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Thank you!
My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time
and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months.
Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed and healthy.
* Extra thanks to whoever sent me the email about rat crap in the glue on envelopes -
* cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to seal an envelope.
* Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. Because of your genuine concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because I know it can remove toilet stains, which is not exactly an appealing characteristic.
* I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
* I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
* I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
* I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
* I no longer worry about my soul because at last count, I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.
* Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
* I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl on the internet who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).
* I no longer have any money at all in fact - but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special on-line email program.
* I will never use the cell phone while it is being charged , not to blow my brain out.
Yes, I want to thank you all so much for looking out for me that I will
now return the favour!
If you don't send this email to at least 144,000 ( one million ) people in
the next 7 minutes( split of a second )a large pigeon with a wicked case of
diarrhoea ( bird flu ) will land on your head at 5:00 PM (EST) this
afternoon. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend
of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's
beautician.
DO IT NOW OR ELSE.
And have a nice day! ( Year )
My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time
and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months.
Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed and healthy.
* Extra thanks to whoever sent me the email about rat crap in the glue on envelopes -
* cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to seal an envelope.
* Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. Because of your genuine concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because I know it can remove toilet stains, which is not exactly an appealing characteristic.
* I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
* I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
* I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
* I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
* I no longer worry about my soul because at last count, I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.
* Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
* I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl on the internet who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).
* I no longer have any money at all in fact - but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special on-line email program.
* I will never use the cell phone while it is being charged , not to blow my brain out.
Yes, I want to thank you all so much for looking out for me that I will
now return the favour!
If you don't send this email to at least 144,000 ( one million ) people in
the next 7 minutes( split of a second )a large pigeon with a wicked case of
diarrhoea ( bird flu ) will land on your head at 5:00 PM (EST) this
afternoon. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend
of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's
beautician.
DO IT NOW OR ELSE.
And have a nice day! ( Year )
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