no finger up the butt for me!

[jipped genes]

i have my anual physical today. i guess i will get the ball grab and all but no finger. i dont know how i will respond i have 3 years left until the ole prostate check. i am scared even now.

anybody had it done?

[SMILEY FACE]

Re: no finger up the butt for me!

NO ...good luck Biatch

[BIGMOFO]

Re: no finger up the butt for me!

i have my anual physical today. i guess i will get the ball grab and all but no finger. i dont know how i will respond i have 3 years left until the ole prostate check. i am scared even now.

anybody had it done?

nope, but pretend that its your wife doing it and let us know how it goes! lol

[SUGARBABY]

Re: no finger up the butt for me!

are you afraid the doc is gonna rub your male g-spot a little too long? Or are you afraid of how your wife will respond when you ask her to play up there during love making??

[BIGMOFO]

Re: no finger up the butt for me!

are you afraid the doc is gonna rub your male g-spot a little too long? Or are you afraid of how your wife will respond when you ask her to play up there during love making??

LMAO

[edvedr]

Re: no finger up the butt for me!

doc has never, sexual partners is a different story

[mick-G]

Re: no finger up the butt for me!

How old are you Jipped? All ive been getting are the blood tests done once a yr. If your PSA is in the normal range, it is not required to get it physically checked.

[Iron_Gook]

Re: no finger up the butt for me!

I posted this at **** from my last "butt check" due to having blood in my stool. Here's how it went:


"Okay, this is how it went down yesterday at my medical appointment. First, as expected, I got a female doctor. I had a couple other issues including a new set of blood work and allergy medication refills – and of course my bloody butt hole. Well, the doc was having a terrible day – phone was ringing off the hook during my visit in her office. I wanted to walk out. Getting all the necessary blood work requested into their computer system was a pain in the ass and she was getting pissed because they just started using a new software program. So, with the computer giving her hell and the phones ringing off the hook, I could tell she was extremely agitated. After my blood work requests were finished we spoke about my refills and then came the big, “I found blood in my stool yesterday when I pooped.” She immediately got this look of “PHUCK” on her face and then told me that she will have to exam me. I was expecting it so it came as no surprise. She had me turn around and drop my drawers and then she shoved what felt like her whole hand up my ass. As she was in there, all I could do is grunt – “UGGGGH” - like I was constipated and trying to take a massive dump. It happened almost spontaneously – I couldn’t control myself. I was mortified. She did a hemocult test with my crap and found no blood. So she thinks it was just a hemorrhoid that burst just inside my ass. *Huge sigh of relief*! So, now I have to wait 6 days and then do three days of hemocult tests on my own shit. Got to poke my turds with what resembles a coffee stirring stick and then wipe it on these little cards, keep them in the fridge (NASTY) and then return them after my third test. Looks like I’m going to live!"

IG

[Iron_Gook]

Re: no finger up the butt for me!

Here's another experience I had with the "butt check" because I was pissing blood for two weeks straight. Posted this at **** but wanted to share...

"I went in to see him because I had been pissing blood for two weeks. It all started when I went to take a piss one morning at work and instead of that beautiful golden flow we all are accustomed to, I urinated the deepest, darkest crimson colored piss I had ever seen. My piss resembled more like a Merlot from Napa Valley, than the familiar golden Tree Top Apple Juice color that I would soon come to miss.

So, the initial diagnosis from my primary care provider (that’s what the Navy calls them) was that I was exercising to often and with to much intensity. My care provider advised me to cool my jets in the gym for at least a week. So I did. No exercising, no lifting weights, no running, nothing but sitting on my dead ass and pissing more blood. You have to love Navy Medicine.

A week passes and I’m still pissing blood. However, now I’m pissing clots. Not exactly one of the most pleasant experiences that I have undergone. There is nothing like passing the equivalent of a massive “snot” through your man tube. There wasn’t just one or two. As time progressed, the clots became greater in size and quantity. After my week was over, my primary care provider again told me that after consulting an urologist that I should continue to remain on a limited status for another week. This meant another week of pissing blood and clots!

So, two weeks pass and I use the term “pass” very lightly. Nothing was passing easily. After two weeks of agony, I finally got my highly anticipated appointment with an urologist. Never did I realize that this appointment would become one of the most embarrassing moments of my life.

At the urologist’s office, I filled all the necessary paper work and provide the nurse with a urine sample. Which looked more like a nice glass of warm wine. Cheese and crackers anyone? Just the usual routine expected at an urologist’s office. My first time ever so I figured this was the norm.

So, I’m alone with the urologist and he asks me a dozen questions and after answering them we get to the “drop trousers” stage of our visit. So, I drop my pants and draws around my ankle and he quickly takes control of my nuts like it’s a Sony PlayStation controller. He squeezes, rubs, pokes, grabs and tugs on my nut sack like he was playing his own personal game of tether-ball. After the customary turning of the head to the left and right, and coughing, respectively, he tells me “okay, I need you to turn around and bend over the examination table.” Okay, my mind is going a freaking million miles an hour and for a lack of better words, I’m scared “shitless”. Hesitantly, I turn around and bend over the table and while I’m turning I notice that he picks up the biggest econo-sized tube of KY-Jelly I have ever witnessed with my own two eyes. This tube looked like it belonged on a grease gun for your car. So, I squared myself against the examination table and waited for the inevitable. He tells me, “alright, this may feel a little cold and uncomfortable at first.” Are you freaking kidding me? His fingers ~ yes that’s plural, he had two fingers up my ass ~ were colder than an Eskimo holding a Popsicle in an igloo on a January night in Anchorage Alaska! I remember my ass clinching up so tight around his fingers! I swear I could have snapped his fingers like snapping a carrot in half. Then I got chill bumps all over myself. Even the hairs on my ass were standing! Simultaneously, he started to feel around my ass for my prostate and all I could do was groan, “uuuggggghhhh”. It felt like he was trying to rub and flick a bugger off his fingers while submerged in my ass. Nastiest feeling I’ve ever experienced. Consequently, when he was through examining my most nether regions of my ass, he reached behind his desk and threw me a box of Kleenex and told me, “You can use these to clean yourself up and once you’re done, just let the nurse know”.

So, picture this. I’m standing stark naked with my drawers around my ankles; just finished having this urologist snap his fingers to "elevator music" in my ass along with 2 lbs of KY Jelly; I’m trying to drudge out all this KY from my butt crack with the cheapest freaking tissue paper on earth that seems to disintegrate on contact; he opens the door to leave and at that precise moment ~ a nurse walks by the door to find me in all my glory on display with my hand jammed up the crack of my ass ~ all the while feeling as if I had been legally violated!

That my friend is embarrassment!"

IG

[BIGMOFO]

Re: no finger up the butt for me!

Well jipped, it's no fun bro. My sister-in-law works at my doc's office. She asked me how it went when I came out. I told her I felt violated and wanted to curl up in a corner. Now she laughs at me all the time. The worst thing is, the doc doesn't even call or write. Two weeks ago I saw him at a community event walking hand in hand with a woman, I guess he's married. My wife points to him and says "you and he are close" (My sister-in-law was there with us.) I said to her "Yes, (pouting), I see he's gone back to women." My sister spit her water out laughing.

It sucked jipped. It was quick, it's just the invasion and mental thing. Then there's all that friggen k-y or whatever the hell they lube with, and the phuker hands me a box of kleenex and stands there while I'l trying to wipe my ass to add to the embarassment feeeling. I told the wife, I'll die of prostate cancer before someone sticks their hand up my ass again. I've taken my saw palmeto without fail every since. Seriously, I would get checked again, I know guys with prostate problems & cancer. One has stage 4 because he wouldn't get checked. A finger up the bum is better than surgery or death.

thats nice bro, but you need to stop having it done every week!

[superdog]

Re: no finger up the butt for me!

Chinese guys almost never get prostate problems or cancer in that area.

Why?

Green Tea. A long term study even found that that the more green tea you drink that there is no drop off in benefit. Drink more and get a healthier pecker. I drink it almost every day now.

[mick-G]

Re: no finger up the butt for me!

i agree with you SD! Ive heard many claims to this, also lot of Chinese only eat fish, rice, veg, and some chicken. I do combo of green tea, saw palmetto and red yeast rice with also lot of water.

[SUGARBABY]

Re: no finger up the butt for me!

IG - so what was wrong with you? Why were you pissing blood?

[FUZO]

Re: no finger up the butt for me!

SHIT MY DOC HAS BEEN USING 2 FINGERS ALL THE TIME.LOL I HAD A FEMALE DOC AND SHE HAD ASKED ME IF IT WAS OK TO DO A PROCTAL EXAM AND I SAID BE MY GUEST JUST GIVE ME A REACH AROUND WHEN YOUR DONE.

[Equalizer]

Re: no finger up the butt for me!

Oh I almost forgot, Doctors really appreciate it when you think of them when you need to get this exam. please wash your ass, and it's comon courtisy to stick flower in your butthole for them.