FATHERS

[daved150]

Re: FATHERS

Absolutely! Most of the books I've read on it give the most important ages for which a father must be actively present in their childs life. For boys, which I've read the most on because I have a boy, it's the age frame of 4 to 8. That is the crutial years because that is when they start to emulate dad, that is when they start to compy your actions, your words, your behaviors, everything. It's very very important during this time for them to see you and their mother spending quality time together so he knows how important the wife is. It's also when they begin to form the foundation of being a man. I watch the things my son tries to copy and I encourage him. Unless its something bad, then I explain to him why I should not have done something and I tell him what would have been better to do and I also appologize to him for doing the wrong thing. My son is smart and very very rarely does he make the wrong choice. He will admit when he's done something wrong and he forgives quickly when something is done to him. I could learn a few lessons from him, and I do quite often. A childs heart can be so pure and honest that it amazes me sometimes. I think the fact I work from home helps alot. I get to see him during the day and night. Some days I take him with me to do my job and we have some good quality time.

that's exactly what i think. with my 17yr old (boy)...it was like from birth untill about 14-15, i was very influential in his decissions (starting falling off around 13)...but, after the drivers licence, you start to see the rewards of you teaching...new teaching gets a little tuffer...and now at 18 (june) he's more like me...the only influencs i have on his decissions now, is in the fact that i instilled strong moral fiber, and direction when he was younger..i have no delussions...he's not going to ever ask me my thaught's on him hitting the pipe...i wont have the opp. to influence him at that moment...the influence on him at that moment, comes to play from the way he was raised...you dont get the shot's at influencing them at those points...you have to get the job done when they are young. the only failure as a father i have in regards to mike, is i didnt teach him enough about responcibility....my phuq up...and it's hard at 18 to teach that...so, in part, i'm speaking from exp. he's a great guy...very honest, i have absolutley no fears of drugs, or criminal act's by him. but, he does not know what a hard days work is. my fualt...i wont make the same mistakes with the 2 younger ones...as i said before...by 18, you've better have done the job!!!

[O2BESOHUGE]

Re: FATHERS

SOUNDS LIKE YOU DID A GOOD JOB DAVE!

[bowbow]

Re: FATHERS

I meant no disrespect to anyone. I just don't agree with there being an age limit to are dutys as a father. I hope my daughter values my opinion when she is 30.

And you are right Dave about the most critical time is when they are young, we better be getting the job done.

[AlmostThere]

Re: FATHERS

If my daughter turned to a life like that i would consider myself a failure as a father. I think self esteem plays a huge role in the choices they make in life. I am raising my daughter to think shes the most beautiful smart creative girl who ever walked. I will see to it she has everything she wants in life. Whether it be love and affection or a pony. Theres no way in hell i want my baby to be on Howard Stern some day doing tricks cause she turned out wrong.

[daved150]

Re: FATHERS

If my daughter turned to a life like that i would consider myself a failure as a father. I think self esteem plays a huge role in the choices they make in life. I am raising my daughter to think shes the most beautiful smart creative girl who ever walked. I will see to it she has everything she wants in life. Whether it be love and affection or a pony. Theres no way in hell i want my baby to be on Howard Stern some day doing tricks cause she turned out wrong.

self esteem!!! yes, plays a huge roll...i never, ever told my oldest (or the other ones) that there is something they cant do!!! when he said he wanted to be an asternaught, i baught him a telescope...when he said he wanted to be in the nhl, i baught him the most expensive skate, and rollerblades i could find!! and there's no doubt, that if my kids grow up to be anything short of a solid person, an honest person or a caring person...it's my fault!...the most important thing (i feel) to take from this discussion is, WE have to raise them right!! again, i was a young dad (20) and my only screw up (in my opinion) was not making him WORK for anything...i gave him anything, and everything he wanted...now, i cant get him to get a job...if i push hard enough, he lands something for 3-4 weeks, then quits...i find out weeks later...with my younger ones (8 and 11), thats not the case...sometimes (when they point it out) i feel that i'm too strict with them...it's a fine line between giving them rope to run, and hanging them with it. but...you see the payoff...you see the return on your investment...when the elderly couple comes home with groceries, and they run over to give a hand. when the teacher tells you how wonderful it is to have them in his/her class. when, after a terrible day, you come home and they fed the dog, cleaned their room, did their homework, and started doing the dishes, and not becouse they are affraid of getting hammered, but mearly becouse they called ya after school and could hear you were having a bad day! (it happens!! i'd like to see it more, but i'll take what i get, lol) then...you know...YOU KNOW...they're gonna be alright. they're gonna be just fine!!

sorry about the book, but i do have strong feelings on subjects like this...just whiz past it, and move on. lol

[supasaiyan99]

Re: FATHERS

Great discussion guys! I don't have any kids, nor plan on having any anytime soon, but I'm learning something!