jackin with my wife...

[daved150]

Tweet...we all get protien farts. somedays worse than others, right? so, about a month or 2 ago, i told my youngest son that whenever i fart, when everyones "OH, GROSS" and all that, you just mumble something like..."huh...smells like flowers" or something like that. well, i actually forgot i told him, and the gag reflex of "OH, GROSS" took over most the time with him, but here and there, when he remembered, he'd say "huh...smells like vanilla"..."huh, smells like flowers" and so on. well, sat. we were going to home depot and a silent, deadly one slipped out. my wife and daughter was gagging (didnt help, it was 40degrees out and they didnt want to lower the window all the way) and my son say "huh...smells like bananna's"!!.....MY WIFE WENT OFF THE CHAIN!!!!
"IT DONT SMELL LIKE FLOWERS, VANILLA OR BANNANAS!!!! IT SMELLS LIKE SHYT!!! GOT IT??!! SMELLS LIKE SHYT!!! THATS ALL!! NO COTTON CANDY, NO PERFUME!!! JUST SHYT!!!"
LMFAO!! i almost ran into on coming traffic, i was laffing so hard!!

[kite]

TweetLmao!!! I gas em out pretty bad sometimes at my place too, good story.

[O2BESOHUGE]

TweetNOW THATS FUNNY DAVE!

[Klash]

TweetLOL! Your family sounds fun man!

[daved150]

Tweet

LOL! Your family sounds fun man!

we have a blast bro!!! really, i couldnt imagine spending the amount of time i do with anyone else!!

[Merc]

TweetLMAO!! tahts one funny story bro!

[BIGMOFO]

Tweeti dont fart ya sick bastage

[daved150]

Tweet

i dont fart ya sick bastage

no...i know you dont...chicks toot!

[T-Man007]

TweetLMAO! That's a movie bit right there bro! I'm laughing my ass off just thinking about it.

[daved150]

Tweet

LMAO! That's a movie bit right there bro! I'm laughing my ass off just thinking about it.

oh yea....my lifes a comedy!! i think it was written by the farely brothers!!!

[mtnmedic]

TweetLMAO ! woulda' liked to have been there for that one

[kite]

Tweet

LMAO ! woulda' liked to have been there for that one

So you could smell Dave's anal vapors? You're nasty.

[dixiechick]

TweetMy fiance's has a 6 pound Chihuahua. Her farts can clear a room. I don't know how such a small dog's farts can smell so bad.... death & toilets!

[daved150]

Tweetthis HAS to be shared...
so, after the wife's little melt down and lecture to my 9yr old, that infact, his dad's farts dont smell like flowers or bannana's, and infact, actually do smell like shyt...the joke kinda died out....
friday night we went to buffalo wild wings. in the pocket of the jacket i was wearing, i had one of those bottles of smelling oil. you know, you put it in a bowl thing and light the candle under it and it smells?...anyways...it must have leaked a tad bit...not real bad, but you could smell it. i didnt care. we went in and sat at a table. the waitress comes over and ask's if there's anything we'd like to drink. after my wfie makes her order, the waitress mumbles.."huh...smells like vinilla over hear...my 9yr old says, very matter of factly while looking at the menu, "my dad musta farted"!!!..after the initial look of suprise, the waitress lost it..the table behind and infront of us lost it..my 12yr old daughter lost it...and the wife?...well, she was busy shaking her head with her hands covering her face.
so, i told the waitress..."i'm sorry...it's true...my shyt dont stink...some people BELIEVE their shyt dont stink...but mine actually dont"

[horsepwr]

Tweetno way!..lmao...that is classic! Anyone in listening distance of that will be telling that story this morning.