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my next door neighboor got caught jacking off in the break room of Safeway by the store manager, that went down in the record book. The whole town found out about it...poor guy
I was up in my bedroom getting a bj from my girlfriend, at the time. I was a Senior in H.S. My bedroom was directly above my parents room on the second floor, so I was careful not to make any noise and, oh...I had a waterbed. I was in the final stages of my bj and I hear a knock on my door (my door had no lock)...I thought is was my mom, I thought I was totally busted. Turns out is was only my little brother. He was getting home from a party and was checking in with me (he didn't know I had a booty call).
Next story in another post.
GET BIG!
STATS:
34yrs.
5'9"
200lbs. (for now)
(I'm afraid to check my bf) Goals:
6'1"
250lbs.
10%bf
(6'1"...that was a joke, if you were wondering)
This next story is years later. I'm in my late Twenties and married (to my first wife). I worked nights, so I slept during the day. My wife was a stay-at-home mommy. This one day, during my normal sleep schedule, I woke up feeling a little frisky. I didn't care to beckon my wife, because I knew she'd be busy with the kiddo's. Besides, I just wanted to rub one out real quick and get back to sleep. I didn't bother to lock the door, because I didn't think my wife would come into the room for anything, wilst I was sleeping. So, I threw the covers back and got to it. I had a sensual massage book, for my viewing pleasure. Unannounced, my wife starts to walk through the door. She takes one look at my monstrosity and backs herself right out the door. She didn't say a word.
Later I walked downstairs. The first thing she said to me was, "I hope I didn't ruin it for you." I said, "Nope, I was hoping you'd join me." It actually turned me on more when I got caught.
GET BIG!
STATS:
34yrs.
5'9"
200lbs. (for now)
(I'm afraid to check my bf) Goals:
6'1"
250lbs.
10%bf
(6'1"...that was a joke, if you were wondering)
Right next to my gym is a video store, the owner and myself are pretty good friends, heres his story as much as i can remember anyways lol...
One day he's working the counter and a dude walks in and floats around the store for a little bit. The owner has seen this a million times and knows the guy is floating around and buying time to slip into the porn section undetected. Since this guy is the only person the owner decides to keep an eye on him with the cameras. (this is where it gets weird and i swear to god this is what the owners told me what happened) the guy looks around real quick, drops his pants, throws video box on the floor and starts fucking the damn box! the owner is like WTF? he's seen people do some strange shit back there but this???? anyways, the owners is like "HEY!!!" and heads to the back where the porn section is, yells at the dude and he jumps up and takes off running with the box, leaving a gooey mess on the floor! SO, the owners is like "i'm not cleaning that shit up and i can't make my employees do it so wtf am i supposed to do??? (LMAO @ this guy) anyways, to make a long story short, it got cleaned up ( he didn't say how) and he showed me the stain on the floor...it had been over a year at that point in time since the "incident"
moral of the story? i really have no idea....belive it or not...
the owner did say one more thing though, as the guy was running away with his pants down and grasping the slimy box he was saying "Bigmofo, bigmofo,BIGMOFO!!!"
It wasnt me i swear! But i will tell you this bc well, i dont know why but oh well. My deal is the produce section of any supermarket while on the phone with sugar, something about the melons and carrotts...i have yet to figure it out but i imagine one day i will...
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