No Parent Left Behind

[Iron_Gook]

My apologies for the all caps but I just recieved this and had to share...

I PROMISE YOU CANNOT READ THESE AND NOT LAUGH OUT LOUD! THESE ARE REAL NOTES WRITTEN BY PARENTS IN A MISSISSIPPI SCHOOL DISTRICT. (SPELLINGS HAVE BEEN LEFT INTACT.)




--MY SON IS UNDER A DOCTOR'S CARE AND SHOULD NOT TAKE PE TODAY. PLEASE EXECUTE HIM.




-- PLEASE EXKUCE LISA FOR BEING ABSENT SHE WAS SICK AND I HAD HER SHOT.



--DEAR SCHOOL: PLEASE ECSC's JOHN BEING ABSENT ON JAN. 28, 29, 30, 31,32 AND ALSO 33.




--PLEASE EXCUSE GLORIA FROM JIM TODAY. SHE IS ADMINISTRATING.



--PLEASE EXCUSE ROLAND FROM P.E. FOR A FEW DAYS. YESTERDAY HE FELL OUT OF A TREE AND MISPLACED HIS HIP.



--JOHN HAS BEEN ABSENT BECAUSE HE HAD TWO TEETH TAKEN OUT OF HIS FACE.




--CARLOS WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE HE WAS PLAYING FOOTBALL. HE WAS HURT IN THE GROWING PART.



--MEGAN COULD NOT COME TO SCHOOL TODAY BECAUSE SHE HAS BEEN BOTHERED BY VERY CLOSE VEINS.



--CHRIS WILL NOT BE IN SCHOOL CUS HE HAS AN ACRE IN HIS SIDE.



-- PLEASE EXCUSE RAY FRIDAY FROM SCHOOL. HE HAS VERY LOOSE VOWELS.




-- PLEASE EXCUSE PEDRO FROM BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD (DIAHRE, DYREA, DIREATHE), THE SHITS. [WORDS IN ( )'s WERE CROSSED OUT].



--PLEASE EXCUSE TOMMY FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD DIARRHEA, AND HIS BOOTS LEAK.



--IRVING WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE HE MISSED HIS BUST.



-- PLEASE EXCUSE JIMMY FOR BEING. IT WAS HIS FATHER'S FAULT.



-- I KEPT BILLIE HOME BECAUSE SHE HAD TO GO CHRISTMAS SHOPPING BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT SIZE SHE WEAR.



--PLEASE EXCUSE JENNIFER FOR MISSING SCHOOL YESTERDAY. WE FORGOT TO GET THE SUNDAY PAPER OFF THE PORCH, AND WHEN WE FOUND IT MONDAY. WE THOUGHT IT WAS SUNDAY.



-- SALLY WON'T BE IN SCHOOL A WEEK FROM FRIDAY. WE HAVE TO ATTEND HER FUNERAL.




-- MY DAUGHTER WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE SHE WAS TIRED. SHE SPENT A WEEKEND WITH THE MARINES.




-- PLEASE EXCUSE! JASON F OR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD A COLD AND COULD NOT BREED WELL.




--PLEASE EXCUSE MARY FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. SHE WAS IN BED WITH GRAMPS.



--GLORIA WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY AS SHE WAS HAVING A GANGOVER.



--PLEASE EXCUSE BRENDA. SHE HAS BEEN SICK AND UNDER THE DOCTOR.




--MARYANN WAS ABSENT DECEMBER 11-16, BECAUSE SHE HAD A FEVER, SORE THROAT, HEADACHE AND UPSET STOMACH. HER SISTER WAS ALSO SICK, FEVER AND SORE THROAT, HER BROTHER HAD A LOW GRADE FEVER AND ACHED ALL OVER. I WASN'T THE BEST EITHER, SORE THROAT AND FEVER. THERE MUST BE SOMETHING GOING AROUND, HER FATHER EVEN GOT HOT LAST NIGHT.

ROTFLMAO!

IG

[supasaiyan99]

Re: No Parent Left Behind

--DEAR SCHOOL: PLEASE ECSC's JOHN BEING ABSENT ON JAN. 28, 29, 30, 31,32 AND ALSO 33.

I don't know about this one! Kid must of wrote this himself and mailed it in. Only a kid in panic would not realize that the 32nd and 33rd do not exist in any month!

[Iron_Gook]

Re: No Parent Left Behind

I don't know about this one! Kid must of wrote this himself and mailed it in. Only a kid in panic would not realize that the 32nd and 33rd do not exist in any month!

This was my favorite:

-- PLEASE EXCUSE PEDRO FROM BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD (DIAHRE, DYREA, DIREATHE), THE SHITS. [WORDS IN ( )'s WERE CROSSED OUT].

ROTFLMAO!

IG

[daved150]

Re: No Parent Left Behind

lmaol, that was great...that gook, i needed that!

[supasaiyan99]

Re: No Parent Left Behind

This was my favorite:

-- PLEASE EXCUSE PEDRO FROM BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD (DIAHRE, DYREA, DIREATHE), THE SHITS. [WORDS IN ( )'s WERE CROSSED OUT].

ROTFLMAO!

IG

Yeah that was an awesome one too! Dumb parents!!!

[NewCreation]

Re: No Parent Left Behind

Hey Gook,

You have no idea how glad I am I didn't read this after doing ab work. I'd probably be dead by now!!!
:smiliecol