TweetMrzDiva and I noticed last night that you haven't been around these past few days. She says its probably because Valetines Day is just around the corner and you may be depressed because you don't have anyone to share it with.
So, this is what we decided to do: we pooled our money together and got you this -
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Thats right, my friend. What a stroke of genius, huh. I mean, look at all the advantages:
1. she has never acquired the capacity of speech (what a f'ing bonus)
2. cleans up well. just water and mild detergent and shes good as new again.
3. never objects to ANYTHING you wanna do to her.
4. will never press charges (not like all those real b*tches)
5. no in-laws
6. can be flattened out and rolled up for easy storage in you gym bag or whatever
7. will never complain because you didn't remember her birthday
8. garanteed disease free
9. low maintenance. just put her in a tub of water to find the leaks.
the only two drawbacks i see is that 1) not a good candidate for tattoos, and 2) doesnt respond well to rose thorns, which is good because then you never have to buy her any.
anyway, enjoy, my friend. and remember - there are peeps here who care.
oh yeah, one more thing:
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