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LETTER FROM THE PENIS TO MANAGEMENT
DEAR MANAGEMENT.
I THE PENIS, HEREBY REQUEST A RAISE IN SALARY FOR THE FOLLOWING REASONS.
1: I DO PHYSICAL LABOR
2: I WORK AT GREAT DEPTHS
3: I PLUNGE HEAD FIRST INTO EVERYTHING I DO
4: I DO NOT GET WEEKENDS OR PUBLIC HOLIDAYS OFF
5: I WORK IN DAMP ENVIRONMENTS
6: I DON'T GET PAID OVERTIME
7: I WORK IN A DARK WORKPLACE THAT HAS POOR VENTILATION
8: I WORK IN HIGH TEMPARATURES
AND ALSO, MY WORK EXPOSES ME TO CONTAGIOUS DISEASES
************************************************** **
DEAR PENIS
AFTER ASSESSING YOUR REQUEST, AND CONSIDERING THE ARGUMENTS YOU HAVE RAISED, THE ADMINISTRATION REJECTS YOUR REQUEST FOR THE FOLLOWING REASONS.
1: YOU CANNOT WORK EIGHT HOURS STRAIGHT.
2:YOU FALL ASLEEP ON THE JOB
AFTER BRIEF WORKK PEROIDS
3: YOU DO NOT ALWAYS FOLLOW THE ORDERS OF THE MANAGEMENT TEAM
4: YOU DO NOT STAY IN YOUR DESIGNATED AREA, AND ARE OFTEN SEEN VISITING OTHER LOCATIONS
5: YOU DO NOT TAKE INITIATIVE- YOU NEED TO BE PRESSURED AND STIMULATED IN ORDER TO STAY WORKING
6: YOU LEAVE THE WORKPLACE RATHER MESSY AFTER YOUR SHIFT
7: YOU DON'T ALWAYS OBSERVE NECESSARY SAFTEY REGULATIONS SUCH AS WEARING THE CORRECT PROTECTIVE CLOTHING
8: YOU WILL RETIRE WELL BEFORE YOU ARE SIXTY-FIVE
9: YOU ARE UNABLE TO WORK DOUBLE SHIFTS
10:YOU SOMETIMES LEAVE YOUR DESIGNATED WORK BEFORE YOU HNAVE COMPLETED THE ASSIGNED TASK
11: AND IF THAT WERE NOT ALL, YOU HAVE BEEN SEEN CONSTANTLY ENTERING AND EXITING THE WORKPLACE CARRYING TWO SUSPICIOUS LOOKING BAGS.
SINCERELY
THE MANAGEMENT
DEAR MANAGEMENT.
I THE PENIS, HEREBY REQUEST A RAISE IN SALARY FOR THE FOLLOWING REASONS.
1: I DO PHYSICAL LABOR
2: I WORK AT GREAT DEPTHS
3: I PLUNGE HEAD FIRST INTO EVERYTHING I DO
4: I DO NOT GET WEEKENDS OR PUBLIC HOLIDAYS OFF
5: I WORK IN DAMP ENVIRONMENTS
6: I DON'T GET PAID OVERTIME
7: I WORK IN A DARK WORKPLACE THAT HAS POOR VENTILATION
8: I WORK IN HIGH TEMPARATURES
AND ALSO, MY WORK EXPOSES ME TO CONTAGIOUS DISEASES
************************************************** **
DEAR PENIS
AFTER ASSESSING YOUR REQUEST, AND CONSIDERING THE ARGUMENTS YOU HAVE RAISED, THE ADMINISTRATION REJECTS YOUR REQUEST FOR THE FOLLOWING REASONS.
1: YOU CANNOT WORK EIGHT HOURS STRAIGHT.
2:YOU FALL ASLEEP ON THE JOB
AFTER BRIEF WORKK PEROIDS
3: YOU DO NOT ALWAYS FOLLOW THE ORDERS OF THE MANAGEMENT TEAM
4: YOU DO NOT STAY IN YOUR DESIGNATED AREA, AND ARE OFTEN SEEN VISITING OTHER LOCATIONS
5: YOU DO NOT TAKE INITIATIVE- YOU NEED TO BE PRESSURED AND STIMULATED IN ORDER TO STAY WORKING
6: YOU LEAVE THE WORKPLACE RATHER MESSY AFTER YOUR SHIFT
7: YOU DON'T ALWAYS OBSERVE NECESSARY SAFTEY REGULATIONS SUCH AS WEARING THE CORRECT PROTECTIVE CLOTHING
8: YOU WILL RETIRE WELL BEFORE YOU ARE SIXTY-FIVE
9: YOU ARE UNABLE TO WORK DOUBLE SHIFTS
10:YOU SOMETIMES LEAVE YOUR DESIGNATED WORK BEFORE YOU HNAVE COMPLETED THE ASSIGNED TASK
11: AND IF THAT WERE NOT ALL, YOU HAVE BEEN SEEN CONSTANTLY ENTERING AND EXITING THE WORKPLACE CARRYING TWO SUSPICIOUS LOOKING BAGS.
SINCERELY
THE MANAGEMENT
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