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  • Noah's Ark

    [found this on the internet and thought it was good, so i copied and pasted it.]


    Have you ever actually thought about Noah and the Ark?



    No, I mean I know we have all heard the story since we were kids but have you thought about it as an adult? Sure it makes perfect sense when you read the book as a kid and the pop out animals and boat come off the page and even make noises, its a great story and shows us how powerful god is. That is when you are 4, but we happen to not be 4 anymore and we dont have to believe everything our parents read us at bed time. Have you really sat down and looked at the logistics behind what it would take to put 2 of every animal into a boat for a year? If not, lucky for you I have nothing better to do with my time than do mathematic calculations for 6 hours on what it would actually take to accomplish this. Of course once we finish and as rational intelligent adults we admit that there is no way this story can be true we will all say, but luke god works in ways that you cannot understand. Of course! Its always the answer once we actually use our brains and realize that the foundation of our entire lives is nothing more than a childrens story book. So lets start shall we?



    In 2004 it was documented by the IUCN that there are:



    9,717 species of birds

    5,416 species of mammals

    950,000 species of insects



    Ok lets pause for a minute for that to soak in. I know what you are thinking right now, your brain is trying to wrap around that number and imagine 2 of everyone of them right? Why are you thinking for yourself, thats what the bible is for, to think for you! No need to use intelligence, science or rational thought..



    Before we get to the biggest piece of the puzzle, the animals, lets discuss food.



    Many animals require fresh food to survive. For example many snakes will only eat live animals, Koala bears require Eucalyptus leaves in order to survive. Did noah have an ecosystem on the boat to grow the Eucalyptus trees to provide the food for the Koala bears or did they somehow gather the leaves before the flood and store them for the koala bears on the trip? Actually you cannot store live leaves for a year without refrigeration, even with refrigeration the leaves would be too old for the koalas to eat and gain nutrition from, have you ever seen lettuce in the fridge after a week?



    Lets walk through just the regular standard food and what it would take to feed that many animals daily, food would have to be kept in containers or the insects would eat it. How was food kept for that many animals for an entire year? Big cats eat 20lbs of raw meat a day, there are 7 species of big cats, thats 14 cats to feed 20lbs of raw meat a day. Thats 280lbs a day, 1960 lbs a week, 101,920lbs of raw meat for the year. Where was this kept? Did they kill their food every day? If so, where were the live animals kept? They had to be live, you cant keep meat safe to eat for that long. That means more cages...



    Lets talk about watering. I did the math on what it would take to provide fresh water to 16,000 animals because time after time I found christians rationalizing the story as there were only 8,000 types of animals on the boat, so we will go with that, even though that is rationally/logicaly incorrect, there are more animals than that on earth that would require the ark for survival. But since they swear by 8,000 we will use that number. Especially since after i spend an entire hour giving you actual facts you are going to reply with "you just have to have faith"... So I might as well use a round number for math sake.



    Lets say it takes 20 seconds per animal to provide fresh water, 20 seconds per animal would be 88 human hours of work per day. There were only 8 people on the boat so thats 11 hours per person per day. Thats JUST water. Now lets look at an even more unbelievable tidbit of information, WHERE did the water come from? Yes I know they were on a boat, but you were also on a boat in the middle of brackish water, a combination of rain water and salt water from the oceans, also dont forget there are 100's of millions of dead rotting animals and humans in the water, because all living things died. So they are rotting in the sun, i am pretty sure this water was not safe to drink for people or animals.



    I guess we could have stored the water before the flood, but actually, unfortunately a little detail called science and fact will prevent that. Just for math purposes lets say that at least 100 of the animals on the boat were as big as a sheep, this is a fact. A sheep requires 2 gallons of water a day to live, water weighs 8 pounds per gallon, for those 100 animals alone, JUST the 100 animals it would require 200 gallons of water a day, weighing 1600lbs, just for that one day, just for those 100 animals. To last a year, 75,000 gallons of water or 80 tons of water would be needed just to keep those 100 animals alive. If you took the actual number of animals on the boat you would need 2.5 olympic size wimming pools of water, where was this kept? I know I know, Im sure god changed the molecular structure of the water and produced 10 billion gallons from a single tear drop from a virgin.



    What about the time needed to feed the animals? Assuming the 16,000 number again and that it would take 30 seconds per animal to feed them, remember we have containers to deal with, hauling food from one location to the cages, food prep, food cleanup, we would be looking at 192 man hours per day. Divided by 8 people and we are looking at 23 hours in a day on top of the 11 hours a day needed to water, now we have 34 hours in a day, and im sure what you are saying now is to god a day is a second and a second can be a year, well thats pretty handy cause we are gonna need all the help we can get.



    Lets talk about waste for a minute. Most of the animals would need their cages cleaned once per day. I did a little research and found that in a typical zoo one person can clean 100 cages in a work day before exhaustion, and thats working very hard with water hoses and tools. 8 people and 8,000 cages, im not sure the math works out on that but I could be wrong, but hey who needs math when you have god right? Why do we even learn science and math in school when we have faith? Those pesky school teachers, teaching us all this information when we had faith right there in front of us the whole time.



    Lets say the average cage takes 30 seconds to clean, but then you have to dispose of the waste. Which means you would have to put it in a wheelbarrow and walk it up the ramps to the top deck and throw it off. You could probably fit 20 cages worth of dung into a wheelbarrow before the trip would be needed. I would estimate the trip would take 3 minutes to get to the top, drop it off and then come back down. If there are 8,000 cages that would be 400 trips at 3 minutes a trip, 12,000 minutes or 200 hours a day, 8 people, would take 25 hours in a day, now we are at 59 hours of labor for 8 people in a day and we still havent dealt with urine. I'm sure glad we have god helping out with this project or we would be in trouble.



    Lets discuss urine. I looked up multiple types of animals, some pee a gallon a day, some pee an teaspoon a day. I did a pretty safe average on the conservative side and it came out to be about 1/4 cup of urine a day. Lets say there were 10,000 animals on the lower two decks that would have urine that would have to be dealt with, thats 2500 cups or 165 gallons of urine a day. This would collect on the two floors that would have to be scooped and removed by hand, seriously can you imagine the smell, no air conditioner or fans, urine, feces, inside a hot boat, 10,000 animals for a year. Seriously? I stepped in dog crap the other day and gagged for 10 minutes. Multiple that times 10,000. But if noah can live for centuries then i'm sure by then he cant smell anymore anyway.



    By the way the little zoo in my hometown has 660 animals and 11 staff members to take care of them. I dont think even need to discuss why that is significant to this story. But, I do know that Noah needs to start teaching zoo keeping training courses very soon because he was the most efficient zoo keeper ever, he even found a way to work 60+ hours in a 24 hour day.



    So lets look at the birds



    I want you to literally imagine a room with 100 cages with 2 birds inside each one of them, flying around in the cage and making whatever sound they make at the top of their lungs. Imagine how loud the room would be and how much space 100 cages would take up. In case you cant imagine I am going to tell you. Also in case you were wondering if cages were necessary, stop wondering, without cages they would cross breed and would fly and defecate all over the entire boat making it unsanitary to live in for all animals. Imagine what your car looks like when its parked under 10 birds, now imagine it under 19,000 birds! Ok so back to the cages, which are required to keep the birds under control. If we took an average size for all the birds and made a rough estimate on cage size it would be 2 foot by 2 foot. This is VERY conservative size and would not give the birds any room to fly for an entire year, but for sake of argument we will go with it. Each pair of birds are crammed into a 2x2 cage.



    We are going to need 9,717 cages at 2 foot wide each which had to be hand built from wood without power tools. If we assume we are going to stack the cages 5 high, which if we stacked them any higher the defication from the other birds would end up killing the birds underneath them. I did some research on chicken houses and how they are designed, most stayed true to this argument. 5 cages high and 220 cages longs, thats 1,100 cages in each row, We would need 9 rows of bird cages to hold every species of bird which would take up 18 of the available 75 feet in width for JUST the birds. I think we are going to need a bigger boat, Jaws actually stole that from Noah.



    How were the insects kept under control? 950,000 species of insects times 2 of each kind would be 1.9 million insects. Without them caged they would have been stepped on by the staff of 8 zookeepers, or stepped on by the animals themselves unless of course god gave them a protective shield to protect them from this happening. Not to mention that the birds and other animals would use the live insects for food. A single bird can eat 1,500 insects in a day and a single bat can eat over 500 insects in just one day. With 19,000 birds on board those insects wouldnt last long.



    Some people really try grasping hard and say that all of the insects survived on floating mats of vegetation during the year flood. Great idea except it goes completely against your scripture which is 100 percent accurate. Genesis 7:21 "And all flesh died that moved upon the earth, both of fowl, and of cattle, and of beast, and of every creeping thing that creepth upon the earth, and every man."



    Also there are many poisonous insects that could cause harm to the zookeepers and the animals on board and would have be caged somehow. Also what about termites, how do you keep termites alive in a wooden boat? I'm a pretty smart guy and I cant for the life of me figure out how to contain that many insects, if you do contain them how do they have oxygen when contained and how are they fed? If they are in cages wont they escape? Remember a Parasoid wasp only eats food it can attack and kill, so we would have to make sure we have plenty of live food in its cage so it could eat, it will not eat dead food, thats fact. Aphids are physically incapable of sucking from wilted leaves, they MUST eat from a live leaf, which would require them to keep plants alive for an entire year. Spiders eat from vibration of its live prey, thats going to be tricky. But it doesnt matter because gods ways are bigger than mine right and he can make all that change with the snap of his fingers.



    Ok now that we have established that it is completely impossible for these animals to exist on the boat lets take a look at how they got to the boat. The sloth for example moves at a maximum speed of 5 feet per minute, if there was a bridge from his existing environment(central america) right to the door of the boat in the middle east it would take 14 straight years to make the 7,000 mile journey. Unless god equipped the sloth with a warping device similar to star trek and he was able to feed the machine with bananas for fuel and take him directly there. You might be saying well the sloth was native to the middle east until the boat landed, then they moved to south americat, but does that somehow change the distance of the return trip? Uhm... no. Still would require the banana fed travel warp machine.



    Thats also assuming there was a bridge across the OCEAN in between the continents, unless you believe that all the continents were one land mass and in a few thousand years they spread apart to where they are today. But if you believe that you are probably still in 3rd grade and this show doesnt really apply to you. It is physically impossible for land masses to shift that much in a few thousand years without living in a constant state of earth quakes. The number is more like 200 million years but sure we can go with 3,000 its close enough.



    What about kangaroos? Are they good swimmers? Did they swim all the way from Australia to the middle east? If they could swim so good then why did they need the boat, couldnt they just tread water for a year? That would be easier than swimming for a year or two, then being stuck in a stinking hot boat for a year.



    What about polar bears, they require cold weather to survive. How did they make it across the desert without dying?



    Or what about penguins, dont you think the sharks and land predators would have feasted on them as a buffet while they made the journey? Or did god equip them with special penguin swords to fight off all evil?



    Also how did they all know to go to the boat? Was there a special whistle that noah had that made all animals gravitate to it like the boomerang on crocodile dundee? Remember that one he would spin and the animals would come help him?



    Ok so lets say this happened and the boat finally lands on dry ground and all the animals rush off the boat to be free and eat plants, oh wait. If the world is under water for a year then there are no plants to eat, but there is the olive branch that the dove brought, we could split it up 8,000 ways for all of the plant eating animals. Sounds filling...



    Ask someone who believes this story and they will tell you they ate seaweed. Genius! Oh wait, its not. Seaweed requires less than 30 feet of water to grow in, the only place that was 30 feet deep was on the top of mountains, so all the herbivores would have to travel to the mountain tops to eat the seaweed which would be rotten by the time they got there, unless they used their banana powered time travel backpacks, but then there would only be a limited amount of seaweed, of course we are basing this discussion on time travel backpacks, which is just about as believable as this boat story.


    Next lets look at the carnivores, those guys are screwed. They get off the boat, starving to death and the only animals they can eat are the ones on the ark! It completely defeats the purpose of the ark and saving the animals. How funny would it be if noahs family worked 59 hours in a single day for an entire year only to have 9 lions left when the boat landed because they ate everything else smaller than them. Of couse I guess they could wait for all the animals to mate and eat their babies, but then how would we ever have more animals on earth? Silly right? Nope, completely true story, just ask 2.2 billion people.



    Ask someone who believes this how the carnivores ate and they would tell you they ate the carcasses of the dead animals. Corky, they have been dead for a year, the average rotting period of an animal is 62 days. Unless god applied anti rotting cream to all the animals before they died, i dont think thats written down anywhere but i will double check.



    The entire concept is just flat out ridiculous, but since tradition has passed down to us this book and told us it was true we continue believing it. Just like people in India believe that a cow is god because their parents told them it was and because someone in Turkey believes that Allah is god and would like for them to strap on a bomb on their chest and blow up innocent people. We believe what is handed down to us by the people we trust without questioning it. Authority and tradition are two things that are never questioned, however are the two that need to be questioned the most.

  • #2
    Re: Noah's Ark

    ya bro, I really look back and it is hard to even imagine that I once bought these stories hook line and sinker. I still want to consider myself a Christian, but gosh, some of the bible is so far fetched. Im leaning toward the idea that all religion is created by man to control and scare people. This story seems to be one of those stories of God killing masses of people out of anger.
    But we believe it because a sunday school teacher told us it was true.

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    • #3
      Re: Noah's Ark

      you the bible does not say that noah took every species God instructed Noah to bring into the ark two of all living creatures, male and female, along with every kind of food to be stored as food for the animals and his family while on the ark.

      things animals adapth to where they live hence the polar bear living in the cold and the sidwinder sand snake lives in the desert.

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      • #4
        Re: Noah's Ark

        Originally posted by Dzone View Post
        This story seems to be one of those stories of God killing masses of people out of anger.
        But we believe it because a sunday school teacher told us it was true.

        maybe we believe it because the bible say it. the bible is the word of god. the word of god is the same yesterday, today and forever. it dosent change.


        yes religion was created by man. religion is the worst thing ever.

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        • #5
          Re: Noah's Ark

          religion is the worst thing ever


          YOUR QUOTE IS THE WORSE THING YOU POSTED,WHY IN GODS GREEN EARTH WOULD YOU SAY RELIGION IS THE WORSE THING EVER,LETS HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS ON THAT
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          • #6
            Re: Noah's Ark

            relgion by that i mean denomination man sayinh that you have to dress some way to come to church to worship god.if you don't drive a certain car or only use part of the bible. speaking in tounges is in the bible but some reliougss groups say its the devil but in act it clearly states it.dont preak parts of the bible that sound good for you preach the whole thing. thats what i mean.

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            • #7
              Re: Noah's Ark

              huh...i wanna pop up book, with pop up animals and a boat that comes off the page and makes noises!!! i didnt get that!! i want one......

              yea...thats a pretty good story. when i was a kid i wondered who wrote it? is the stroy being narated by moses, like in the 3rd person (kinda big stuffin it, like mr big stuff) or was there a 3rd persn there not looking so much for the notoriety. but just wanting the story to be heard? it was pretty confusing. i never really thaught he took 2 of EVERYTHING, but i wondered how the platapus made the cut??!! i always figured there was some jacked up animals god was like, "ok...not them 2....not them....no...cow? ok...deer?, good...THAT THING??? hell no...wtf was i thinking making that, lol".
              HE WHO MAKES A BEAST OF HIMSELF, GET'S RID OF THE PAIN OF BEING A MAN!!


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              "Actually for once your actually starting sound quite logical!"-djdiggler 07/10/2007

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              • #8
                Re: Noah's Ark

                What does this have to do with politics?

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                • #9
                  Re: Noah's Ark

                  Originally posted by 3sweeties View Post
                  What does this have to do with politics?

                  This forum used to be called "Politics and Religion". I don't think some realize that it was changed to "politics". The 2 subjects were once put together because they are both very controversial subjects and peoples views vary.
                  Veritas Vos Liberabit

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                  • #10
                    Re: Noah's Ark

                    i didnt realized it changed either!!! why'd we seperate them?
                    HE WHO MAKES A BEAST OF HIMSELF, GET'S RID OF THE PAIN OF BEING A MAN!!


                    http://www.infinitymuscle.com/forum.php







                    "Actually for once your actually starting sound quite logical!"-djdiggler 07/10/2007

                    I LOVE BOOBOOKITTY...

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                    • #11
                      Re: Noah's Ark

                      ^^^ Because Dave, us true Americans believe in separation of church and state!! bwaahahaha, i couldn't help myself!!

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                      • #12
                        Re: Noah's Ark

                        ^lol!!!! thats funny
                        HE WHO MAKES A BEAST OF HIMSELF, GET'S RID OF THE PAIN OF BEING A MAN!!


                        http://www.infinitymuscle.com/forum.php







                        "Actually for once your actually starting sound quite logical!"-djdiggler 07/10/2007

                        I LOVE BOOBOOKITTY...

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                        • #13
                          Re: Noah's Ark

                          Originally posted by Doink the clown View Post
                          ^^^ Because Dave, us true Americans believe in separation of church and state!! bwaahahaha, i couldn't help myself!!
                          hahaah...perfect.


                          but yeah. That story has always made me wonder.
                          1 up

                          Go Gators


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                          • #14
                            Re: Noah's Ark

                            I am very curious how the bible is the exact Word of God. I also want to know the complete history of that book and how it came to be...Just curious, thats all.

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                            • #15
                              Re: Noah's Ark

                              Originally posted by Dzone View Post
                              I am very curious how the bible is the exact Word of God. I also want to know the complete history of that book and how it came to be...Just curious, thats all.
                              we had a regular member for a while that was very knowledgeable on, not just the bible, but religion in general. He seemed to know about several different religions, but he studied the bible in college. His handle is mandarb. I remember him saying he studied the Holy Bible for 18yrs.
                              He knew allot about it. He knew like, when each book was actually written, etc...Allot of it was actually written over 100yrs C.E.
                              1 up

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