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Subject: FW: Oldies but goodies
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are
considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have
branches?
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the
clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured
out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when
babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called
a hearing?
If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will
they fire you?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put
money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
How come we choose from just two people for President
and fifty for Miss America?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're
going to see you naked anyway.
If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she
call?
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet
soup?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I
think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes
out!"
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the
toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the
freezer?
When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why
do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked
for your license, are you going to be smiling?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a
stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool
lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio
out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the
time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom
is?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all
fours? They're both dogs!
What do you call male ballerinas?
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?
If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME
crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made
from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come
from morons?
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a
mouse?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star
have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the
hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face,
he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his
head out the window?
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address
in the first place?
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