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1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role
model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."
2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming
> season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes
> first."
>
> 3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my
> own mother to win the Super Bowl, "Matt Millen of the Raiders said:
> "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."
>
> 4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John
> Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
>
> 5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996:
> "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman
> Einstein."
>
> 6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm
> going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (now that
> is beautiful).
>
> 7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up
> alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three,
> and then line up in a circle."
>
> 8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison: "Why would
> anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three
> years, not Princeton."
>
> 9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he
> keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget
> how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
>
> 10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the spartan training regimen
> of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock
> in the morning regardless of what time it is."
>
> 11. Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining
> to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My
> sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an
> aunt." (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)
>
> 12. Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told
> him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said,
> 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"
>
> 13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he
> told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like
> you're spending too much time on one subject."
>
> 14. Amarillo High School and Houston Oilers coach Bum Phillips when
> asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips,
> Phillips responded: "Because she is too damn ugly to kiss good-
> bye."
model: "I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."
2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming
> season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes
> first."
>
> 3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the 'Skins say: "I'd run over my
> own mother to win the Super Bowl, "Matt Millen of the Raiders said:
> "To win, I'd run over Joe's Mom, too."
>
> 4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John
> Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
>
> 5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996:
> "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman
> Einstein."
>
> 6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I'm
> going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes." (now that
> is beautiful).
>
> 7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys line up
> alphabetically by height." And, "You guys pair up in groups of three,
> and then line up in a circle."
>
> 8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison: "Why would
> anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three
> years, not Princeton."
>
> 9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he
> keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That's so when I forget
> how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes."
>
> 10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the spartan training regimen
> of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock
> in the morning regardless of what time it is."
>
> 11. Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining
> to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My
> sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an
> aunt." (I wonder if his IQ ever hit room temperature in January)
>
> 12. Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told
> him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said,
> 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"
>
> 13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he
> told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks to me like
> you're spending too much time on one subject."
>
> 14. Amarillo High School and Houston Oilers coach Bum Phillips when
> asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips,
> Phillips responded: "Because she is too damn ugly to kiss good-
> bye."
