrs of moving rock with the 4 of us. when we started i said hey, give me a hand with this firepit...he said ok. 15 mins later i go inside to see if he's dressed...yea, he's dressed and already had a buddy pick him up and he left!!! i was so phuqin hot! i coulda rung his neck! his mom tries to keep the peace, but i'm about to unload on this kid....wtf can i do, without risking jail time, to wake him the phuq up??!! please...suggestion's, before i end up a news story!!!

wow, don't make her or let her get between the two of you.. has he finished highschool??

what are the expectations.??

my two daughters turned out great..

we had our niece come live with us, (we had court ordered custody) and she went the same way.. all she wants to do is get stoned, and party with her friends

quote

"why do i need a job?? i don't need much"

so she ran away rather than get a job, we called the police, but they wont' do anything since she was so old..

it's a generation that is doing this, i don't know how or why they have turned out this way..

it's not you..

it's him, and his friends..

[daved150]

Re: THOSE WITH OLDER KIDS

is he the type that avoids confrontation

talks in generalities

is passive as opposed too active?

yes...really, really avoids confrontation!! not active, very passive...

[daved150]

Re: THOSE WITH OLDER KIDS

wow, don't make her or let her get between the two of you.. has he finished highschool??

what are the expectations.??

my two daughters turned out great..

we had our niece come live with us, (we had court ordered custody) and she went the same way.. all she wants to do is get stoned, and party with her friends

quote

"why do i need a job?? i don't need much"

so she ran away rather than get a job, we called the police, but they wont' do anything since she was so old..

it's a generation that is doing this, i don't know how or why they have turned out this way..

it's not you..

it's him, and his friends..

i hear ya bro...i wish it was drugs!! i'd handle that! i wish it was something that i could put a finger on, but it's not...wtf is wrong with these kids??! looking back (hind sight 20/20) you could see sign's that it was going this way...it's not like my youngest 2....a whole different attitude

[SpyWizard]

Re: THOSE WITH OLDER KIDS

i hear ya bro...i wish it was drugs!! i'd handle that! i wish it was something that i could put a finger on, but it's not...wtf is wrong with these kids??! looking back (hind sight 20/20) you could see sign's that it was going this way...it's not like my youngest 2....a whole different attitude

each kid is going to be different, treat them that way..

my other 2 nieces each spent time with us, and they are fine.. great college students..

have you talked to your son about the military?? airforce?? it's a way to get away, have fun and get time to grow up..

you didn't fail, he is just making decisions for himself.. just like the firepit issue, he didn't want to help, he knew it would be hot hard work, so his choice was to not help.. that's cool..

his next lesson should be he doesn't get to use it..

then when he's 18.. have you asked him yet where he will be living within 30 days of turning 18??

one of the funny things that is going around in this culture..

to win the goal is to be

32 yrs old and still living with your parents.. they'll be dead soon and you can just move into the big bedroom..

[daved150]

Re: THOSE WITH OLDER KIDS

well, i keep asking him if he's picked out his trailor yet, does that count? i keep telling him "you better come home early tonight so you can watch your mom do the wash...you'll be doing your own, AT YOUR TRAILOR pretty soon"!! 32 living with me!! no phuqin way!! i told my wife, he's on a very, very short time table after he turns 18 or i'll sell this phuqin house and move us into a 2 bedroom trailor! she laffed the first time...i told her to try me! that aint gonna happen!!!
the problem is he's gonna be short on credit's. he's gonna have to pull another half year out before he graduates, and i told him if he quits, i will kick his azz. so, i have until next jan. before i'd boot him...but, thats about it. i still mention, dont forget, it'll be winter when you get your trailor, you better make sure you got enough money in savings to turn the heat on. i've tried having seriouse discussion with him about this stuff. and it typically yeilds about 1.5-2 days worth of 1/2 way decent decisions (witch tells me he has the ability to do the right thing, just not the want), then it's back to the same bonehead shyt