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Vancouver Olympics!
Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter
Olympics -
these are some questions people the world over are asking!!!!!
These questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism
Website.
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants
grow?(UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and
watch
them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
> A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
> Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the
>railroad
> tracks? (Sweden)
> A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water. . .
> Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
> A: So its true what they say about Swedes.
> Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to
> contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
> A: Let's not touch this one.
> Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me
>a list of
> them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
> A: What did your last slave die of?
> Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in
>Canada?
>(USA)
> A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of
>Europe.
>Ca-na-da
> is that big country to your North . . . oh forget it. Sure, the
>hippo racing is every Tuesday night in
> Calgary. Come naked.
> Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
> A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get
>here and
> we'll send the rest of the directions.
> Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
> A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
>
> Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
> A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y,
>which
> is....oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every
>Tuesday
>night
> in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come
>naked.
> Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
> A: No, WE don't stink.
> Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.
>Can you
> tell me where I can sell it in Canada? USA)
> A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
> Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female
> population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
> A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
> Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
> A: Only at Thanksgiving.
> Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all
>year round?
> (Germany)
> A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gatherers.
>Milk is
> illegal.
> Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I
>forget it's
> name. It's a kind of big horse with horns.(USA)
> A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the
>brains
> of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying
> yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
> Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the
>girl I dated
> while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA)
> A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
> Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
> A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
Olympics -
these are some questions people the world over are asking!!!!!
These questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism
Website.
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants
grow?(UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and
watch
them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
> A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
> Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the
>railroad
> tracks? (Sweden)
> A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water. . .
> Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
> A: So its true what they say about Swedes.
> Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to
> contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
> A: Let's not touch this one.
> Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me
>a list of
> them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
> A: What did your last slave die of?
> Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in
>Canada?
>(USA)
> A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of
>Europe.
>Ca-na-da
> is that big country to your North . . . oh forget it. Sure, the
>hippo racing is every Tuesday night in
> Calgary. Come naked.
> Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
> A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get
>here and
> we'll send the rest of the directions.
> Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
> A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
>
> Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
> A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y,
>which
> is....oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every
>Tuesday
>night
> in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come
>naked.
> Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
> A: No, WE don't stink.
> Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.
>Can you
> tell me where I can sell it in Canada? USA)
> A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
> Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female
> population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
> A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
> Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
> A: Only at Thanksgiving.
> Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all
>year round?
> (Germany)
> A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gatherers.
>Milk is
> illegal.
> Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I
>forget it's
> name. It's a kind of big horse with horns.(USA)
> A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the
>brains
> of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying
> yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
> Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the
>girl I dated
> while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA)
> A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
> Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
> A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
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