MY 6YR OLD

[FUZO]

WAS WATCHING HANNHA MONTANA AND THE GRANDAMA DIED OR SOMETHING AND THEN ALL THE SUDDEN SHE COMES RUNNING INTO THE ROOM TO ME CRYING AND I ASK WHATS WRONG AND SHE SAYS DADDY I DONT WANT TO DIE. JUST GREAT NOW SHE'S AT THE AGE WHERE SHE KNOWS WHATS UP ABOUT DEATH. I WAS 10 BEFORE I STARTED TO FREAK OUT SHE'S 6

[horsepwr]

Re: MY 6YR OLD

yeah, man. I feel ya on that. I went through that with mine as well. She had to deal with that realization a few years earlier, so it made it difficult to explain things to her so that she could digest the whole death thing easier. I just had to really get her to not worry about it. I just told her that she doesn't have to worry about that, because at the age she was wrestling with it, she didn't have any need for concern regardless. She's 5 now. She'll be 6 in Nov. But she's had a very good understanding of death for a good year, or so, now. She was just kinda forced to deal with it once, I think you know what I'm talking about. So that was tough at 3yrs old. Then, having a dog die, and seeing shyt like that on tv, she had her concerns. She has a good grip on it now though. She's just like most reasonable folks about it. She understands it.
I was always as truthful as I could be with her, and tried to explain things on her level. I wanted to take the reins. I wanted to be the one to break my daughter's mind into that major issue. She's okay with a good understanding of the inevitable now. We're over the crying, and worrying. It just takes serious attention and explanation. Just because they're so young, doesn't mean it's not a big deal to them. Well, you witnessed how upset the thought of it made her.

Now we're dealing with the whole Jesus and God thing.

My daughter already knows, very well, about drugs and the dangers involved. She knows well about the threats of the world. e.g. bad-guys(kidnappers, theives, etc...) I've been teaching her about that stuff since she could communicate.

I have chosen not to shelter my daughter. I'm not gonna let her watch Devil's Rejects, but I'm not gonna give her a false belief that the world is a safe place. Her choices will be the deciding factor of how safe her world is.

knowledge, knowledge, knowledge...The most important weapon and defense.

Before I know it, it'll be time for the big "birds & bees" talk. I'd much rather teach her about that than the television, or her buddies at school!

Good luck man!

[BABY1]

Re: MY 6YR OLD

I think around 5 or 6 is when lots of children start to question death. I don't believe that they need to much info on this yet, as death also can be confusing and scary for adults as well. She has known of dying for about the last 4 years, since we lost our other daugher, but now she is really starting to grasp this.

[firstenrgy]

Re: MY 6YR OLD

My little boy was 7 when he asked if I was going to die. I had lump in my throat so big, I couldn't answer. What a tough subject.

[Dzone]

Re: MY 6YR OLD

Sounds like you guys have a great way with your kids. Thats great. Like HP said, knowledge is the best weapon and defense. It is probably harder for kids to differentiate between reality and what is fiction on TV. But knowing that TV and movies are created by people who want to yank their emotions is good.

Hollywood(left wing liberals) loves to jerk peoples emotions around. Look at the cartoons put out by disney, etc. Most of them have someone die, just for the shear enjoyment of making children cry. To toy with young emotions. To expose kids to death.
I had this 37 year old chick come by the other day. She said her eyes were all swollen cuz she watched Marley and Me and had been balling her eyes out. I said "WTF are you watching crap like that for?"...I see no reason at all to watch any movie that is going to leave me feeling like crap. There's enough shit in the world to feel bad about. I don't need to watch depressing movies to add to the stress. I watched shutter island the other night. As soon as it got to the part with the bloody murdered children laying on the grass with the crazed mother who killed them standing there covered with blood, I said thats enough, and turned it off.
I can remember movies I saw as a child that traumatized me. Looking back, I wish I had not seen those movies. I remember my dad watching horror movies and even though I was a little tyke he didnt care if I watched with him. Some were very traumatizing to a little child and had me utterly terrified. IMO that stuff isn't healthy for kids. Prob not healthy for adults either. But thats just me.

[Testify]

Re: MY 6YR OLD

Amen HP. I also believe that you can only be honest with your kids. They may not need to know everything - all the details and stuff - but when my daughter (4) has asked me about death or other difficult subject, I just try to answer her honestly and at her level, and then reassure her that everything is OK - it is a natural thing that happens to everyone. Nothing lasts forever, no one lives forever - but that we are all going to live for a long time together before we get old and die. I know she doesn't quite grasp the permanence of death, because of some of the questions she will ask me when we do talk about it. That is my great fear with them, that they may do something to endanger themselves because they don't understand the severity of the consequences - that death is forever . . . you don't wake up, you don't come back - you can say these things, but unfortunately I think only age and maturity (or a tragedy, God forbid) can really make them understand. Its tough. You don't want them to be blind to the dangers of this world, but you don't want them to be scared of everything either. ALways wear your seatbelt, look both ways for cars, never walk/run away from us in a store, don't run/play with that pencil in your mouth, don't talk to or go to strangers even if they are nice to you . . . its a nightmare when you think about it - even if you live in a safe area, you always have to watch out for them.

[daved150]

Re: MY 6YR OLD

yea..i went throguht that with both. the schools here hit the kids in kindergarden about smoking and how its gonna kill them. then the kid comes home and cry's becouse your gonna die!!! i was like wtf?? i went and talk to the teacher and told her she can knock that shyt off!!! i understand hit the kids early, but c'mon!!! kindergarden!!!

[horsepwr]

Re: MY 6YR OLD

yea..i went throguht that with both. the schools here hit the kids in kindergarden about smoking and how its gonna kill them. then the kid comes home and cry's becouse your gonna die!!! i was like wtf?? i went and talk to the teacher and told her she can knock that shyt off!!! i understand hit the kids early, but c'mon!!! kindergarden!!!

jeez, I swear...more info backing the reason that I want to be the one to educate my child on those tough issues. "You smoke, you die." to 5yr olds. Good job "teacher". Scare the hell out of every child in the class whose parents smoke. Stick to the ABCs. I'll take care of life's lessons concerning morality and such. as best I can.
If my child comes home with some bs like that. The teacher will be getting a visit from me too. Good job Dave! Teachers need to stick to academics.

[daved150]

Re: MY 6YR OLD

jeez, I swear...more info backing the reason that I want to be the one to educate my child on those tough issues. "You smoke, you die." to 5yr olds. Good job "teacher". Scare the hell out of every child in the class whose parents smoke. Stick to the ABCs. I'll take care of life's lessons concerning morality and such. as best I can.
If my child comes home with some bs like that. The teacher will be getting a visit from me too. Good job Dave! Teachers need to stick to academics.

thats one thing about me...i'm VERY involved in my kids educatin! i have no problem reminding teacher they worrk for me. i'll walk into the class on a tueday at 11am just to see whats up! and....if i dont think you put any thaught in sitting my daughter next to her "BFF" so they can run on about boys, i'll move her seat NOW! the first time that happened, you should have seen the teachers face, lol!!

[Testify]

Re: MY 6YR OLD

I don't think it is wrong for teachers to educate our younger children about the dangers of smoking - but that's where they should have left it. Tell them "Smoking can cause serious health problems." They probably shouldn't have scared the kids by being heavy-handed with the death issue. That is not necessary in kindergarten.