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What a man drinks, and why;)
A recent magazine survey, interviewed fifty bartenders and they were asked if they could identify a customer's personality on what drinks they ordered. Although interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.
If Men Drink (as always, very simple and clear cut):
Cider:
He's probably under-aged and wants to get laid.
Cheap Domestic Beer:
He's poor/student and wants to get laid.
Premium Local Beer:
He likes good beer and wants to get laid.
Imported Beer:
He's old; he likes good beer and wants to get laid.
Guinness:
The man is Irish and will get laid one way or another.
Water:
He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of his mouth so that he can still get laid.
Wine:
He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid.
Vodka or Brandy:
Extremely horny hound would screw a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.
Port:
Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.
Whisky:
He doesn't give two shits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.
Jack Daniels:
Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid.
Rum or Tequila:
Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.
Bacardi Breezer, Red Square, Mikes Hard Lemonade, Smirnoff Ice, etc:
He's gay (blatantly) - don't turn your back or pick up any dropped change, or you will be laid.
If Men Drink (as always, very simple and clear cut):
Cider:
He's probably under-aged and wants to get laid.
Cheap Domestic Beer:
He's poor/student and wants to get laid.
Premium Local Beer:
He likes good beer and wants to get laid.
Imported Beer:
He's old; he likes good beer and wants to get laid.
Guinness:
The man is Irish and will get laid one way or another.
Water:
He just threw up and is trying to wash the taste out of his mouth so that he can still get laid.
Wine:
He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid.
Vodka or Brandy:
Extremely horny hound would screw a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.
Port:
Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.
Whisky:
He doesn't give two shits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.
Jack Daniels:
Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid.
Rum or Tequila:
Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.
Bacardi Breezer, Red Square, Mikes Hard Lemonade, Smirnoff Ice, etc:
He's gay (blatantly) - don't turn your back or pick up any dropped change, or you will be laid.
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