Personal satisfaction or public attention??

[angryoldman]

Here's a hypothetical for everyone. And BE HONEST!!!
Let's say you had a friend who has cancer. And because of the cancer, they were going through financial difficulty. And it's a VERY good friend. Now, this friend is about to lose their home because of all the medical bills and stuff. They are behind on their mortgage severely. And you know your friend is not one for charity. They don't want or like when people help them out. It embarrases them.
NOW, you have the chance to help this friend out financially. Even pay their mortgage off for them. Would you:
A) Make a private donation to your friend without YOUR own name being mentioned, because it would make you feel good inside.
or
B) Would you have to make it known it was you making the donation. because you figure, "Phuque, that's a lot of money coming out of my pocket. I want everyone to know I was the one that paid it off!"

BE HONEST!!!

[gymdiva]

Re: Personal satisfaction or public attention??

since you said the friend is the way he is with "handouts" then I would make it anonymous...if he corners you about it be like, I don't know what you're talking about, it was the donation fairy...

[mick-G]

Re: Personal satisfaction or public attention??

I would personally only make it out to the prospected companies that need to be paid off not to him personally. Depends too on if this person has a family, like wife and kids. I myself have been in too many situations where iam taken advantage of.

[kite]

Re: Personal satisfaction or public attention??

I don't think you should ever give to be recognized no matter how large or small the sum donated. If I were in this position, I'd do it completely annomously and act flabergasted when the friend told me what happened.

[angryoldman]

Re: Personal satisfaction or public attention??

Good input everyone. But I have the feeling people are answering the way we would want you to answer. So you mean to tell me you would take, say, $60,000 out of your own pocket and donate it anonymously to someone, without ever having the truth be known it was you who made the donation? You'll never have the chance to look like a hero, and you're OK with that? Again, just asking.

[Scalleywag]

Re: Personal satisfaction or public attention??

With out a doubt keep it annomous. I am a firm believer that everything comes to the light no matter what. Even if no one ever found out it was you who gave you will be blessed in some other area of your life.

[kite]

Re: Personal satisfaction or public attention??

Good input everyone. But I have the feeling people are answering the way we would want you to answer. So you mean to tell me you would take, say, $60,000 out of your own pocket and donate it anonymously to someone, without ever having the truth be known it was you who made the donation? You'll never have the chance to look like a hero, and you're OK with that? Again, just asking.

Dude, if I had an extra 60k laying around that I could do something that cool with, I honestly wouldn't want any recognition for it at all. It would be enough to know that my friend had this kinda weight lifted. That's just how I was brought up.

[Lily]

Re: Personal satisfaction or public attention??

If it was my best friend and she needed help and I could afford it, yes I would help and not say anything....and if she asks I would tell only her and if she complained, i would say too damn bad, I love you and am helping!

[TestRip7]

Re: Personal satisfaction or public attention??

If I could afford to offer that or any amount of money to a good friend and lift such a huge burden off their shoulders I would absolutely do it anonomyously. Like someone else said just knowing that you helped them out that much would mean more to me than any type of recognition. The only important person that see's you made the donation is all knowing and all seeing anyway.

[Archamage]

Re: Personal satisfaction or public attention??

Choice A. For me, it's a no-brainer.

[angryoldman]

Re: Personal satisfaction or public attention??

Very very interesting.

[kite]

Re: Personal satisfaction or public attention??

Very very interesting.

Why do you ask, and why do you find the responses so interesting.

[BigDawg]

Re: Personal satisfaction or public attention??

I fi had the money to do so i would do like mick said and pay the mortgage off through the bank directly and keep my friend out of the situation so as to avoid him feeling weird about the "handout" and also to spare myself the uncomfortable attention of being acknowledged. I honestly have an issue with doing things for public acknowledgement. Anytime i do anything for anyone be it a homeless person who needs a few bucks or a friend who may be in this situation i prefer to do it on the DL. I don't remember too awful much about chapter and verse from my catholic school upbringing but i remember something about doing your good deeds in private as God sees all things and not be a hypocrite who makes a big deal about their donations and deeds so that is my stance.

[T-Man007]

Re: Personal satisfaction or public attention??

I would pull the wife aside and tell her to give you the mortgage payment book or the last payment received and tell her not to say anything. Then, pay it off. That's what I would do is the person was stubborn. After it's paid, tell him that he owes you nothing and if he needs anything else to just ask.

Or, I would send a certified check to them from your bank without any return info. It's the deeds we do in private that make us true givers. Of course, I know that kind of man you are and I know you aren't looking for 'credit' for the gift.

If it was me and I was in your shoes I would do one of those things. If they are both stubborn I would do the second one. No one in their right mind would just throw away a check like that. Then, after it's done, you can tell just him and him only so they he knows who it came from. Tell him you don't want anything except for him to not have to wonder who it was.

When I tore my Achilles there were several people from church who gave us money to help with the medical bills. I make decent money, but when your deductible is $5k, well, that's coming out of my pocket. I don't have $5k just laying around. I have it saved but it's for investing. I told the church we would be fine and not to give money and so people just did it annonimously. We never asked for one dollar, people just did it on their own. So, I learned a lesson in receiving. Even though I had the money, people wanted to help. I swallowed my pride and paid the money towards medical bills. I still have to come out of pocket but it's been nice knowing I don't have to come out of pocket for all of it. I had to learn, its not charity, it's a gift. It's no different than buying a friend lunch. If you have the money, you do nice things for people you care about and that's all it is.

[angryoldman]

Re: Personal satisfaction or public attention??

Why do you ask, and why do you find the responses so interesting.

Coming from a psychological standpoint, I find human reaction to certain things interesting. Nothing more, nothing less.