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I got up early yesterday – as usual – and went to the gym to get my morning cardio out of the way before I had to go see my doctor. Well, I’ve been having a hell of a time lately with moths around my house. Within the past month there have been a ton of monarch butterflies and now it’s a million phucking moths that hang out by the house. Especially in the mornings and evening when I have lights on throughout the house.
So, yesterday morning I was getting into my truck and when the cabin light came on it attracted a moth – and this phucker was huge – and he was flying around the inside of my truck. I hate the little bastards with a passion. So I tried to get the damn thing out but I couldn’t and eventually he landed somewhere in the cab and I couldn’t find it because it was pitch dark outside. Bastard!
Anyway, I jump in my truck and start heading to the gym. (Key in the horror music). Paranoid like Jason from Friday the 13th fame is going to jump out of the back seat with a butcher knife and hack my damn head off. While I’m driving down the road I decide to open my window in hopes that this little phucker would start flying around and then get sucked out one of my windows. I continue driving down the road with just my front two windows open and nothing. So, I close them and start to open my back windows.
Well, because I’m a phucktard, I forget that I had a box of Styrofoam packing peanuts in the back of my truck that I was going to use to mail my daughter’s cell phone. Needless to say, that when those back windows came down all those phucking Styrofoam packing peanuts took to flight in my cab and since it was darker than a black Billy goats ass and I had forgot all about them - I thought it were moths flying all around me. I screamed like a phucking bee-itch as I was driving 65 miles an hour down the road at 0500 in the morning!!! It was like my cab turn into a BINGO ball machine. Freaked me out!
Then, out of nowhere I hear this crack upon my windshield – I just hit a damn bird! WTF? Scared the living she-it out of me!!! Nearly drove off the road. My damn heart was racing like the Indy 500! WOW! Needless to say, I didn’t need much time getting my heart rate up once I got to the gym.
IG
So, yesterday morning I was getting into my truck and when the cabin light came on it attracted a moth – and this phucker was huge – and he was flying around the inside of my truck. I hate the little bastards with a passion. So I tried to get the damn thing out but I couldn’t and eventually he landed somewhere in the cab and I couldn’t find it because it was pitch dark outside. Bastard!
Anyway, I jump in my truck and start heading to the gym. (Key in the horror music). Paranoid like Jason from Friday the 13th fame is going to jump out of the back seat with a butcher knife and hack my damn head off. While I’m driving down the road I decide to open my window in hopes that this little phucker would start flying around and then get sucked out one of my windows. I continue driving down the road with just my front two windows open and nothing. So, I close them and start to open my back windows.
Well, because I’m a phucktard, I forget that I had a box of Styrofoam packing peanuts in the back of my truck that I was going to use to mail my daughter’s cell phone. Needless to say, that when those back windows came down all those phucking Styrofoam packing peanuts took to flight in my cab and since it was darker than a black Billy goats ass and I had forgot all about them - I thought it were moths flying all around me. I screamed like a phucking bee-itch as I was driving 65 miles an hour down the road at 0500 in the morning!!! It was like my cab turn into a BINGO ball machine. Freaked me out!
Then, out of nowhere I hear this crack upon my windshield – I just hit a damn bird! WTF? Scared the living she-it out of me!!! Nearly drove off the road. My damn heart was racing like the Indy 500! WOW! Needless to say, I didn’t need much time getting my heart rate up once I got to the gym.
IG
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