Question for the men!

[McKenzie]

Re: Question for the men!

stay at home mom, that works part time, takes care of the kids, cook's....sounds like what i was talking about!!! my wife wears the big pj's too sometimes....i was just trying to convey that i dont think it really has alot to do with cooking. and i do believe my wife is perfect, at least to me. and believe me, i had to wow her alot to get her cofidence built up. now, she is exactly what i described.
i give you a ton of credit for what you do....i know how difficult it is to be in your position. i see my wife work 45-50hrs a week, keep the home and the kids (3). i respect any woman that can do that. i'm sure fuzo feels the same way. and, yep, the sex does have alot to do with it, lol

Very well said Dave....I commend you on giving props to baby1 and your wife for working and dealing with a household and husband. There are some men who dont even acknowledge that! or give credit where credit is due.

Again, every man should at some point commend/give props to their wife or g/f for just doing that...and of course, the woman should say/give credit to the man

[McKenzie]

Re: Question for the men!

Does seem to always end on a sex note, but from a mans point of view, i hear alot of men complain that their wifes don't do alot as far as sex goes. I mean like doing whatever to pls without the man having to suggest not only in sex but what they wear, like sexy outfits etc and not only when he knows that your going to have sex. Women need to understand that not only sex, but the visual foreplay for most men is a big thing and is alot dif than a womans needs for it. don't be afraid to get nasty and take inititave. A woman should feel beautiful about herself reguardless, but yeah the pjs and baggy t-shits etc a girl needs to be able to relax as well. Also, other than that a woman that really listens. I know women have dif wows then men, but if you fullfill the above, then i would guarntee yours "wow" would be met. As far as cooking, yes it does matter to a point, but it depends alot on how your man was brought up, and also sometimes it just doesn't matter. Sure i like a good meal myself, but hey if she makes something that doesn't turn out, then hey...no big deal. Im not one for baked deserts.

OK I'M MAD! YES, I'M MAD!

Not directly at you mick....but you stirred it in this post...

Why do you men always think its about THEM? I mean shit, come on man. You men think its all about what you want....visual, sexual, for her to do things for you. Shit, there are two ppl in a relationship. What the feck do you do for her visually, sexually? Men, at a certain age become impotent, premature ejaculators, or even having to deal with fluctuating sex drives. its all crap! Do men dress sexy, act sexy? support her emotionally?

[mtnmedic]

Re: Question for the men!

We're not all like that.

[mick-G]

Re: Question for the men!

^Lol!!! I knew id get a reaction from that. It is true tho Mck. Men are switched to want visual sexual stimuli not just the sex only. A man can tell when a woman isn't really into it, doesn't feel free with it, or just isn't interested. It is not all about what men want, but if a women truely wants the "wow" from her man, then the sexual part has to be there and with the visual, not only just when they are going to do it but other times. She must feel beautiful about herself and want to feel sexy, not only for her man, but for herself. I hear it all the time, and when you hear most women complaining about the husband/b/f not doing this or that, chances are what i said above is not happening. It shouldn't be a chore or something to be "expected" but something they feel good about and want to do for their man. I know it has to be a two way street, but also the listening part. Men like to be listened to and praised. Stroke his ego a bit, lol! If you truely are "in love" with him this should not be hard to do. Women do it all the time when dating, so why not after the relationship developes?? I know men do it. From what i hear from men that are complaining, it is because of the lack of this and the above. If a woman treats her man disrespectedly, then for sure she is headed in the wrong direction. A woman that is not happy or feels good sexually about herself will show on the outside. Even if she is a housewife and has to work, take care of kids, and come home to do cleaning, sure they need time to relax etc, but she must not let herself get overburdened that it reflects her self image. Lets put it this way also, look at how women are when they are dating..and this goes for men as well. Take the extra time to make it work and it will. Cooking, lol...well that is good if she can cook, but i think that like i said depends on how the man was brought up. I myself like a decent meal, but it isn't that big a deal, i mean yeah its "wow" if she can cook something great, but it certainly doesn't compare to a woman that can keep the fire burning. Prehaps mens deep instincts are still sexual, and if you look at it, it is the same in any specie. Females entice and males react. If the "female" stops enticing the male will seek out other females that are sending out the signals to procreate. I doubt this will ever change.

[BABY1]

Re: Question for the men!

^Lol!!! I knew id get a reaction from that. It is true tho Mck. Men are switched to want visual sexual stimuli not just the sex only. A man can tell when a woman isn't really into it, doesn't feel free with it, or just isn't interested. It is not all about what men want, but if a women truely wants the "wow" from her man, then the sexual part has to be there and with the visual, not only just when they are going to do it but other times. She must feel beautiful about herself and want to feel sexy, not only for her man, but for herself. I hear it all the time, and when you hear most women complaining about the husband/b/f not doing this or that, chances are what i said above is not happening. It shouldn't be a chore or something to be "expected" but something they feel good about and want to do for their man. I know it has to be a two way street, but also the listening part. Men like to be listened to and praised. Stroke his ego a bit, lol! If you truely are "in love" with him this should not be hard to do. Women do it all the time when dating, so why not after the relationship developes?? I know men do it. From what i hear from men that are complaining, it is because of the lack of this and the above. If a woman treats her man disrespectedly, then for sure she is headed in the wrong direction. A woman that is not happy or feels good sexually about herself will show on the outside. Even if she is a housewife and has to work, take care of kids, and come home to do cleaning, sure they need time to relax etc, but she must not let herself get overburdened that it reflects her self image. Lets put it this way also, look at how women are when they are dating..and this goes for men as well. Take the extra time to make it work and it will. Cooking, lol...well that is good if she can cook, but i think that like i said depends on how the man was brought up. I myself like a decent meal, but it isn't that big a deal, i mean yeah its "wow" if she can cook something great, but it certainly doesn't compare to a woman that can keep the fire burning. Prehaps mens deep instincts are still sexual, and if you look at it, it is the same in any specie. Females entice and males react. If the "female" stops enticing the male will seek out other females that are sending out the signals to procreate. I doubt this will ever change.

You certainly don't know anything about being a woman. It is not our job to try and please our man. If a man needs that, he obviosly has a confidence issue!!!

[mick-G]

Re: Question for the men!

Of course i will never be a woman, so in that respect, it is a pretty unfair statement to make, just as i could say, you know nothing about being a man. I hear all the time at work with women that have issues with their men and it is always the same. They same thing i hear men complaining about. And why are we using the term "job" here. It should be something a woman wants to do for her man. If a woman truely loves her man then where does the "job" come in?? I guarntee you if a woman thinks it is a "job" to sexually entice her man and to feel sexual and beautiful about herself, then it won't be long before there are problems in the relationship. Sure there are men with confidence issues, but it is usually becuase of a lack in some area, and we are not talking physical either, lol! I wonder why when men try to explain they get so defensive. Then when they find out their partner is looking in the other direction it is always their faults? Relationships are a two way street for sure, but in the relationship the person must look at themselves and their actions first.

[mick-G]

Re: Question for the men!

Let me add to this..as i don't think iam being understood. You first asked about cooking and if it is a way to a mans heart..I don't really think that it is. I am just giving you examples of what i know is the way to a mans heart. Listening, and yes alot of men like to be praised, just as women do. You did not ask what a way to a woman's heart is, but to a man's. Totally dif seniero.

[BABY1]

Re: Question for the men!

Of course i will never be a woman, so in that respect, it is a pretty unfair statement to make, just as i could say, you know nothing about being a man. I hear all the time at work with women that have issues with their men and it is always the same. They same thing i hear men complaining about. And why are we using the term "job" here. It should be something a woman wants to do for her man. If a woman truely loves her man then where does the "job" come in?? I guarntee you if a woman thinks it is a "job" to sexually entice her man and to feel sexual and beautiful about herself, then it won't be long before there are problems in the relationship. Sure there are men with confidence issues, but it is usually becuase of a lack in some area, and we are not talking physical either, lol! I wonder why when men try to explain they get so defensive. Then when they find out their partner is looking in the other direction it is always their faults? Relationships are a two way street for sure, but in the relationship the person must look at themselves and their actions first.

So what you are saying is that if a women does not satisfy her man, to his expectations, then the man will look elsewhere? I won't even go any further withthis. Everyone has their own opinions.

[trip]

Re: Question for the men!

Because women go the extra mile to understand the man, and 80% of men just simply do not at all, and give lip service to the effort of trying.

Woman mainly don't do alot as sex goes, cause the man doesn't make her feel sexy, and thus one thing leads to another.

As far as visual goes, both sexes are about the same in terms of seeing/feeling connection.

[trip]

Re: Question for the men!

Oh, and fwiw, this is an area that is hard to generalize, because everyone on earth has a different past and future, and throw in the fact the brain is wired several thousand different ways, and you get thousands of interpratations of what is right and wrong, which is why lot's of conflict in lot's of marriages, just different points of view.

[mick-G]

Re: Question for the men!

No, Iam not saying anything about if a woman doesn't meet her mans expectations. There really shouldn't be "expectations", but to just want to do things to please. This is going for men as well. There are times when ppl are just not interested period, and iam fully aware of that. What iam saying, and i will not just put this on the woman, but on the man as well, that if they "give up" on doing the special things like being sexy, taking time for themselves to get their self image up, and listening and praising then there will sooner or later be problems of the heart, this goes for both women and men. I just find that someone has to make the start, whether it be the man or the woman. If both are to stubborn to make the changes then how will there be any resolution. There are cases as well where a woman, mostly the woman will make the changes, but it doesn't cause a change in the man. In that case i would think some counseling might help.

[McKenzie]

Re: Question for the men!

Oh Mick....I wish your posts werent so feckin long winded I cant even bring myself to read them...I have to pick n scan thru them.

So if the woman ceases to be visually sexy or even ceases to initiate sex towards her man...he's going elsewhere? Again, you're throwin it all on us again.

What if he isnt so attractive anymore? pot belly? possibly even balding? Impotent? Premature ejaculator? You think I wanna deal with that shit?

NOPE!

Now if he makes an effort at being visually sexy for me, working out, looking nice/clothes, and emotionally supportive, then sure I want to be with him physically, emotionally, etc.

and... FWIW....I am very secure with myself, emotionally/mentally and physically....I do make my OWN money....I do own my own home and very expensive if I say so myself. I dont need a man to get me these things.

[mick-G]

Re: Question for the men!

Lol!^ I don't think you read everything Mck. I did not say if a woman doesn't do all these things that he will certainly go elsewhere, but you can't exclude it either. Also, if your man is that bad as you describe above, then you certanily have a right to be neglectfull, lol! All iam saying here basically is that it has to go both ways and someone has to make the effort to start. Sure women would all like to have the man start, but in all honesty, in most cases that ain't gonna happen. So all im suggesting is to put the stubborn-ness aside and really try. Start with yourself making time, pampering yourself making yourself feel sexy, reguardless how you feel about your man. Better yet, forget about him and just do what iam saying..give it time and see what happens. If then say after 6months there is no improvement, either seek counseling or move on. You must do it for yourself tho, any man can tell if a woman is doing something that is an effort. With women tho i know there are many dif levels of what can be going on.

[BABY1]

Re: Question for the men!

Geez!! I just asked a question about cookig, that's all!

[mick-G]

Re: Question for the men!

Lol!!! Keep up the good cooking. Alot of men like a woman that can cook. Just bringing up dif senerios, not to reflect on women here, just in general from what i hear from men.