Things you'll never see in a Hallmark card

[angryoldman]

My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~

Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

Looking back over the years
that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

"What the hell was I thinking?"



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.

! ;~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~

How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.

After having met you ..

I've changed my mind.

-------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------

I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.



//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.



################################################## ##

Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.

************************************************** ******************************

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Alabama)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~

Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~

When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.



//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

We have been friends for a very long time ..
let's say we stop?



++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++

I'm so miserable without you
it's almost like you're here.



================================================== ===

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?



%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Your friends and I wanted to do
something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep.



)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's really good pay

[NATE]

Re: Things you'll never see in a Hallmark card

We have been friends for a very long time ..
let's say we stop?


lmao!

[crombie09]

Re: Things you'll never see in a Hallmark card

Haha. These are funny. Reps nucka!

[Lily]

Re: Things you'll never see in a Hallmark card



Those were great..I tried repping,

[FUZO]

Re: Things you'll never see in a Hallmark card

Those were great..I tried repping,

YOU MEAN HOOCHING

[daved150]

Re: Things you'll never see in a Hallmark card

lmao...someone needs to make those...there's a couple i could use!

[angryoldman]

Re: Things you'll never see in a Hallmark card

My favorite:
How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?

[daved150]

Re: Things you'll never see in a Hallmark card

My favorite:
How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?

i like the knife in the back one...i could use a box of those in this buisness!

[Lily]

Re: Things you'll never see in a Hallmark card

YOU MEAN HOOCHING

[T-Man007]

Re: Things you'll never see in a Hallmark card

Looking back over the years
that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

"What the hell was I thinking?"


That's my favorite.

[kite]

Re: Things you'll never see in a Hallmark card

funny stuff

[Waterboy]

Re: Things you'll never see in a Hallmark card

reps for you