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Scalley...Oldwiseguy is right to a degree. But I do agree that she should have atleast given the courtesy of leaving a message on your phone so you knew where she was.
I would gotten up early the next day, let her sleep, packed my ish and went home. When she woke up and called me I would have let my phone go to voice mail. A few hours later I would have called her back and said that if she wanted to talk about it I was at home. If she didn't get there in the same amount of time that it took me to get there the locks would be changed and her crap would be boxed up on the curb.
In a relationship with me you DO NOT EVER go look at another mans sweaty dong. Its not right and THATS THAT. It is the same as cheating in my book. I don't go and she ain't going either.
I have already told my fiancee that if there is a naked man at her bachelorette party that the wedding is OFF and thats it. One of her bridesmaids is my best friend for like 20 years and I will get the full report.
Some people might call that controlling, but I call it respect. I would never in a MILLION years pay money to have some girl rub her sweaty funbags on my head. So, I expect the same from her. If she wants to look at porn online feel free. If she wants to look at a naked man in person it had better be me or she had better find another man.
^...it was a regular strip club where chicks dance.
Well, I know for sure that my girl wouldn't be there. She has no interest in that kind of thing whatsoever. Which would lead me to believe that if she was there, with her phone turned off, that she probably didn't go there with just the other girl. I don't want to put thoughts in your head, but do girls really go to strip clubs by themselves at 2 in the morning and turn off their phones??? Can drunk girls be talked into going to a strip club with two guys that they meet at a hotel bar? Its possible.
I am not accusing anyone, I don't know your wife and would never accuse, I am just thinking out loud about what would be going through my mind in the same situation.
Well, I know for sure that my girl wouldn't be there. She has no interest in that kind of thing whatsoever. Which would lead me to believe that if she was there, with her phone turned off, that she probably didn't go there with just the other girl. I don't want to put thoughts in your head, but do girls really go to strip clubs by themselves at 2 in the morning and turn off their phones??? Can drunk girls be talked into going to a strip club with two guys that they meet at a hotel bar? Its possible.
I am not accusing anyone, I don't know your wife and would never accuse, I am just thinking out loud about what would be going through my mind in the same situation.
Believe me bro, I thought about that for a second but I really believe my wife wouldn't do that. She could have me completely fooled but there are no indicators whatsoever. Other than this event she is a model wife. What I think happened is the hotel bar closed and since they were drinking Red Bull and Vodka they weren't ready to go to bed. She KNEW I would be pissed if she went to a booty shaking club without telling me so she opted to go to a place she thought I would be cool with. What gave her that idea I have no clue but that is how she thinks.
We are passed it now. I threw her monkey ass in the pool with her go out clothes on Sat. night which started a huge water and sand fight. We had some REAL ROUGH make up sex on the beach Then she apologized cause she knew she f'ed up. So it all cool now. I don't stay mad at anyone for more than a few hours.
What the hell is he talking about.
I 've been there MANY times. I don't really care where my wife goes if I call it a night but the point is that I know she is OK. Like most women, mine thinks she is invinciable and she can handle every bad situation. Wrong? Drop a pill in her drink or overpower her in the parking lot and she just got gang raped and/or head head cut off.
This guy didn't say for the party to end but it is simply respect that if she tells you that she will be home by a certainn time then I expect someone near that she is home or calling me letting me know she'll be late or she is going somewhere else.
In your case, she didn't say she was going to a strip club because she knew you'd have issues.
And why the **** don't they answer the phone when they know your going to be worried and calling???
The only thing funny about this is writing about it, I can picture a million times my wife has done the exact same thing.
Example- Our marriage is a bit different. My wife likes girls and I have no problem if she ends up having some fun with another girl as long as it is just them there and she tells me where she is going to be and expecting to happen. I'm working one night, she's a party animal and 5 girls are going back to one of their apartments to keep drinking.No problem except they end up in a poolside hot tub naked and start to play around.Next thing she knows she feels a hand on her ass and looks up to see one of the girlfriends man naked in the tub rubbing her ass!!!
Partys over and she bails but this is exactly what could have happened and got really ugly with me at work unable to do anything.
Just respect thats all.
What the hell is he talking about.
I 've been there MANY times. I don't really care where my wife goes if I call it a night but the point is that I know she is OK. Like most women, mine thinks she is invinciable and she can handle every bad situation. Wrong? Drop a pill in her drink or overpower her in the parking lot and she just got gang raped and/or head head cut off.
This guy didn't say for the party to end but it is simply respect that if she tells you that she will be home by a certainn time then I expect someone near that she is home or calling me letting me know she'll be late or she is going somewhere else.
In your case, she didn't say she was going to a strip club because she knew you'd have issues.
And why the **** don't they answer the phone when they know your going to be worried and calling???
The only thing funny about this is writing about it, I can picture a million times my wife has done the exact same thing.
Example- Our marriage is a bit different. My wife likes girls and I have no problem if she ends up having some fun with another girl as long as it is just them there and she tells me where she is going to be and expecting to happen. I'm working one night, she's a party animal and 5 girls are going back to one of their apartments to keep drinking.No problem except they end up in a poolside hot tub naked and start to play around.Next thing she knows she feels a hand on her ass and looks up to see one of the girlfriends man naked in the tub rubbing her ass!!!
Partys over and she bails but this is exactly what could have happened and got really ugly with me at work unable to do anything.
Just respect thats all.
So my wife and I went to the beach with my brother, my brother's gf, my brother-in-law and his gf. I explained to my wife and the rest of the ladies that the guys had an early tee time Sat. so we needed to keep it kind of low key Fri. night then on Sat. night we will do whatever they wanted (go dancing). They were cool with that.
At 12:30 my brother and I tell the ladies that we were heading off to bed. They were at the hotel bar having some drinks so they said they would be up in a little while. With that I went off to bed.
I wake up a 3am and my wife is no where to be found. I went down to the bar, shes not there. I went out onto the beach she is not there. My brother's gf is not there either. So of course we start calling their cell phones which go directly to voice mail. At 3:45 I finally get in touch with her....she's at the strip club with my brother's gf. Now that I know she is safe I imediately turn from being worried to being pissed.
I didn't talk to her when she got home just because i was so mad and just wanted to sleep instead of deal with the drama. So she calls me on the golf course acting like nothing is wrong. At that time I blew up and told her how inconsiderate I felt that was. I was not so nice in saying that though.
This is the kicker, she tries to turn the spit around like it is my fault she didn't tell me where she was going. She thinks that I would have not wanted her to go which is exactly right. I don't go to strip clubs out of respect to her. The least I could get is the same curtesy.
If the shoe was on the other foot and I left when she went to bed to go to "Peter's Hangout" how would that go over?
Am I way off base here? Should I not be pissed? Let me add one more thing. This is not an isolated incident. She has in the past told me she was going to be home at 12 and not shown up until 3. When she drinks she is all about getting wasted and has not consideration for other most importantly her husband.
So I ask again....Am I the A$$hole?
Your right on! You love her, thats why when you wake at 3:00 and she's not there you get all amped up and worried. You try to deduct where she could be. She's not there - you get more worried. You call her cell phone - she doesn't answer - your anxiety gets knocked up to another level. Your ready to hurt someone because of all the "what if" scenarios that are running through your head at 100 a second, of what could be happening.
Then you find out she's not hurt, just inconsiderate and not because she was apathetic but because she intentionally didn't want you to know because you would have had issue with it. She avoided you because going out was more of a priority than you at that time. You treated her as if she was number one. Your golf game all of sudden became a lesser priority to finding and making sure your wife was o.k. - she did not show the same value towards you.
My wife did this once, out of apathy. Only after she found out I had called over my mom to watch the kid, after i called all the hospitals and the police, so I could manually go look for her, did she understand how important it is just to inform me she is o.k.
You have every right to be worried and then upset once you found out what was up. How would she like it if you did that to her? Not so cool, huh?
There is probably no need to worry about her going to a strip club since you trust her. But, that is not what is up for discussion here.
All she needed to do is stop by the room and say where she was going. If you were not going to be all right with her going to a strip club you would have a chance to let her know. If you were cool with it all would be good and you would not be worried about her safety.
If a person stops and thinks for a second before they act....hmmm would the person(s) I am affecting like it if I did this to them? This would prevent a lot of drama.
Personally, I would not tolerate that kind of behavior. If I am running late for anybody, especially my better-half, I extend the courtesy of a call letting the person know I am running late. It is just common courtesty.
Remember, you get what you tolerate.
Just my $0.02.
-kdog
There are three types of people in this world.
Those who can count and those who can't.
hmm.... not that it really matters, but was it a male strip bar a "titty" bar? anyway, if i were in that situation I would be ragin like hell! My gf wouldn't do that to me, she would at least call me first and let me know she wanted to go out. I would have said sure, just use protection (an inside joke). she needs to really set things straight with you and beg for forgiveness!
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Then she apologized cause she knew she f'ed up. So it all cool now. I don't stay mad at anyone for more than a few hours.
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