Hard Night

[pigmeat]

Re: Hard Night

You should try and work it out.....

[lxorl]

Re: Hard Night

she was young.. and that probably had a lot to do with it.. but not in the ways you had said... she had sowed oats plenty before we got together..... and we were not a clingy, have to do everything together couple. We did our seperate things a lot.

I was pretty irritated that she only set aside 1.5 hours for me... it was kinda insulting that she had to hurry off to hang out with a bunch of other people she barely knew from school.

I also told her some recient news about my family and asked her not to tell her parents about it.... and her responses was... "ohhhh I cant tell my parents I met you". I was pretty insulted by this too. 1. I never did anything bad to her for her parents not to like me.... and 2. i was your husband, if your parents dont like it , tell them to FU(k off!!

Could it be that maybe she or the both of you were just too young?, or maybe she needed to sew her oats? I mean like maybe she wanted to go out with friends, and go out with other guys and maybe you were the stable one? Reason i ask is that i know guys that have gone out with girls and they were the only guy they went out with, then they get married and all of a sudden they feel trapped and want to go out clubbing and meet other ppl, so all of a sudden they split. Sounds funny you saying that she aloted you 1.5 hr, like she has plans that are that important that she can't be with a person she was married to. So she plays all this emotional crap on you, only to split? I wouldn't give her the time of day.

[AmericanViking]

Re: Hard Night

Wow, that's rough dude. I feel for ya. You remained pretty firm.... don't think I could have done that!

[mick-G]

Re: Hard Night

Ixorl, iam only going on my experiences since i don't really know what went on with you and your ex. I had a similar situation in my early 20's. I married young and my ex was only 18 when we first started dating. We were both young, but i was ready in my mind for marriage, where with her, i think she liked the novelty of it. Then after marriage(about 1.5yr) she wanted to go out with her friends more, like almost every night, stay out late and party. Then her thing was to call about 1am and want to stay over, lol! Of course you have to understand this was the 70's, so needless to say there was alot of partying going on and drugs. I tried to work things out with her, as i was not into divorice, but she had her mind made up not even thinking about working things out. She was more interested in parties and going out with friends. I remember how deceitfull she was, even when i was trying to work things out after she left, i remember doing laundry over my parents and her calling acting all friendly and talking to me about working things out, all the while she was calling from our apartment and cleaning her stuff out behind my back. My question to you is..was she the one to actually get the divorice (file)? If she wanted out, why now is she wanting to see you and is getting all emotional on you (putting her head on your shoulder etc)? Why can she not tell her parents? To me it is obvious that she prob said some not nice things about you and her parents prob don't have good feelings about you because of this. Is she living at home?, because this is kind of an immature way of going about things. Maybe you now are just a go-between. In other words, maybe she doesn't have anyone now, so she wants to keep you on a leash if she doesn't find anybody. Imo, if a woman is determined to get a divorice from you and split without giving you a thought, then why would you give them the time of day? and Closure??.... from what?, and what did this meeting you had provide as far as closure? To me it is only a ploy for her to keep you around untill she finally meets that guy shes not finding, then you will be dumped like a pile of waste. Remember, she did not care about your feelings when she split, so why would she care now? I really wish you the best Bro, but this kinda stuff just pisses me off when i hear it, and it is really a big waste of your time in finding your own mate and future. Take charge of your life and stop wasting your time on the past and learn from it. There are so many good women out there you can be dating (no commitments), and wait till you find the one that makes you happy and is putting you on top.

[lxorl]

Re: Hard Night

she already has a man.. and lives in DC, i am in FL.... i dont see any motive behind meeting up other than she was in town and we wanted to see eachother. she isnt trying to keep me on a leish at all. we rarely talk now.


she was not going out and partying all night or anything like that..... we just went our sperate ways... and it was obvious we were not going to work. I am glad we can be on good terms.

Ixorl, iam only going on my experiences since i don't really know what went on with you and your ex. I had a similar situation in my early 20's. I married young and my ex was only 18 when we first started dating. We were both young, but i was ready in my mind for marriage, where with her, i think she liked the novelty of it. Then after marriage(about 1.5yr) she wanted to go out with her friends more, like almost every night, stay out late and party. Then her thing was to call about 1am and want to stay over, lol! Of course you have to understand this was the 70's, so needless to say there was alot of partying going on and drugs. I tried to work things out with her, as i was not into divorice, but she had her mind made up not even thinking about working things out. She was more interested in parties and going out with friends. I remember how deceitfull she was, even when i was trying to work things out after she left, i remember doing laundry over my parents and her calling acting all friendly and talking to me about working things out, all the while she was calling from our apartment and cleaning her stuff out behind my back. My question to you is..was she the one to actually get the divorice (file)? If she wanted out, why now is she wanting to see you and is getting all emotional on you (putting her head on your shoulder etc)? Why can she not tell her parents? To me it is obvious that she prob said some not nice things about you and her parents prob don't have good feelings about you because of this. Is she living at home?, because this is kind of an immature way of going about things. Maybe you now are just a go-between. In other words, maybe she doesn't have anyone now, so she wants to keep you on a leash if she doesn't find anybody. Imo, if a woman is determined to get a divorice from you and split without giving you a thought, then why would you give them the time of day? and Closure??.... from what?, and what did this meeting you had provide as far as closure? To me it is only a ploy for her to keep you around untill she finally meets that guy shes not finding, then you will be dumped like a pile of waste. Remember, she did not care about your feelings when she split, so why would she care now? I really wish you the best Bro, but this kinda stuff just pisses me off when i hear it, and it is really a big waste of your time in finding your own mate and future. Take charge of your life and stop wasting your time on the past and learn from it. There are so many good women out there you can be dating (no commitments), and wait till you find the one that makes you happy and is putting you on top.

[mick-G]

Re: Hard Night

Hmm..She has a man in DC and wants to see you, and putting her head on you while laying on the sofa?? Your talking about how you could have had her if you wanted?? I feel sorry for this man in DC, lol! Oh, i wasn't saying that she is was doing the same as my long forgotten ex, lol! just using it as an example. Iam just wondering why she doesn't want you to say anything to her parents about you and her? So you are saying that she is being honest in this? i don't know...?

[pigmeat]

Re: Hard Night

i would have hit it...a grudge Fu*K.....real hard and nasty,lo!!!!

[lxorl]

Re: Hard Night

i thought it was insulting she wasnt gonna tell her parents we met up... her mom is a nosey opinionated *****..... my X will never hear the end of it so i can somewhat understand why... but i still say tell mom to F-off!!

it wasnt really romantic... it was more like we miss eachother... we pretty m uch split up because she realized we were not right... not because she didnt love me... or someoen was cheating.... so its kinda hard to just let go. we were together 6 years and when we saw eachother we wanted to touch eachother .. hug eachother.... its something very familure that is recently gone.

Hmm..She has a man in DC and wants to see you, and putting her head on you while laying on the sofa?? Your talking about how you could have had her if you wanted?? I feel sorry for this man in DC, lol! Oh, i wasn't saying that she is was doing the same as my long forgotten ex, lol! just using it as an example. Iam just wondering why she doesn't want you to say anything to her parents about you and her? So you are saying that she is being honest in this? i don't know...?

[lxorl]

Re: Hard Night

i would have loved to have hit it... and i could tell she wanted it too.... but its probably for the best that it didnt happen... it took me a while to get to this point.

i told her if her and her new man fall through to come visit me for a weekend.... i think by then i could handle it.

i would have hit it...a grudge Fu*K.....real hard and nasty,lo!!!!

[mick-G]

Re: Hard Night

Well..good luck! Sounds like you still have feelings for her. I would just find it hard myself to rehash at least in your mind what is clearly over with having an ex come over to visit. I mean what is the point? Only way i would do that is for some consensual sex, if you both agree to not tie emotions to it, but it seems both of you still have feelings. Whatever happened to that brunette you were seeing? That to me would be the better option.

[lxorl]

Re: Hard Night

im not thinking of the X as an option..... I know we will both have feelings for eachother for ever. Its just how it is. But i have also accepted we will never be together and its probably for the best. Right now i probably couldnt do it.... but yeah, down the road i could meet up for a fun sex filled weekend. its what we were best at anyway.

I still see the Brunet, but she lives in VA and I am in FL. We see eachother when we can, but its months between.

Well..good luck! Sounds like you still have feelings for her. I would just find it hard myself to rehash at least in your mind what is clearly over with having an ex come over to visit. I mean what is the point? Only way i would do that is for some consensual sex, if you both agree to not tie emotions to it, but it seems both of you still have feelings. Whatever happened to that brunette you were seeing? That to me would be the better option.