Family Issues need some advice

[adwal99]

Guys I needed to let loose. I had an amazing time and I have a lot of thinking to do. I am ready to move in with my life she is just too crazy. I will def feel bad making this my decision since she barely makes any money but I just can't afford the life style she wants to live and the emotional abuse. I met this cool ass chick there that has her own business and she is doing great. Plus she is so nice it makes my decision even easier. I just have to plan this out now

[Auriflex]

Glad you had a good time. There's something to be said for moving on and being by yourself for a while if that's the direction you think is best. But you know your wants and needs far better than anyone else could. Good luck, and through this potentially guilt ridden and life changing decision, take the courteous road in all your dealings with your wife. It helps I think.

[daved150]

Re: Family Issues need some advice

huh...i'd almost convince her to let me set up a camara. video tape a couple days and play it back so you both can see what YOU do wrong...tell her you dont understand what you do, but if you could see it from an outside perspective, maybe you could fix it...then...maybe when she see's it, she can fix her...other than that bro...mariage councler or pull the plug. my daughter would not ever grow up in that atmosphere.... if it was my wife...she's gonna get fixed or get gone. sorry to be blunt, but...thats un called for. maybe if she NEW....she'd stop. but thats a tuff spot your in...i'm sorry brother.

[Michelle Hayden]

Re: Family Issues need some advice

lol She NEEDS to get her hormones check...I knew a woman that had the same exact issues. Didnt want sex, treated her husband like dirt, the sight of him even. She went to her obgyn and they did a full hormone check..estrogen, t-1/t-2, cortisone, test etc..Come to find out her estrogen was low and her thyroid was off..Went on HRT for a month and now she is totally a different person..Hormones if they are off can cause this..It is not an excuse if they are off, but at least if you find out they are good, you will know it isnt that. Isnt it worth your marriage?? Instead of complaining ask her if she could go, but talk to her about her actions..Maybe like Daved said, get a video of her of tape her..so you can show her if she denies it. You shouldnt have to put up with this, but if it is a chemical imbalance then it really isnt her fault.

[MrzDiva]

Re: Family Issues need some advice

I agree with the ladies on the hormonal part. Aside from that its ultimately your decision Adwal.

Mom always told me that when you get married it is a huge responsability and you should try your best to do whatever options are out there available to you to try to save the marriage. But when you have exhausted everything you could do, then there is nothing left to try. The marriage has come to an end. It happens alot. Whatever the issue might be that is causing the issues in the marriage, it isn't "fixable" ( I don't know if I'm using the right term or not ) anymore.

Children are smarter then we think. They can always feel the tension in the home. You might think that you and your spouse are hiding the arguments or fighting, but they can feel it. Not only that, when you think your children are in bed sleeping , they can hear it. They know mom and dad aren't happy anymore and at times they blame themselves for it.

Sometimes its best to just separate and find your own paths now. Imagine how peaceful you, her, and the kids are going to be. Not to mention how much more stress free your going to be. As far as her being materialistic, she will just have to learn to be on a budget. Your responsability is your children, not her. So as long as your kids have what they need, then thats all that matters.

[adwal99]

Re: Family Issues need some advice

MrsDiva that is amazing advice and I can definitely agree with you 100%. We decided to take a break however we still are living together so we'll see how that works out. Since we decided to take a break the weight immediately has been lifted off my shoulders. (so far).

[adwal99]

Re: Family Issues need some advice

lol She NEEDS to get her hormones check...I knew a woman that had the same exact issues. Didnt want sex, treated her husband like dirt, the sight of him even. She went to her obgyn and they did a full hormone check..estrogen, t-1/t-2, cortisone, test etc..Come to find out her estrogen was low and her thyroid was off..Went on HRT for a month and now she is totally a different person..Hormones if they are off can cause this..It is not an excuse if they are off, but at least if you find out they are good, you will know it isnt that. Isnt it worth your marriage?? Instead of complaining ask her if she could go, but talk to her about her actions..Maybe like Daved said, get a video of her of tape her..so you can show her if she denies it. You shouldnt have to put up with this, but if it is a chemical imbalance then it really isnt her fault.

Interesting you say that. She has been complaining of breaking out in underground acne lately and says she is extremely oily. I wonder if her hormones are out of wack and is also causing that.

[MrzDiva]

Re: Family Issues need some advice

MrsDiva that is amazing advice and I can definitely agree with you 100%. We decided to take a break however we still are living together so we'll see how that works out. Since we decided to take a break the weight immediately has been lifted off my shoulders. (so far).

I'm glad to hear that there are still options your wife and you are willing to try. When you love someone so much and you share beautiful children together, it is worth trying as much as you can . If anything, this makes the marriage stronger once you work things out together.

[BABY1]

Re: Family Issues need some advice

Diva is right. Marriage is hard work but BOTH of you have to want to work at it. It is good you had fun when you went away but in my opinion, bringing another girl into thi situation is the worst thing you can do. Resist temptation until you are not married anymore.

[tn94z]

Re: Family Issues need some advice

I have been through quite a bit of this as well...some may remember me making a few threads along these same lines, so here is my .02....

Situations like this are very tough because you are doing everything you can to make them happy and yet you feel a lot of resentment and can't figure out why. They are the only ones that know why they act like they do....but here is the tricky part....sometimes they can't even explain it. It sounds like you guys have decided on some things, so the initial advice I was going to give is a moot point now.

Now it all comes down to you guys deciding to fix it or move on. I couldn't imagine having to go through this with a kid involved. But like everyone else has stated, no one really deserves to be treated like this. And even from the hormone perspective, she is not so completely out of balance that she doesn't realize that she is treating you this way. If this was truly out of her control, she would know something is messed up and want to find out and fix whatever it is. It sounds like she is very selfish and needs to grow up a little (no ill intentions there my man). With that being said, if she doesn't want to do what needs to be done (counseling for example), then it would probably be in both of your best interest too move on and be happy. Life is too short for unnecessary stress.

[adwal99]

Re: Family Issues need some advice

Guys honestly after spending 2 days with this chick down in Miami i've learned a lot about what i want and what i don't want. You know how you feel like your in that comfortable state no matter if its happy or sad but since you live with that person for so long you are just accepting of it. I was that way for so long and didn't want to start over. Being away this weekend has made me realize that life is too short and there is something that is going to make you happy. if she can't provide that someone else can. thats where i'm at right now.

she is being selfish once again. She is going to chicago this weekend (2 days) with her friends and came to me and is like I need $100. it's only fair since you were in miami, and i'm like no i'm not giving you 100 thats crazy. only because i bought her $450 frye boots, i spend over $250 on her at victoria secret, $80 swimsuit top, $60 dress, plus i'm paying for all her shit like come the **** on already. she is just a gold digger and its draining my account.

this chick i met in miami cooks, cleans, has her own business has her own money, actually cares about me and wants to spend time with me. See where i'm at? This girl has it going for her and my current wife is a ****ing basket case. i'm so over it

[rnixon]

Guys honestly after spending 2 days with this chick down in Miami i've learned a lot about what i want and what i don't want. You know how you feel like your in that comfortable state no matter if its happy or sad but since you live with that person for so long you are just accepting of it. I was that way for so long and didn't want to start over. Being away this weekend has made me realize that life is too short and there is something that is going to make you happy. if she can't provide that someone else can. thats where i'm at right now.

she is being selfish once again. She is going to chicago this weekend (2 days) with her friends and came to me and is like I need $100. it's only fair since you were in miami, and i'm like no i'm not giving you 100 thats crazy. only because i bought her $450 frye boots, i spend over $250 on her at victoria secret, $80 swimsuit top, $60 dress, plus i'm paying for all her shit like come the **** on already. she is just a gold digger and its draining my account.

this chick i met in miami cooks, cleans, has her own business has her own money, actually cares about me and wants to spend time with me. See where i'm at? This girl has it going for her and my current wife is a ****ing basket case. i'm so over it

You gotta be happy. Good luck man! There are some wicked women out there!

[BABY1]

Re: Family Issues need some advice

Sounds like you did some soul searching when you were gone and that is good. Maybe you really have come to a conclusion of what you don't want but 2 days with a girl is hardly enough to know anything about her. That may have been what you needed to see things more clearly. For one thing, stop buying your wife all of those things. It is time to say no!

[adwal99]

Ya I'm not going to anymore.. I want to get rid of her car too! I think I need to talk to a lawyer.

[Auriflex]

this chick i met in miami cooks, cleans, has her own business has her own money, actually cares about me and wants to spend time with me. See where i'm at? This girl has it going for her and my current wife is a ****ing basket case. i'm so over it

Are you sure you don't already know this girl?