Why is it SO hard?

[Shaun_C]

Why is it so dang hard to meet people?

I mean I don't get it at all, it's not exactly rocket science and it's pretty basic. Yet year after year I continuously have problems developping friendships. And even forming romantic connections with women.

And it's not like I don't try, I've even considering using online sites like Lavalife and Tango Personels. But as of yet I haven't developed the courage to register. Mainly because being unemployed and not having my own place, I don't (IMPO) have a lot to bring to the table at the moment. And I'll NEVER forget the words someone said to me. This person's not a member here, but since the board's open to public w/o logging in. I'd rather not risk that said person happens to find this board or this thread

And I can honestly say that I'm not socially inept. Although admittedly cute women do make me a little nervous. But if I'm made to feel comfortable I'm a decent conversationalist. And I'm not an alpha-male but I can honestly say that while I'm not 100% self confident that I'm not "Charlie Brown" wishy washy either

But dang if it isn't hard for me. And some people make it seem so easy, with all the MILF stories/1-nighter stories I overhear people telling. And I am human and everybody deserves to have some friends and a gf.

Wow felt good to write it out like that

[brody13]

Re: Why is it SO hard?

You sound a lot like me bro, I just came to a new college last year and I have only developed 2 real friends (1 from when I was 6 years old, just re-met him after a couple years), so basically only 1. It is hard to meet people if you are anything like me, usually willing to have a good conversation with someone, but not willing to go out and start one. I have a fear of rejection in almost any situation, so I don't pursue anything to much. For me I have to learn to overcome that and understand that I shouldn't care what others think of me. I don't know you, but I am sure you have an obstacle to overcome just as I do. Hope that helps a little. Just get out there and start talking to everyone you see!

[supasaiyan99]

Re: Why is it SO hard?

Why is it so dang hard to meet people?

I mean I don't get it at all, it's not exactly rocket science and it's pretty basic. Yet year after year I continuously have problems developping friendships. And even forming romantic connections with women.

And it's not like I don't try, I've even considering using online sites like Lavalife and Tango Personels. But as of yet I haven't developed the courage to register. Mainly because being unemployed and not having my own place, I don't (IMPO) have a lot to bring to the table at the moment. And I'll NEVER forget the words someone said to me. This person's not a member here, but since the board's open to public w/o logging in. I'd rather not risk that said person happens to find this board or this thread

And I can honestly say that I'm not socially inept. Although admittedly cute women do make me a little nervous. But if I'm made to feel comfortable I'm a decent conversationalist. And I'm not an alpha-male but I can honestly say that while I'm not 100% self confident that I'm not "Charlie Brown" wishy washy either

But dang if it isn't hard for me. And some people make it seem so easy, with all the MILF stories/1-nighter stories I overhear people telling. And I am human and everybody deserves to have some friends and a gf.

Wow felt good to write it out like that

As far as friends, you can go to chat rooms and start chatting with people. Also there is a website http://www.meetup.com/ where people who share common interests in the same city can meetup and do events together. I'm part of the French meetup group since I am French. I've met a lot of people from the group from all over the place. There are people from South Korea, South America, Europe and Canada who joined the group because of their interest in the french language and culture. One of the ladies in the group is also part of the knitting meetup group. Another guy is also part of a dog owners meetup group. There are tons and tons of meetups for all types of interests. Try searching that site for whatever interests you and see if they have a meetup group in your city. I'm sure if you find one and start going to the meetings, you'll probably end up meeting a special lady? Good luck.

[Rolsroyce]

Re: Why is it SO hard?

Why is it so dang hard to meet people?

I mean I don't get it at all, it's not exactly rocket science and it's pretty basic. Yet year after year I continuously have problems developping friendships. And even forming romantic connections with women.

And it's not like I don't try, I've even considering using online sites like Lavalife and Tango Personels. But as of yet I haven't developed the courage to register. Mainly because being unemployed and not having my own place, I don't (IMPO) have a lot to bring to the table at the moment. And I'll NEVER forget the words someone said to me. This person's not a member here, but since the board's open to public w/o logging in. I'd rather not risk that said person happens to find this board or this thread

And I can honestly say that I'm not socially inept. Although admittedly cute women do make me a little nervous. But if I'm made to feel comfortable I'm a decent conversationalist. And I'm not an alpha-male but I can honestly say that while I'm not 100% self confident that I'm not "Charlie Brown" wishy washy either

But dang if it isn't hard for me. And some people make it seem so easy, with all the MILF stories/1-nighter stories I overhear people telling. And I am human and everybody deserves to have some friends and a gf.

Wow felt good to write it out like that

i think we have all had that nervous feeling when we meet a smoking hot chick, pretty normal. Maybe you are trying too hard bro. I know when I just dont care I seem to attract babes like a magnet. Same thing like when you are dating someone all the sudden every chick around wants to talk to you.Relax and enjoy life and go do things and you will meet folks. You never meet people at the gym?

[daved150]

Re: Why is it SO hard?

wow bro...i dont know what to say..(yea, thats a first)...are you going to any social functions? old enough for the bar? i never had a prob. making friends, and had little prob. with the ladies. joke around. dont b intimidated...i mean, i go to the gym, and just strike convo's with peeps about whatever. most people are dying to talk about thereselve's, just give them an open door. ask if "that" was there car outside (mustang, camaro, whatever). it probobly wont be, but people like cars, and you can start a convo from there...women? well, thats diff. you gotta get over the fear of rejection thing. do you know how many beutiful women stand around NOT dancing becouse all the guy's are affraid to say hi??!! why do you think there's so many dork's with hot chick's!!! go say hi!!!

[Sal Paradise]

Re: Why is it SO hard?

I can honestly say i don't usually have a problem meeting people IF I decide it's in my interest. most of the time I am just not that willing to put my time out for someone else - I'm very selfish with my time. If we don't hit it off for some reason fairly quickly I simply move on. I don't have much time in this world and I'm not going to waste it on a "possibilty"

Now I can say I used to be very much like you and very shy and intoverted.
It just came to me one day when I was out -WHY? why should I be sitting here and watching all these other people mingling and having a good time and no one bothers to notice me. Screw it - I simply found a way to be myself/find my own way of being. If your can be happy with who you are it really helps.

Just remember this very very simple fact - If you go to talk to someone and the fear of rejection is there or you're worried they'll say no - who cares!
How much worse off are you?
You had nothing before and they said "no" you still have nothing.
But damn it's sure worth a try. If you say nothing or do nothing there ain't a chance in hell you'll get anywhere.
You can't win the jackpot if you don't play and talking to a girl has a heck of a lot better odds than playing the numbers.



Sal

[kite]

Re: Why is it SO hard?

Women can smell your nerves from a mile away! Just stop trying. I know that sounds a little funny but it's just like Rolls said, just chill and they'll come around. You could always snatch on it before you go out, that may help ya relax and not really care, lol!

[CJ24/7]

Re: Why is it SO hard?

be yourself brother women like "real" people

[Rolsroyce]

Re: Why is it SO hard?

Women can smell your nerves from a mile away! Just stop trying. I know that sounds a little funny but it's just like Rolls said, just chill and they'll come around. You could always snatch on it before you go out, that may help ya relax and not really care, lol!

LOL...

[kdogg]

Re: Why is it SO hard?

The laid back, I don't give a f*ck, nothing to lose approach usually works. You don't want to seem desparate. A confident happy-go-lucky guy with a sense of humor can have any girl he wants...to an extent.

The same goes with friends, male or female, desparation can be sensed a mile away. Just let things flow and, most importantly, be yourself.

Rolsroyce made a good point which can apply to both women and jobs. When you are dating or employed everybody is throwing it at you.

I wish you luck.

-kdog

[FUZO]

Re: Why is it SO hard?

i think we have all had that nervous feeling when we meet a smoking hot chick, pretty normal. Maybe you are trying too hard bro. I know when I just dont care I seem to attract babes like a magnet. Same thing like when you are dating someone all the sudden every chick around wants to talk to you.Relax and enjoy life and go do things and you will meet folks. You never meet people at the gym?

I HAD NO PROBLEMS BANGING MY WIFE WHEN I MET HER. IT WAS HER THAT DIDNT WANT TO BANG ME. SHE WAITIED CLOSE TO 2 WEEKS BEFORE GIVING UP THE KITTY

[kite]

Re: Why is it SO hard?

I HAD NO PROBLEMS BANGING MY WIFE WHEN I MET HER. IT WAS HER THAT DIDNT WANT TO BANG ME. SHE WAITIED CLOSE TO 2 WEEKS BEFORE GIVING UP THE KITTY

I know you were thankin God for those roofies weren't ya sparky?

[angryoldman]

Re: Why is it SO hard?

I'll be your friend! Can I borrow $100?

[Shaun_C]

Re: Why is it SO hard?

wow bro...i dont know what to say..(yea, thats a first)...are you going to any social functions? old enough for the bar?

Very rarely do I get invited out. Actually the last person (an ex-friend) who invited me out eventually played that idiotic "Who else is going to hang with you but me" card. So other then my annual Convention trips I don't socialize much

[QUOTE=Sal Paradise;780531Now I can say I used to be very much like you and very shy and intoverted.
[/QUOTE]

I'm kind of a hodge podge, I'm shy but not shy at the same time. If that makes any sense. And I'm a loner with extrovertive tendencies, meaning that if you talk to me like I'm NOT a freak. I'm pretty sociable meaning I'll crack jokes and what not

[Shaun_C]

Re: Why is it SO hard?

wow bro...i dont know what to say..(yea, thats a first)...are you going to any social functions? old enough for the bar?

Very rarely do I get invited out. Actually the last person (an ex-friend) who invited me out eventually played that idiotic "Who else is going to hang with you but me" card. So other then my annual Convention trips I don't socialize much

Now I can say I used to be very much like you and very shy and intoverted.

I'm kind of a hodge podge, I'm shy but not shy at the same time. If that makes any sense. And I'm a loner with extrovertive tendencies, meaning that if you talk to me like I'm NOT a freak. I'm pretty sociable meaning I'll crack jokes and what not