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Jamey Rodemeyer of Buffalo, N.Y., is the latest victim in a string of teen suicides linked to bullying. What can you do to keep your kids from being bullied or bullying others?
By Allison Takeda
September 22, 2011 — Five months ago, 14-year-old Jamey Rodemeyer recorded a video urging teens to stay strong in the face of bullying. On Sunday, just days before the second annual Federal Partners in Bullying Prevention Summit in Washington, D.C., he was found dead of an apparent suicide outside his home in Buffalo.
A freshman at Williamsville North High School, Jamey had endured years of abuse from both classmates and anonymous Internet tormentors, mostly questioning his sexuality. But he had recently been seeking help from both a therapist and a social worker, and though the bullying hadn’t stopped, he was trying to rise above it.
In May, he posted a YouTube message for the It Gets Better project, a worldwide movement to reassure troubled and potentially suicidal lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) youth that there’s life beyond bullying. In the video, Jamey encouraged his peers to be hopeful and confident in their identities. “We were born this way,” he said. “All you have to do is put your head up — put your head up and you’ll go far…. I promise you, it will get better.”
In Jamey’s case, however, it seemed to just get worse. Comments on his Formspring account, a social-media site that allows anonymous postings, called him “STUPID, GAY, FAT ANND [sic] UGLY” and even encouraged him to take his own life: “I wouldn’t care if you died. No one would. So just do it
It would make everyone WAY more happier!”
A Bullying Epidemic?
Jamey’s death is the latest in a disturbing trend of suicides among kids and teens who have been bullied and feel there’s no other way out. In 2010, Rutgers freshman Tyler Clementi jumped off a bridge after his roommate posted a video of him in an intimate situation with another man. And earlier that year, 15-year-old Phoebe Prince hanged herself from a stairwell after months of relentless taunting and physical threats from classmates.
These and other similar tragedies have brought national attention to what some call a bullying epidemic. According to recent data from the National Center for Educational Statistics, 70 percent of students are affected by bullying, whether as a bully, a victim, or a witness. Other research shows that one in five kids has been the target of hateful or hurtful behavior either in school or online. And a study published in the American Journal of Psychiatry suggested that bullying victims may be more than twice as likely to develop psychotic symptoms (such as delusions or paranoia) as kids who aren’t abused by their peers.
The effects are particularly profound among LGBT youth. A survey by the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network found that 9 in 10 LGBT students had been bullied in school over the previous year. And in a study published earlier this year in the journal Pediatrics, researchers concluded that gay and bisexual teens in general were significantly more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers (21.5 percent, compared with 4.2 percent). This was true even among students who were not depressed — although rates were higher among those who reported being victimized by their peers.
“Jamey’s suicide is a tragic reminder of the vulnerability of gay teens,” Malcolm Lazin, founder and executive director of the LGBT civil rights-themed Equality Forum, told recently told ABC News. “They are bullied and marginalized,” he said. “While some may say that Jamey took his life, it is unrelenting homophobia that murdered him.”
A Call to Action Against Bullying
In the wake of Jamey’s death, longtime LGBT advocate Lady Gaga — one of Jamey’s favorite artists, whom he quoted repeatedly on his Facebook page — recently tweeted her grief and vowed to “make a law for Jamey.” “Bullying must become illegal. It is a hate crime,” she recently wrote. “I am meeting with our President. I will not stop fighting.”
She’s not the only big name to throw her weight behind the issue. The It Gets Better project now boasts videos from President Obama, Hillary Clinton, Chris Colfer, Ke$ha, the cast of True Blood, and Stephen Colbert, among others. And according to the U.S. Department of Education, which this week hosted the second-annual federal summit on bullying prevention, summit participants ABC Family, the Ad Council, AOL, Facebook, Formspring, MIT, MTV, Sesame Street, Seventeen magazine, and TimeWarner have all committed to raising awareness “for children, parents, and youth service providers through targeted programming and dedicated anti-bullying campaigns.”
Government anti-bullying efforts — on the local, state, and federal levels — have included national “webinars” on topics such as when bullying constitutes discriminatory harassment and how to constructively intervene in bullying situations. There are even efforts underway by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention to develop a uniform definition of bullying.
“Bullying affects not only the child or children it targets, but the entire community that surrounds them — their parents, their classmates, even the child engaging in the bullying,” said U.S. Education Secretary Arne Duncan at the summit. “Keeping our children safe is everyone’s responsibility, and I’m proud to come together with so many national leaders, parents, teachers, and students to reaffirm our collective commitment to prevent bullying in every way possible.”
Help for Parents of Bullied Kids — and of Kids Who Are Bullies
Your child may not want to talk to you about bullying, but there are certain telltale signs that may indicate that he or she is a victim or an aggressor. Among the signs that a child is being bullied: reluctance to go to school, repeated loss of possessions or money, evidence of a scuffle, loss of self-esteem, and depression. Behaviors that suggest your child is the bully and not the bullied include trouble sleeping, a history of discipline problems, aggressive friends, and an obsession with popularity.
If you suspect your child is involved in bullying (in any role), discuss the situation as a family and seek help from school officials and teachers.
“None of us can confront this alone,” said Secretary Duncan. “When we stand together, we can address bullying and fight the hatred, bigotry, and fear that divide us. Our children deserve a chance. We must support them.”
By Allison Takeda
September 22, 2011 — Five months ago, 14-year-old Jamey Rodemeyer recorded a video urging teens to stay strong in the face of bullying. On Sunday, just days before the second annual Federal Partners in Bullying Prevention Summit in Washington, D.C., he was found dead of an apparent suicide outside his home in Buffalo.
A freshman at Williamsville North High School, Jamey had endured years of abuse from both classmates and anonymous Internet tormentors, mostly questioning his sexuality. But he had recently been seeking help from both a therapist and a social worker, and though the bullying hadn’t stopped, he was trying to rise above it.
In May, he posted a YouTube message for the It Gets Better project, a worldwide movement to reassure troubled and potentially suicidal lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) youth that there’s life beyond bullying. In the video, Jamey encouraged his peers to be hopeful and confident in their identities. “We were born this way,” he said. “All you have to do is put your head up — put your head up and you’ll go far…. I promise you, it will get better.”
In Jamey’s case, however, it seemed to just get worse. Comments on his Formspring account, a social-media site that allows anonymous postings, called him “STUPID, GAY, FAT ANND [sic] UGLY” and even encouraged him to take his own life: “I wouldn’t care if you died. No one would. So just do it
It would make everyone WAY more happier!”A Bullying Epidemic?
Jamey’s death is the latest in a disturbing trend of suicides among kids and teens who have been bullied and feel there’s no other way out. In 2010, Rutgers freshman Tyler Clementi jumped off a bridge after his roommate posted a video of him in an intimate situation with another man. And earlier that year, 15-year-old Phoebe Prince hanged herself from a stairwell after months of relentless taunting and physical threats from classmates.
These and other similar tragedies have brought national attention to what some call a bullying epidemic. According to recent data from the National Center for Educational Statistics, 70 percent of students are affected by bullying, whether as a bully, a victim, or a witness. Other research shows that one in five kids has been the target of hateful or hurtful behavior either in school or online. And a study published in the American Journal of Psychiatry suggested that bullying victims may be more than twice as likely to develop psychotic symptoms (such as delusions or paranoia) as kids who aren’t abused by their peers.
The effects are particularly profound among LGBT youth. A survey by the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network found that 9 in 10 LGBT students had been bullied in school over the previous year. And in a study published earlier this year in the journal Pediatrics, researchers concluded that gay and bisexual teens in general were significantly more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers (21.5 percent, compared with 4.2 percent). This was true even among students who were not depressed — although rates were higher among those who reported being victimized by their peers.
“Jamey’s suicide is a tragic reminder of the vulnerability of gay teens,” Malcolm Lazin, founder and executive director of the LGBT civil rights-themed Equality Forum, told recently told ABC News. “They are bullied and marginalized,” he said. “While some may say that Jamey took his life, it is unrelenting homophobia that murdered him.”
A Call to Action Against Bullying
In the wake of Jamey’s death, longtime LGBT advocate Lady Gaga — one of Jamey’s favorite artists, whom he quoted repeatedly on his Facebook page — recently tweeted her grief and vowed to “make a law for Jamey.” “Bullying must become illegal. It is a hate crime,” she recently wrote. “I am meeting with our President. I will not stop fighting.”
She’s not the only big name to throw her weight behind the issue. The It Gets Better project now boasts videos from President Obama, Hillary Clinton, Chris Colfer, Ke$ha, the cast of True Blood, and Stephen Colbert, among others. And according to the U.S. Department of Education, which this week hosted the second-annual federal summit on bullying prevention, summit participants ABC Family, the Ad Council, AOL, Facebook, Formspring, MIT, MTV, Sesame Street, Seventeen magazine, and TimeWarner have all committed to raising awareness “for children, parents, and youth service providers through targeted programming and dedicated anti-bullying campaigns.”
Government anti-bullying efforts — on the local, state, and federal levels — have included national “webinars” on topics such as when bullying constitutes discriminatory harassment and how to constructively intervene in bullying situations. There are even efforts underway by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention to develop a uniform definition of bullying.
“Bullying affects not only the child or children it targets, but the entire community that surrounds them — their parents, their classmates, even the child engaging in the bullying,” said U.S. Education Secretary Arne Duncan at the summit. “Keeping our children safe is everyone’s responsibility, and I’m proud to come together with so many national leaders, parents, teachers, and students to reaffirm our collective commitment to prevent bullying in every way possible.”
Help for Parents of Bullied Kids — and of Kids Who Are Bullies
Your child may not want to talk to you about bullying, but there are certain telltale signs that may indicate that he or she is a victim or an aggressor. Among the signs that a child is being bullied: reluctance to go to school, repeated loss of possessions or money, evidence of a scuffle, loss of self-esteem, and depression. Behaviors that suggest your child is the bully and not the bullied include trouble sleeping, a history of discipline problems, aggressive friends, and an obsession with popularity.
If you suspect your child is involved in bullying (in any role), discuss the situation as a family and seek help from school officials and teachers.
“None of us can confront this alone,” said Secretary Duncan. “When we stand together, we can address bullying and fight the hatred, bigotry, and fear that divide us. Our children deserve a chance. We must support them.”
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