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>>A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly
>>>speak.
>>>
>>>After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
>>>
>>>The monsignor replied, ³ When I am worried about getting nervous
>>>
>>>On the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass.
>>>
>>>If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.²
>>>
>>>So next Sunday he took the monsignorıs advice.
>>>
>>>At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
>>>
>>>He proceeded to talk up a storm.
>>>
>>>Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the
>>>following note on
>>>the door:
>>>Sip the vodka, donıt gulp.
>>>There are 10 commandments, not 12.
>>>There are 12 disciples, not 10.
>>>Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
>>>Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
>>>We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
>>>The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy,
>>>Junior and the
>>>spook.
>>>David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
>>>When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, donıt
>>>say he
>>>was
>>>stoned off his ass.
>>>We do not refer to the cross as the ³Big T.²
>>>When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, ³take this
>>>and eat it
>>>for it is my body.² He did not say ³ Eat me² .
>>>The Virgin Mary is not called ³ Mary with the Cherry,.
>>>The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks
>>>for the
>>>grub,
>>>Yeah God.
>>>Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at ST.Peterıs not
>>>a peter
>>>pulling contest at St. Taffyıs.
>>>speak.
>>>
>>>After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
>>>
>>>The monsignor replied, ³ When I am worried about getting nervous
>>>
>>>On the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass.
>>>
>>>If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.²
>>>
>>>So next Sunday he took the monsignorıs advice.
>>>
>>>At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
>>>
>>>He proceeded to talk up a storm.
>>>
>>>Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the
>>>following note on
>>>the door:
>>>Sip the vodka, donıt gulp.
>>>There are 10 commandments, not 12.
>>>There are 12 disciples, not 10.
>>>Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
>>>Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
>>>We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
>>>The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy,
>>>Junior and the
>>>spook.
>>>David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
>>>When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, donıt
>>>say he
>>>was
>>>stoned off his ass.
>>>We do not refer to the cross as the ³Big T.²
>>>When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, ³take this
>>>and eat it
>>>for it is my body.² He did not say ³ Eat me² .
>>>The Virgin Mary is not called ³ Mary with the Cherry,.
>>>The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks
>>>for the
>>>grub,
>>>Yeah God.
>>>Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at ST.Peterıs not
>>>a peter
>>>pulling contest at St. Taffyıs.
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