need to vent a little and maybe some help

[jamescb77]

Well guys i had a pretty bad weekend. Let me give you guys a little back ground on me and where im at right now. I work on the road been in the same spot for the last 2 years so kinda like home but not really. My gf is 6 hours away and it makes it a little hard to see her all the time with her being busy and everything. Now to go a little deeper. In the past i have been cheated on by 2 different gf's. One of which i really gave a lot of trust to cause i was in texas and she was elsewhere. She cheated on me with multiple guys and really changed the way i can trust someone and that sort of thing. Everythign has been going really well with me and my current gf until this weekend. I didn't go home sat because she said she was going to be really busy this weekend and didn't want me to drive and not be able to see her. Well on sat she ended up being free most the day and i let me jealousy get the best of me. I told her that i felt like she had lied to me about how busy she actually was going to be and it escalated a little from there. She has never given me a reason to doubt her. Well the day went on and finally that night we talked a little more about it. She said she didn't know if she can keep doing this. This really blew me away. I knew a fight wasn't good but i didn't think it would come to this. She said it crushed her that i woudl think that she lied and that i woudl think she didn't want me to come visit. We talked a little more but nothing got fixed. She says she needs to figure out whats going on and she isn't trying to giv eup or throw anything away just doesn't know if she can keep doing this. I have been doing a lot of thinking and have told her that i am going to put the past behind me and how sorry i was for treating her like that because she isn't those people and doesn't deserve to be put in a category with them. Over the last two days she will usually respond to me but it's a very short response she will tell me she loves and that she does miss me but pretty much nothing else. I really don't know what to do here. I thought this girl was the one. I still do. I can't see myself with anyone else and she is absolutely amazing to me. I really just need to vent and maybe some advice from people would be good. IDK this just really has me messed up in a bad way

[daved150]

Re: need to vent a little and maybe some help

i think your handling it the best you can right now...just re-asure her that you do realize that she's not these other girls, you are sorry and you want to move past this a fast as possible and move on with both your lives together...thats it bro...the reat is up to her. dont push her, just make sure she knows your there...thats all you can do

[Dzone]

Re: need to vent a little and maybe some help

Hey james, I can sure understand what youre going through. sorry to hear that. You said everything was good up until this weekend? Are you saying that you didnt see her this past weekend but talked on the phone? From what you said, sounds like you did everything you could have done by apologizing for overreacting and being jealous based on past experiences..Venting on here is a good thing bro. Hope it all works out buddy. I am sure it will. I dont want to give out any advice without knowing the full situation. My advice might suck anyway..LOL.But like I said, you can vent here and get some feedback from your friends on here. This is probably just a little bump in the road and things will get back to normal between the two of you real soon...Good luck james. Hang in there and Keep us posted on how youre doing. D

[jamescb77]

Re: need to vent a little and maybe some help

Yea i did not see her this last weekend D. We talk mostly threw text messages with some phone calls at night. Usually works out pretty good. When i sent the first message about being upset about the situtation i looked at it probably 10 times before i sent it wondering do i really wanna have this fight. If i would have known it was going to come to this i would have hit delete and bit my damn tongue.

[trip]

Re: need to vent a little and maybe some help

bro, that cheating thing sucks, but it sounds like your mostly over it, good for you

listen in long term relationships, shit happens, people have bad days and say shit they normally wouldn't, jeeze if u can't be an ass to the one u love at times, rarely obviously, who can u be, lot's of times we blow off steam with the ones we love because it is safe to do so

if something is a one off and not a patterm than it's a one off, my best guess would be it will be forgotten after seeing her in person a few times

we all act like assholes sometimes, no one is perfect

as for her, she might just be having a bad month

hope that helps

[jamescb77]

Re: need to vent a little and maybe some help

thanks guys. I have arranged to have some flowers delivered to her pracitce tonight. I got her favorite flowers mixed with roses. Im hoping it says im sorry i messed up and i love you all in one and in front of everyone lets her show everyone else how sweet and a great guy she has. I also think im going to make a run home this weekend even though i have had plans for almost 2 months it's nothing that i can't do later on and she is my priority and i want to show her that. Im hoping that maybe by the end of the weekend things will be a lot smoother as i am a wreck her and i need something to get better.

[Waterboy]

Re: need to vent a little and maybe some help

The flowers were are a good touch. I think maybe a surprise visit to let her know how you realy feel about her would do wonders for both of you.

[Testify]

Re: need to vent a little and maybe some help

Yeah, you definitely f*cked up there, James . . . I understand why you would feel the way you do though - and her reaction as well. But I think she is making you sweat right now. If she wanted to leave you, she probably would have done so already. If you want to save this relationship, I think you can - the flowers were good, as someone else said. Also, I know you can't help it, but I think the biggest problem is always going to be the traveling that your job requires. That will always put a strain on your relationship, and if you eventually make "the commitment," the stress will be magnified. Its a hard thing to always be separated from your girlfriend/boyfriend or husband/wife, and I think it is harder for women. This is going to be hard to fix and maintain, and it may get harder for you two as you move forward in this relationship . . . but if she is worth it, then you have to try to make it work, right? It may not always be a bed of roses, but where there is a will there is a way.

[jamescb77]

Re: need to vent a little and maybe some help

well guys heres a little update. She got the flowers and from what i heard from others they were amazing. Not that i can really take credit for that but i did know what i was ordering lol. We talked for about 5-10 min last night. Nothing much was said but it does seem like maybe things are looking up. Im going home this weekend to see her and i hope that we can start putting this behind us soon. Ill try and keep you guys updated. im suprised i have got no responses from any of the ladies on the forum.

[trip]

Re: need to vent a little and maybe some help

wish u the best

[Michelle Hayden]

Re: need to vent a little and maybe some help

James, did you happen to find out what was she so busy about and all of a sudden her day was cleared? If so, why didnt she call you to come? Hard to figure out another woman without know a bit more about her.

[jamescb77]

Re: need to vent a little and maybe some help

she was busy with practice getting ready for school and a few other things. She is a senior in college and her coach told her to keep her schedule open for the entire weekend so i guess she assumed they were gonna be a little busier than they were. I live 6 hours away so even if she would have called it's not like i can just swing over and stop in. After thinking about it i do think i was about 90% in the wrong but she also holds some of the fault.

[skinnyman]

Re: need to vent a little and maybe some help

Hey James I think we've all been in situations where "trust" was compromised. Reaction to that is probably different for many people. Personally, and I know its not a good thing, the worst case scenario runs through my mind and I let my emotions get the best of me and things got worse. Looking back, I should have let things run their course and not smother her. You are handling it well. Keep us posted

[Dzone]

Re: need to vent a little and maybe some help

James Hope things are working out for the best...

[BABY1]

Re: need to vent a little and maybe some help

Sorry I missed this! It has been hectic around here with starting school.

Anyway, it sounds like things are heading in the right direction for you. It has to be hard, as it is, to be so far apart. Like skinnyman said, "I think we've all been in situations where "trust" was compromised". I think this is true and it can take time to rebuild that trust again, depending upon what the issue was. As I am sure you know, it is so important to communicate.