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TheChosen1's L.O.L Session
THE LITTLE GIRL & THE BIRD
Once upon a time, there was a guy sunbathing in the nude. He saw a little girl coming towards him, so he covered himself with the newspaper he was reading.
The girl came up to him and asked "What do you have under the newspaper, mister?"
"A bird," the guy replied. The little girl walked away and the guy fell asleep.
When he woke up, he was in a hospital in tremendous pain. When the Police asked him what happened, the guy replied, "I don't know.
I was lying on the beach, this girl asked me about my privates, and the next thing I know is I'm here."
Police went back to the beach, found the girl, and asked her "What did you do to that naked fellow?"
After a little pause, the girl replied, "To him? Nothing. I was playing with the bird and it spit on me, so I broke its neck, cracked its eggs, and set its nest on fire."
APARTMENT FOR RENT
A prosperous business man propositioned a beautiful girl to spend the night
with him. She agreed to do so for $500. When he was ready to leave in the
morning, he told her that he didn't have any money with him but that he
would have his secretary write a check for it and make it out as "rent
for an apartment." On the way to the office, he decided that the whole
thing wasn't worth the price he had agreed to pay. So he advised his
secretary to send the check for $250 and include the following note:
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Dear madam:
Enclosed is my check in the amount of $250 for rent of your
apartment. I am not sending the amount I agreed upon, because when I
rented the apartment, I was under the impression:
1. That it had never been occupied.
2. That there was plenty of heat.
3. That it was small.
Last night, I found that it had been occupied, there wasn't any heat and
it was entirely too large.
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Upon the receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check with
the following note:
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Dear sir:
I am returning your check for $250. I can not understand how
you could expect such a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied. As
for the heat, there was plenty of it, if you knew how to turn it on. As
for the size, it isn't my fault if you didn't have sufficient furniture
to fill it.
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[Sometimes a good comeback is compensation enough...]
Once upon a time, there was a guy sunbathing in the nude. He saw a little girl coming towards him, so he covered himself with the newspaper he was reading.
The girl came up to him and asked "What do you have under the newspaper, mister?"
"A bird," the guy replied. The little girl walked away and the guy fell asleep.
When he woke up, he was in a hospital in tremendous pain. When the Police asked him what happened, the guy replied, "I don't know.
I was lying on the beach, this girl asked me about my privates, and the next thing I know is I'm here."
Police went back to the beach, found the girl, and asked her "What did you do to that naked fellow?"
After a little pause, the girl replied, "To him? Nothing. I was playing with the bird and it spit on me, so I broke its neck, cracked its eggs, and set its nest on fire."
APARTMENT FOR RENT
A prosperous business man propositioned a beautiful girl to spend the night
with him. She agreed to do so for $500. When he was ready to leave in the
morning, he told her that he didn't have any money with him but that he
would have his secretary write a check for it and make it out as "rent
for an apartment." On the way to the office, he decided that the whole
thing wasn't worth the price he had agreed to pay. So he advised his
secretary to send the check for $250 and include the following note:
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Dear madam:
Enclosed is my check in the amount of $250 for rent of your
apartment. I am not sending the amount I agreed upon, because when I
rented the apartment, I was under the impression:
1. That it had never been occupied.
2. That there was plenty of heat.
3. That it was small.
Last night, I found that it had been occupied, there wasn't any heat and
it was entirely too large.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Upon the receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check with
the following note:
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Dear sir:
I am returning your check for $250. I can not understand how
you could expect such a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied. As
for the heat, there was plenty of it, if you knew how to turn it on. As
for the size, it isn't my fault if you didn't have sufficient furniture
to fill it.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
[Sometimes a good comeback is compensation enough...]
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