WTF?!?!?!?!?

[T-Man007]

Do you guys every go through phases where you can't say or do anything right with you wife?

It seems like no matter what I say or do lately, we end up in some kind of damn fight. I just don't get it. I'm getting so frustrated but I have no idea what to do. I'm not going to give details because I don't want to disrespect my wife, but damn already, I'm sick of this. What do you guys do when it seems like all you do is end up in some kind of argument? And don't say divorce! This is serious, so I only want serious answers please. I love my wife to death, yet today I basically spoke to her like she was a child. What the hell is wrong with me? Yes, I can argue the justification for it all day, but the truth is, I could have avoided it. How do you guys avoid arguments? How do you guys act loving and understanding? I need everything you guys can give me because I'm at a loss here. No matter what happens it seems like one of us takes the other one the wrong way and turns into this big ass fight. I don't get it because we were so good at communicating and now we suck at it.

Please help!

T

[Sachet]

Re: WTF?!?!?!?!?

I'm not a guy, but it sounds like you both need a lil more 'my time' and when together, bring back romance.

[TestRip7]

Re: WTF?!?!?!?!?

T-man, I'm not married bro but have a girlfriend of several years and I've gone through those same phases before. There will be times that nothing could be more perfect and we seem to know how to say the right things to each other and never make each other mad, and then on the opposite end of the spectrum we will sometimes just nag and ***** about the dumbest things leading to some type of dissagreement. I have no idea what causes it or how to stop it but what I do is just bite my tounge and try my hardest to be respectful to her and help her realize that in the event it is her fault what she is doing. I'll give this some more thought t-man and try to come up with something more concrete since the above is pretty vauge.

[pigmeat]

Re: WTF?!?!?!?!?

i think i go through bouts of depression, andtake it out on her, and she is bipolar, so that causes even more argments, i know what you are talking about.....if you figure anything out let me knw, because i could sure use some help....i too find myself treating my wife like a child at times..i know it isnt right, and i feel bad for it, but i find myself doing it alot...sometimes its the only way i feel i can get through,lol

[TestRip7]

Re: WTF?!?!?!?!?

i think i go through bouts of depression, andtake it out on her, and she is bipolar, so that causes even more argments, i know what you are talking about.....if you figure anything out let me knw, because i could sure use some help....i too find myself treating my wife like a child at times..i know it isnt right, and i feel bad for it, but i find myself doing it alot...sometimes its the only way i feel i can get through,lol

That is what I was getting at. I feel that talking to her like a child is the only way sometimes she will understand what I want or what I want her to do.
Maybe we need a female perspective on this one. Where is Mck.?

[jipped genes]

Re: WTF?!?!?!?!?

been married 15 years. i found the best thing is to swallow your pride and quietly support her. pick your battles and dont sweat the small stuff.

really, just listen and think before you speak. i found if i respect my wife more she respects me more. harder than it seems though.

my wife started painting a room i just finished. i was gonna tell her she needed a drop cloth. she got paint on our new carpet. i just let it slide. i asked her if she needed anything, she said if i would go buy a drop cloth she would appreciate it. i smiled and got one. all it cost me was a small spot of paint on my carpet but no arguing

good luck

oh yeah counseling does work and many insurances pay for it

[kite]

Re: WTF?!?!?!?!?

I think we all go through phases like that. There were a couple of weeks where me and the wife were at each others throats pretty much constantly. IMO, ya just gotta talk it out as best you can, get some alone time and just ride it out. I always look at it as a transition period ya know?

[SMILEY FACE]

Re: WTF?!?!?!?!?

I'AM NOT MARRIED BUT BEEN THERE BRO WT MY PREVIOUS EX, BEST THING U CAN SAY OR DO AND EVEN IF UUUUUUUUUUUUU WERE RIGHT AND SHE WAS WRONG, SAY: YES/OK HONEY, U ARE RIGHT... I LOVE U BABY

[mick-G]

Re: WTF?!?!?!?!?

Well, Mikey is actually right depending on the situation and what the argument is about. If you drastically disagree on serious topics, I would have to know more details. Women and men basically think very differently, and if you are on cycle or just off, even into pct, anything can set you off. What i do, is b4 i know im going to get angry or upset, i try to think it out in my head first, remembering and saying to myself "Calm down dude", and then think of alternative solutions. Sometime though it is best just to say "Ok honey whatever you want and make you happy". How long you been married now? You can pm or send me an email if youd like.

[alluprbdy]

Re: WTF?!?!?!?!?

I think Jipped genes has it down smae thing I do with my long term GF. Shes a little emotionaly unstable so theres times where she can just flat out be a bit#h and especially when her dad pisses her off or her mom bc theyre bith aholes to her then shell take that out on me. I just kiss ass make her feel like a princess, take her out to a nice dinner, call to say you love her in the middle of the day, send flowers to her work, and bassicly its the little things that meake the difference. Then shell appoligize and your better for a while.

[TestRip7]

Re: WTF?!?!?!?!?

^^

Is this what it all boils down to. Making the woman happy no matter what even if it is her fault. I'm just asking from some of these guys who have been married for 10+ years. I'm begining to think that I am to selfish and to much of an a hole to get married.

[T-Man007]

Re: WTF?!?!?!?!?

Thanks guys, I really appreciate the advice. I can tell you this, I know I'm to blame for most of it due to being very quick to respond. I've always been that way. I'm not on right now or on pct. I just over reacted to something that wasn't as big as I made it. From my point of view, what she did was disrespectful, but what I did (talking down to her) was even more disrespectful....and....I did it in front of another person. That's what really blew it out of the water.

But, on the flip side, she gets real defensive over nothing too. I guess we need some 'us' time and get the romance going. We've just been stressed out becaue of bills and stuff. Between her miscarriage in August and my torn Achilles in September, we used up the entire $5,000 deductible on our insurance and work was slower than normal last year. So, this stress is on both of us and it makes the smallest things into big arguements.

I don't know, maybe I need to go to a counselor and get my act together. I know if she felt completely loved, then we would probably fight less. It's just hard when you are stressed out about stuff.

[alluprbdy]

Re: WTF?!?!?!?!?

itl be fine bro for sure every relationship has its ups and downs if it werent for times like these than the great times wouldnt be as great, theyd be just a normal day like any other

[mick-G]

Re: WTF?!?!?!?!?

I know you are going to laugh, but really try taking some holy basil. It is doing wonders for me. It is damn cheap if you get the Now brand. It will really calms you down and you will be able to handle stress alot better. I was taking 1 a day, but i take 2 a day now. They are 600mg ea. My wife takes it as well, but only 1 a day. You have to look at too whether your wife is really moody normally or has bad pms. If you put that together with stress and if your cortisol is off you can both be going at each others throats.

[OldWiseGuy]

Re: WTF?!?!?!?!?

Sometimes you just have to put her in her place. But before you do. Ask yourself how freaking important is this stuff I'm going to battle the one I love over? Also avoid personal attacks and blaming each other cus nobody wins those.