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My Fiancee's Brother - Need Help

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  • My Fiancee's Brother - Need Help

    Ok just to start off by giving you a backround on this mofo. He's 21, probably worked maybe 3 months his entire life. He lives under his great aunt's roof who is 81 years old, sweetest lady in the world. Now....he recently got put on this special probation where the local police dept., could at anytime they wish, come to the house and give him a random drug test, because in the past 8 months he's been arrested twice in two different local towns, for possession of pot, along with another girl who is taking the rap for it. He's been in and out of court several times, both cases have still not been solved yet. This kid has a very bad temper problem, very VERY disrespectful, has punched holes in the walls, windows in the doors because he couldn't get in the house so thats what he does. Recently he stole money from his great aunt, and more recently, spit in her face, now who the FUK would ever spit in an 81 year olds face?? Only him. His mother also stays with them, and she not a good role model at all, it almost seems like she is really weak against him because every sentence that comes out of his mouth has at least 2-3 curse words in it, along with screaming. She is never really around either. He owes money to the hospital, cell phone company and the bank. He has the collection agencies calling all the time asking for him cause he owes all this money to these places. So basically he has no bank accounts, no cell phone, no car, keeps losing his license, no credit cards, only 2 friends that constantly get high and drink all the time, and these days it's monkey see monkey do. I don't even let him near my daughter because if I see him I will whip his ass into the ground. He's yelled and cursed in front of her several times, and he's lucky I wasn't there. One day a few months ago he mombled something about me, and I chased him out of the house and he booked it down the street. The kid is just such a god damn prick I can't understand why he acts like this. He treats everyone like garbage and doesn't care about anyone by himself.
    Im afraid he's gonna do something incredibly bad one day, cause when he drinks, he gets nuts. He's 5'8" 130lbs, lightweight, and pounds beers and shots like water.
    So here's my question, I have close connections with my local police dept. and work for law enforcement, but not in this field. My fiancee said one day she found pot in his room when she went over there cause she was suspicious. Now I know he's doing pot every night, during the day he does nothing but sleep and pace around the house all day, doesn't do any chores or anything, just a lazy ass bum. Do you think it would be right if I had the suspicion he was smoking one night that I should call the cops and have him arrested? I mean I really believe the only way he'll get a taught a good valueable lesson here is by going to jail, or getting the shit kicked out of him, then going to jail. Because everyone tries to talk to him and tell him to get a job already and get on the right path, because he constantly complains about money, but refuses to work, he steals money, or gets money from his mother and father, which I always tell them not to give him anything. I just feel he'll only learn fom the hard way, cause no matter what I or anyone tells him, he just finds a way to make excuses, yells at you, talks all kinds of crap, and walks away. I know he is prolly doing smoking right right as I type this cause I went over there earlier to visit to make sure his great aunt was ok and I saw him come in, and leave real quick through the back door and was acting weird about it so I know he's up to something. There's so much more I can type about this kid but I'd be here all night.

  • #2
    Re: My Fiancee's Brother - Need Help

    Vette, it sounds like he has had more than his fair share of chances to better himself. I would probaly want to do the same thing as far as having him arrested. I would talk with your wife about the whole deal and see how she feels about it. Some people need their head smashed into the ground before they will learn anything.



    Disclaimer: Any information that TestRip7 shares is strictly for entertainment and role playing purposes only. TestRip7 is a fictional character and in no way condones the use of any illegal substances or activities otherwise.

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    • #3
      Re: My Fiancee's Brother - Need Help

      He needs to truly hit rock bottom before he will realize his mistakes and make an honest from the heart change. If you force that hand he'll probably just resent it and become filled with more hate.

      What needs to be done is his family needs to tell him that he can't live there anymore. Eventually he'll have to get a job, and learn responsibility. But aslong as they keep bailing out, he'll continue to be a jackass!

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      • #4
        Re: My Fiancee's Brother - Need Help

        He sounds like a typical jive ass 21 year old to me. Jail is only going to turn him into a better asshole, he thinks what he's doing is fine...so how do you get it in his head that being a worthless shitbag, and spitting in ones (especially and elder) face will get you killed is the question ? thing is everyone nowadays just lets their kids do what they want. have some balls and get involved for cryin' out loud !! rather than let him be someone elses pain in the ass.
        Leaders did what others weren't willing to do, now they enjoy the things that others do not.

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        • #5
          Re: My Fiancee's Brother - Need Help

          It perhaps is too late for him to change.? I seriously doubt he would go to some type of rehab or inhouse counceling. Is there not someone with authority in his life? Someone must step up to the plate and tell him like it is, even if it takes a small group of you to get together and get him there so you can try to discuss his problems, and alternatives for changing his life like rehab or inhouse counseling. You and your families must do the research first and have something lined up, not empty talk with no backup. Bring in a counselor with alot of experience dealing with this. Almost like an intervention. If neither of these methods are doable, then all of you are going to have to take the hard approach and disassociate yourselfs with him. Have his great grandmother kick him out and have someone there to evict him with a restraining order. If he comes to any of your properties then call the police and get restraining orders at all your residences. Let him get out on his own, even if he has to live on the streets. If he doen't accept this help, he is not yours or anyone elses responsiblity. He is his own problem.

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          • #6
            Re: My Fiancee's Brother - Need Help

            DJ SUMMED IT UP A INDIVIDUAL HAS TO HIT ROCK BOTTOM BEFORE HE WANTS HELP. HE NEEDS TO BE REMOVED FROM THE HOUSE AND EVEN IF HE GETS WORSE ITS NOBODYS FAULT.INABLING IS A FACTOR HERE.KEEPING A TROUBLE KID OR A ADDICT AT HOME AND HE DOES NOTHING HE MUST GO.GREAT POST DJDIGGLER.ROCK BOTTOM ROCK BOTTOM ROCK BOTTOM.
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            • #7
              Re: My Fiancee's Brother - Need Help

              I'm with DJdiggler and Fuzo!
              NO PAIN, NO GAIN
              KNOW PAIN, KNOW GAIN





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              • #8
                Re: My Fiancee's Brother - Need Help

                dj's right. i got a brother that had prob's, and my dad always came to his rescue....finally i got my dad to let him get hammered. no expensive lawyer, no bail money...hammered! that was 10 years ago and he's still clean, married, and has 7 kids! owns his own biz, and doing well!
                HE WHO MAKES A BEAST OF HIMSELF, GET'S RID OF THE PAIN OF BEING A MAN!!


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                • #9
                  Re: My Fiancee's Brother - Need Help

                  well thats the thing, something will happen and he will hit rock bottom one day, and thats the only way I learn. He won't go seek professional help.

                  a couple years ago I remember he got so drunk at my fiancee's brother-in-laws house. He stole a bottle of vodka and chugged it down. Then when we couldn't find him, we all ran around the neighborhood and found him running in the middle of the street trying to get hit by a car.

                  I'm gonna wait till he gets his first random drug test, then see what happens with that. He still has to deal with 2 different court cases for his arrests, so hopefully he'll do some time or something.

                  He's just a really badly messed up kid, I feel bad for him, but at the same time, I don't. His father has tried, his father is the president of his union squad of carpenters in NYC and got him right up to the front and got him the job starting out at $1k a week, he lasted 3 months, then quit cause he was sick of the ride to NY everyday, ever since down it's been downhill.

                  A while ago I even offered him to work PT for my company and he didn't even wanna do that, so I don't know, I give up on the kid. He talks shit to my fiancee sometimes. He acts so tough in front of women, but he backs down when I'm around.

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                  • #10
                    Re: My Fiancee's Brother - Need Help

                    DJ and Fuzo hit it.

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                    • #11
                      Re: My Fiancee's Brother - Need Help

                      Man this is a tuff situation bro. How does your fiance feel about here brother? I am afraid the guys are correct. He isnt going to change untill he feels that he has to for himself. He needs to be put out on his own and maybe he would wake up a little when he sees that he has nothing and no one to turn to. I am suprised that the threat of jail time hasnt scared him to straighten up some. It may not be real to him yet. Being high all the time will distort reality. Wish I had the answer for you buddy but take it from a guy that use to be there himself about 17 years ago, he wont change till he gets ready to do it for himself.

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                      • #12
                        Re: My Fiancee's Brother - Need Help

                        Bro..its very tough..My main concern is he finds out that u got him set up and locked up in jail, and once he gets out, he might do something bad to your daughter..i know u will criple his ass, but then u dont need any troubless...
                        if i was u, he aint gonna listen to nobody unless HE FALLS ALL THE WAY DOWN AND THEN WILL REALIZE..TALKING TO HIM AINT GONNA DO SHIT..LET HIM LEARN THE HARD WAY AND TASTE HOW IT WILL FEELS....

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                        • #13
                          Re: My Fiancee's Brother - Need Help

                          Yea I feel ya bro. He won't find out if I do set him up cause like I said his probation officer can at any time give him a random drug test.
                          Surprisingly the only credit I'll give him is he has been a decent uncle to our daughter, she is the only person he is nice to. Him and I used to talk, but the past year it has gone down the toilet bad, now when we see eye to eye, I give him a death look. But I do feel like he'll do something bad to his great aunt, cause he's pyscho enough to do it.
                          I know the only way he'll learn is when he's sitting in a cell for a while and has time to think about all his stupidity and mistakes.
                          I dont know how it works if they did give him a drug test and he failed. I know that if he didn't show up for the test, or wasn't home when they attempt to contact him and he doesn't call them or show up at anytime that that could be jail time. I'm not sure exactly how the whole thing works, if somebody knows, please enlighten me.

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                          • #14
                            Re: My Fiancee's Brother - Need Help

                            Originally posted by mtnmedic View Post
                            He sounds like a typical jive ass 21 year old to me. Jail is only going to turn him into a better asshole, he thinks what he's doing is fine...so how do you get it in his head that being a worthless shitbag, and spitting in ones (especially and elder) face will get you killed is the question ? thing is everyone nowadays just lets their kids do what they want. have some balls and get involved for cryin' out loud !! rather than let him be someone elses pain in the ass.
                            I agree on that ^ thing is everyone nowadays just lets their kids do what they want. have some balls and get involved for cryin' out loud !! but Dj's answer is right solution .
                            "Workout each rep till I drop the uglyiest , meanest face"

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                            • #15
                              Re: My Fiancee's Brother - Need Help

                              And believe me I wish I could teach him a lesson myself and kick the crap out of him, but he's not worth getting in trouble over. I'll lose my job and maybe even my business if I get arrested. He's threatened me before cause he knows I wanna beat the shit out of him and told me he'll call the cops on me which I just laugh at. Im not worried, he'll say shit to someone else he doesn't know and get his ass kicked, better someone else than me cause I would bash his skull open in a heartbeat.

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