Help:Female friend calls me at work today..

[Dzone]

...This is a female friend Ive known for about 4 years. She calls me today and tells me her car got repossessed and said "Im really very embarrassed to ask you, but I got my car repossessed from my work parking lot because my bank account got compromised and they stole money out of my account so her car payment bounced Blah blah blah...My boyfriend is unemployed and my parents cant send me money for 2 weeks, could you lend me (several hundred dollars)" She then sends me her bank account # and addresses to all the bank branches and asks me to deposit the money into her account.
Anyway, I am stressed about this, because I am a nice guy, and I want to be able to help people whenever I can but I am now feeling guilty if I dont lend her the money. I have done this exact thing before for someone and got burned for a $1,000 and of course the friendship ended...Damn...I have enough stress in my life right now, I dont need to be stressing about another "friend" burning me. Ugh...

I think it takes some real cojones to call a casual friend at his work and ask for money because Your car got repo'd. I told my GF and she is throwing a conniption fit, needless to say...LOL.."Dont you dare give her that money!!!" lol
Besides that, this bit about her bouncing a check and causing her to get repo'd sounds fishy to me. Im pretty sure you have to miss at least 3 payments before they send the repo man. Aint that right?
Anyway, what would you guys do in this situation??? Thank you for your perspective. I dont need to be stressing about this kinda crap. It is very hard for me to be hard hearted, but sometimes I wish I could be...Thanks.

[BABY1]

Re: Help:Female friend calls me at work today..

I would not do it! I am also a very giving person but if you are at all hesitant, don't do it. You are not a bad person if you don't. It does sound a bit fishy as you said. She may have called others with the same story and then she'll end up with more than she says she needs.

[bowbow]

Re: Help:Female friend calls me at work today..

I,ll keep it short. Don,t do it.

[Dzone]

Re: Help:Female friend calls me at work today..

Thank you for your feedback. It helps to get confirmation from you guys. I appreciate it. Thats the way I am leaning. I was shocked when she called me at work asking me for money. Very bizarre. I mean, she has a boyfriend who is unemployed so she calls me for money. Weird.
She sent me an email saying she hopes this doesn't jeopardize our friendship and hopes I dont think bad of her.
Well, I remember now a couple years ago when she was unemployed and I sent her a gift card to feed her and her daughter. She didnt ask me back then, I just sent it to her because I felt sorry for her. Also, I have never had any romantic relationship with this girl.

[alluprbdy]

Re: Help:Female friend calls me at work today..

I lend money to friends and family on a routine basis, and I've been burned as well. This is my piece of advice only lend money to people that you wont mind not getting back. That's what I follow, if I lend my best friend $300 and they fall on hard times and cant pay me back its not the end of the world. Now if I were lending to someone in the familiy or a friend I'm not super close with and I dont get paid we have a problem. I always get paid back by my best friends but I only lend to people that I wouldnt be pissed if they couuldnt pay me back now.

[Dzone]

Re: Help:Female friend calls me at work today..

I lend money to friends and family on a routine basis, and I've been burned as well. This is my piece of advice only lend money to people that you wont mind not getting back. That's what I follow, if I lend my best friend $300 and they fall on hard times and cant pay me back its not the end of the world. Now if I were lending to someone in the familiy or a friend I'm not super close with and I dont get paid we have a problem. I always get paid back by my best friends but I only lend to people that I wouldnt be pissed if they couuldnt pay me back now.

Thanks aprrdy. I totally can see your point. I value my friendship with her, but I do think it would bug me if she didnt pay me back.
I think the whole story about her bank account getting stolen, then she sends me a vague email saying "You should hear back from me in a couple weeks". Not very reassuring. I dont know. I have a big presentation to give tomorrow, which begs for my attention. I need to put this out of my mind, but I aint gonna lie, I do feel bad that I havent given her the money. I value loyalty and friendship. If she needed me to talk to for 4 hours, I would be there in a heartbeat.
Are we that close? Not really. Thats why I was shocked when she called my office today.
I dont know, I cant imagine asking a friend for money like that. I would be calling a cab or taking a bus to work until I had the money together to get my car back.
I have had people tell me my biggest weakness is that I am too nice. I cant help it. Especially because I know what it is like to go through hardship and pain. Havent we all?

[alluprbdy]

Re: Help:Female friend calls me at work today..

ya bro doesn't sound like you should lend it IMO. if she doesn't pay the friendship is gone and if you don't lend she won't be pissed as I'm sure she doesn't expect it.

[TheChosen1]

Re: Help:Female friend calls me at work today..

It sounds conning to me. Just tell that you have a joint account with your gf and can't do it. But if you give in, make her sign a nortorized promissory note.

[Dzone]

Re: Help:Female friend calls me at work today..

I appreciate the feedback on this. The part that is making me say NO is her boyfriend being unemployed but they always go out for beer on friday night, etc etc.. She must be paying this guys way, and now that she has no money left. she is coming to me to get her out of it.
I dont want to be selfish about it either. I wish that my condition was such that I could give her all the money she needed and say "dont bother paying me back. Good luck!"
Her boyfriend needs to man up and help her out of the hole he probably helped put her in.

[daved150]

Re: Help:Female friend calls me at work today..

hey D...most cases it takes MORE than 3 payments. you get 3 payment behind, blow off their phone calls and play games? then, yes, 90 days and they START to look for the car...it probboly will be atleast another couple weeks before a repo man gets to it. you TALK to the bank and try to do something? then, like with a house, they'll try to work with you. not quite as well as with a house, but they dont want the fukin car!!! she's full of shyt bro....if this is a friend loss, good-bye!!!

[badcompany487]

Re: Help:Female friend calls me at work today..

Yea cars don't get repossessed after 1 payment it takes a while of non payment

[Dzone]

Re: Help:Female friend calls me at work today..

hey D...most cases it takes MORE than 3 payments. you get 3 payment behind, blow off their phone calls and play games? then, yes, 90 days and they START to look for the car...it probboly will be atleast another couple weeks before a repo man gets to it. you TALK to the bank and try to do something? then, like with a house, they'll try to work with you. not quite as well as with a house, but they dont want the fukin car!!! she's full of shyt bro....if this is a friend loss, good-bye!!!

Thanks bro. I was pretty sure it was something like that.Sad but true. She tried to make it sound like it wasnt her fault, like she was a victim, that they repo'd her car because of 1 missed payment. I need to quit feeling bad about it.

[Doink the clown]

Re: Help:Female friend calls me at work today..

You have a right to say no,period. And why would she want money in her bank account thats been compromised.boyfriend unemployed?..this is his job to fix.

[tn94z]

Re: Help:Female friend calls me at work today..

I would have to say no as well. That seems like a situation that would cause WAY too many problems!

[XtremeNutrition]

Re: Help:Female friend calls me at work today..

I would so no to depositing money into her account. However if she is in need of help then say can't we go down to said car lot and let me pay to get your car. That's one thing. But to me it sounds like she has made many bad decisions. Also when you give money like that you do just that. Give without the thought of getting it back cause a lot of people never repays friends or family. Believe me I 'm the giving type. Started helping without money and the phone calls go away. Offer to go buy some food for her, go get her car, whatever. Don't give cash...