Tweet[QUOTE=quirkysmilin;861826]Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply.
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.
QUOTE]

If you give her a house, she'll take it in court.

Just needed to correct that one.

TweetIs this better?
Whatever you give a woman, she’s not going to be thrilled.
If you try to give sperm, she’ll say, "not tonight, I’ve got a headache"
If you give her a house, she’ll say, "do you expect me to live in this dump?"
If you give her groceries, she’ll say, "cook that crap yourself."
If you give her a smile, she’ll say, "what have you done this time?"
She can multiply and enlarge what is given her, if she’s in the mood.
So - if you give her any crap, she’ll keep your name and half your stuff and give the rest to her shyster.

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Originally Posted by quirkysmilin

Is this better?
Whatever you give a woman, she’s not going to be thrilled.
If you try to give sperm, she’ll say, "not tonight, I’ve got a headache"
If you give her a house, she’ll say, "do you expect me to live in this dump?"
If you give her groceries, she’ll say, "cook that crap yourself."
If you give her a smile, she’ll say, "what have you done this time?"
She can multiply and enlarge what is given her, if she’s in the mood.
So - if you give her any crap, she’ll keep your name and half your stuff and give the rest to her shyster.

YOU KNOW MY WIFE??!!