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Ive spent my whole life in Alabama

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  • Ive spent my whole life in Alabama

    here is what Ive learned thusfar

    Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

    There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Alabama.

    There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Alabama, plus a couple no one's seen before.

    If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.

    Onced and Twiced are words.

    It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.

    And let us never forget, it's not a garden hose or simply hose,
    it's a "hosepipe" (one word).

    Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.

    People actually grow and eat okra.

    Fixinto is one word.

    There ain't no such thing as "lunch". There's only dinner and then
    there's supper.

    Backards and forwards means I know everything about you.

    Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"

    You know you're from Alabama if:

    1. You measure distance in minutes.

    2. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

    3. Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.

    4. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no
    one in it, no matter what time of the year.

    5. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the store.

    6. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit,
    vegetable, grain, insect or animal.

    7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave
    both unlocked.

    8. You carry jumper cables in your car ... for your OWN car.

    9. You know what "cow tipping" is.

    10.. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, chili powder, and
    catsup.

    Ain't no genuine Alabamian ever called it "Catsup". Down
    here it's "Ketchup", ..........and let's not forget peppersauce
    for the turnip greens!

    11.. The local papers cover national and international news on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.

    12.. You think that the first day of deer season is a national
    holiday.

    13. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm."

    14. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.

    15. You know whether another Alabamian is from east, west, or middle Alabama as soon as they open their mouth.

    16. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time known as "going to
    wal-marts."

    17. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather.

    18. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop... it's a
    Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example "What kinna coke you want?"

    19. Fried Catfish is the other white meat.

    20. You dnot need a batry (battery) to crank you car.

    21. You crank your car not start it
    "There is no such thing as big pussies just little dicks. If it is loose just keep packing dick to it."

  • #2
    i might just like alabama. sounds pretty good to me
    "SHIAT BIOTCH, thats a big ass!"

    A clear concience is a sign of a bad memory.

    husband of the year

    moose riding maple syrup drinking flanel wearing canuck wannabe


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    • #3
      THATS WHAT I WANT TO DO LIVE IN ALABAMA OWN A TRAILER HAVE A 15 YR OLD WIFE 10 KIDS ALL THAT CANT READ AND WRITE.SOUNDS LIKE FUN. HEY JACK SHOULD TAKE HIS TRAILER UP THERE AND SE HOW IT IS THERE. THEY HAVE ANY BEACHES OR DO YOU JUST PEE IN THE POOL
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      • #4
        IN 97 U of Alabama asked me to walk on to their team, thanx God I never did I would be weirder now
        three doodoo is back! Hide your women!

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        • #5
          Easy now, thats the Tide your talking about. Thems be fightin words round here.:2gunsfiri :p
          "There is no such thing as big pussies just little dicks. If it is loose just keep packing dick to it."

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