Friend needs advice.

[Scalleywag]

My buddy's wife is putting on some lbs. He needs to figure out how to tell her without coming off like a jerk. Women always say they want you to let them know if they're putting on weight but when you do your not sensitive to their needs, or youre just not understanding.

I told him to set the example. He should start eating healthier, go to a gym or start running. Even ask her if she wants to go for a walk.

What do you guys think? How do you let your significant other know she is getting fat without ending up on Dr. Phil?

[Merc]

Re: Friend needs advice.

just do what you said set an example cook better for the both of them and invite her to go on walks and go to the gym with him.

[Deno]

Re: Friend needs advice.

Sometimes set an example doesn't work. I think he should first set an example and see how she reacts. If she still doesn't bite then I would be HONEST and tell her that both of them should look and be healthier try eating clean, exercising and just go to the gym together. If she refuses and says no i like the way I look...well then ur boy is pretty much phucked.

[alluprbdy]

Re: Friend needs advice.

Nothing im sure she realizes shes gaining weight and if she wants to lose it she will IMO

[daved150]

Re: Friend needs advice.

i agree that if HE starts doing it, SHE'LL follow...he should just start saying shyt like..."man...i'm getting heavy baby" and i bet she'll redirect it towards herself! then "we can do"...this or that about it

[Klash]

Re: Friend needs advice.

I don't say anything, don't even imply it. If she's a mom and a wife; she probably wouldn't respond well to even more pressure and it would probably just make her frustrated and add stress to the marriage.

What I would do is step it up in my exercise regime; and diet if necessary. Then if/when she says she'd like to go to the gym but she feels like she just doesn't have time; he will have to decide what he is willing to do, to help her get there. Working out at 4:30 in the morning, doing household chores, while she goes in the evening, not getting to see her much, etc.

Me and my wife hardly even see each other during the week. i workout in the early morning, she works out in the evening after our family time dinner.

[kite]

Re: Friend needs advice.

I wouldn't say anything either. My wife put on some weight with the pregnancy and hasn't lost it but the truth is, it doesn't bother me at all. I love her and if she's got some excess weight I really don't care. I agree with what Klash said and a couple of the others said. If she wants to lose it or wants help losing it she'll say so I'm sure. I certainly wouldn't want to risk hurting the woman I married's feelings ya know?

[Scalleywag]

Re: Friend needs advice.

Let me add a little to it. They don't have kids. She just chooses not to do either. Every time she comes over she goes straight to our fridge and gets a bowl of ice cream. She just has no desire. He tells me that she took care of herself when they were dating but now she just doesn't. What do you do about that?

[Klash]

Re: Friend needs advice.

Let me add a little to it. They don't have kids. She just chooses not to do either. Every time she comes over she goes straight to our fridge and gets a bowl of ice cream. She just has no desire. He tells me that she took care of herself when they were dating but now she just doesn't. What do you do about that?

Ohhhh. that would scare the $hit out of me, too.

If I woke up one day in his shoes; that marriage just turned into a probationary period and I wouldn't be having any kids with her in case I decided to leave.

[angryoldman]

Re: Friend needs advice.

Let me add a little to it. They don't have kids. She just chooses not to do either. Every time she comes over she goes straight to our fridge and gets a bowl of ice cream. She just has no desire. He tells me that she took care of herself when they were dating but now she just doesn't. What do you do about that?

Oooh Fah. Sounds like she's "Marri-tutionalized". She's so accustomed to married life, she doesn't give a $hit about anything else anymore. She figures "If he leaves me, I get paid. So let me just do what I feel." That includes making Ice Cream one of her 5 food groups.
That's a tough one pally. I agree with everyone else. If your boy tries to set an example, she may not follow suit. He might be able yo use himself as an example, and try some word magic like:
"Hey, you know snookie bear, I was thinking...... My diets been going to the crapper. I been feeling bloated and out of shape. I want to try and eat healthier, so I can feel better. But you have to help me cuddle cakes. We have to start buying healthier things. No ice cream that could tempt me, and no more fast food stuff (or whatever)..."
Something along those lines. If not, he can always find a younger hotter skinnier chick that would appreciate him for his body. It'll cost him though.

[Schiznick]

Re: Friend needs advice.

If he's close to her, they can just talk about it like anything else... Im sure SHE knows she's putting on weight, she probably noticed before he did,...

I would just encourage her to diet and train with me, she may be a little offended at first, but when she loses the weight she will thank him for it later

[Dzone]

Re: Friend needs advice.

compliment the heck out of her first...then tell her in a gentle way by espousing the great benefits of reg exercise: anti-aging benefits, lower stress, better brain function, increased bone mineralization, anti-diabetes, and then make it a team event...

[Scalleywag]

Re: Friend needs advice.

I was thinking I put my wife on her. Get my wife to spell it out. She is one of her best friends so I think she can talk to her like that.

[kite]

Re: Friend needs advice.

I was thinking I put my wife on her. Get my wife to spell it out. She is one of her best friends so I think she can talk to her like that.

Good call. If that doesn't work he's just gonna have to try and talk to her about it.

[skinnyman]

Re: Friend needs advice.

i get that all the time and it's a double edge sword. they ask you tell them if they're gettig fat but whne you do....all shyt hits the fan.

do what i did. buy a treadmill and stick in the family room in front of the tv