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You are not an asshole or a *****, more like an asshole and ***** target. You have no backbone, and fold at even a slightly insincere look. Stop crying, you wuss.
You may think you are an asshole or a *****, but the truth is you are a good person at heart. Yeah sure, you can have a mean streak in you, but most of the people you meet like you.
You are one of those people that love to hear the sound of their voice. That and your lousy attitude make for a mixture as toxic next-day-mexican-dinner-ass-drip.
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