How deep in debt would you go for a Diamond

[Slightly Enhanced]

How deep in debt would you go for a Diamond?

I have a tendency to be too logical. At times it is a good thing, but in a relationship it can be a bit dull. I am young. I don’t want to spend my life worried about money. So I try to save a lot for the future, and pay off my debt as quickly as possible.

I want to propose to my girl. I am having a hard time deciding how much money I want to spend on an engagement ring. If the ring were the only purchase my decision would be easier. But she and I both have car payments and school debt. Our total debt is about $40k. And this doesn’t begin to cover future expenses of a wedding, house, furniture, kinky toys, etc.

So, how much debt would you be willing to incur for an engagement ring?


Cheers

[edvedr]

Re: How deep in debt would you go for a Diamond

i don't think you should kill yourself. look at what the ring represents i know it sounds cliche but its not how much you spend. put more thought into the way you pop the question. that is what my wife remembers the most. she tells everyone. and i also don't think there is ever a need for more than 1 carat. thats a big diamond and you can get good deals on diamonds that size

[Redstone2]

Re: How deep in debt would you go for a Diamond

Your monthly salary times 2. But at $40k I can see where you're at. So I got no advice other than to say bad finances can tank a relationship. Work out a budget for both of your incomes and expenses, (assume she answers yes ) . Remember you still have to "date" after you are married. Just my 2 cents, your milage may vary.

Redstone

[Slightly Enhanced]

Re: How deep in debt would you go for a Diamond

that is good advice.

While 40k is a lot of debt, at this time it is manageble. The school debt is over many years and at less than 1.5%. The auto debt is also low at less than 3.5%

Very good thought about the location of the proposal. I may be better off taking some of that money and spending it on a very nice night.

Any suggestions of where to purchase the ring?

[Slightly Enhanced]

Re: How deep in debt would you go for a Diamond

So I got no advice other than to say bad finances can tank a relationship.

Redstone

true, most divorces are attributed to finances

[edvedr]

Re: How deep in debt would you go for a Diamond

if you can find a whole saler thats the way to go....thats what i did. ask around to people that may have recently got engaged, someone might know of one. other than that i think a jewelry store is a jewlry store. if you go the store route then check them all. figure out the diamond you want, cut....clarity....color and size. then go to each shop asking for that diamond and see what each store says....you def gotta do your homework or your runnin the chance of gettin ripped off

[edvedr]

Re: How deep in debt would you go for a Diamond

and when it comes to the night, pamper the hell out of her but money is not always what makes it special. i took my wife to a beach. had nice dinner walk on the beach....sat under a palm tree and poped the question....later that night we drank a bottle of our favorite wine. the thing that was special the most to her was that i took the empty bottle, filled it with sand from under that palm tree, put a palm in from the tree and gave her that. thats he favorite thing and she will have it forever i'm sure

[Slightly Enhanced]

Re: How deep in debt would you go for a Diamond

I have just learned that Auriflex has access to a few wholesalers. Lxorl got his from him recently.

Thanks

[edvedr]

Re: How deep in debt would you go for a Diamond

nice...good luck

[pigmeat]

Re: How deep in debt would you go for a Diamond

Monthly salary times 2? I would disagree strongly on that for most young people, especially SE with his situation. 40k debt. WOW! I would try and get that narrowed down substanstially before even thinking of getting married. I dont know what your income is, but it better be in the neighborhood of 100k to hold that kind of debt, and add a new house on top of that.
I have been married for 11 years, and the hardest part has been money. Financial problems will destroy a marriage. Not a good thing to bring into a new marriage.

[FUZO]

Re: How deep in debt would you go for a Diamond

WELL REMEMBER THIS WHEN BUYING A RING.QUALITY= I,SI,VS1.VS2,VVS1,VVS2.
YOU WANT THE COLOR OF THE RING TO BE BETWEEN D,E,F,G.

[Slightly Enhanced]

Re: How deep in debt would you go for a Diamond

Not a good thing to bring into a new marriage.

I agree. I will not be getting married with that much debt. In fact I won't be getting married for at least 16 months. I will be going into the Army sometime early next year. I will have 54 straight weeks of training. So the date will have to be sometime after that.

We have a good plan going so far. In fact 10 months from now that total should be cut in half or more.

Thanks for the concern

[T-Man007]

Re: How deep in debt would you go for a Diamond

You don't need to worry about your total debt but your DTI. Debt to Income. Trust me, I'm in Real Estate and I used to do mortages. The biggest thing lenders look at is your debt vs your income.

For instance, let's say you make 4,000 a month. Most lenders for a home want you to be under 40 to 45% DTI. That means you can only have 1800 in revolving credit and installment notes. This does not include things like cell phone, utilites, groceries, etc. This is stuff like credit cards, student loans, car loans, home loans and any other type of loan.

Don't worry about total, just worry about monthly payment vs your gross monthly income. In other words, your monthly income before taxes. The way banks figure it out is they take your yearly W2's and divide by 12. You need to keep all this in mind before you buy a house.

[BM]

Re: How deep in debt would you go for a Diamond

The general rule of thumb is 3 months salary is what you should spend. I personally say bullshit to that. I would not go into debt to buy a dam ring. I saved up 3K and spent 3K. Were much happier being engaged knowing the only debt we have is the house we bought last year and one of our cars! It's the damn thought that counts not the size and price in my opinion. And I don't agree with the "trading up in the future" theory either. You only ask her one time and there should only be that one ring forever.

[kite]

Re: How deep in debt would you go for a Diamond

That's about what I spent (3k). I know of a couple of guys who got their fiance a ring and she wound up telling them it wasn't big enough. I think she'd get dropped about that time. If my 3 grand ain't enough then I'm not enough.