cirrus

[pudgy]

where is the class clown , i need some jokes im having a rough morning. btw cool new avatar

[jack hust]

i agree its slow this morning need some jokes

[Hollywood]

Mornin guys

[pudgy]

good morning , hooray for hollywood. how you today , got a joke for pudgy ?

[bigjim33]

Re: cirrus

Originally posted by pudgy
where is the class clown , i need some jokes im having a rough morning. btw cool new avatar

[bigjim33]

lol, j/k bro

[Hollywood]

Originally posted by pudgy
good morning , hooray for hollywood. how you today , got a joke for pudgy ?

No, I'm no goodwith jokes, I always F*ck up the punch line

[pudgy]

i wish that show were still on , it was hilarious

[pudgy]

Originally posted by Hollywood
No, I'm no goodwith jokes, I always F*ck up the punch line

come on everyone has i good joke , lets hear it

[Hollywood]

There is a new commander of a base of the French Foreign
Legion, and the Captain is showing him around all the
buildings. After he has made the rounds the Commander looks
at the Captain and says, "Wait a minute. You haven't shown me
that small one over there. What's that used for?"

The Captain says, "Well sir, you see that there are no women
around. Whenever the men feel the need of a woman, they go
there and use the camel."

"Enough!" says the Commander in dugsut. Well, two weeks later,
the Commander himself starts to feel in need of a woman. He
goes to the Captain and say's, "Tell me something, Captain."
Lowering his voice and glancing around, he asks, "Is the camel
free anytime soon?"

The Captain says, "Well, let me see." He opens up his book.
"Why, yes, sir, the camel is free tomorrow afternoon at two
o'clock."

The Commanders says, "Put me down for two o'clock then."

So the next day at two o'clock the commander goes to the little
blue building and opens the door. There inside he finds the
cutest camel he's ever seen. Right next to the camel is a
little step stool, so he closes the door behind him and puts
the step stool directly behind the camel. He stands on the
stool, drops his pants, and begins to have sex with the camel.

A minute later the Captain walks in.

"Ahem, begging your pardon, sir," says the Captain, "but
wouldn't it be wiser to ride the camel into town and find a
woman like all the other men?

[Hollywood]

Rich man and a poor man have the same wedding anniversary.
They're both at Madison Avenue shopping for their wives. Poor
man says to the Rich man, "What'd you get your wife this year?"
He says, "A Mercedes and a huge diamond ring." The poor man
says, "Why'd you get her both?" The Rich man says, "If she
doesn't like the ring, she can take it back happy." The Poor
man says, "O.K. That works." The Rich man says, "Well what did
you get your wife?" The Poor man says, "A pair of slippers and
a dildo." The Rich man says, "Why'd you get her a pair of
slippers and a dildo?" The Poor man says, "If she doesn't like
the slippers, she can go fuck herself!"

[pudgy]

lol , that was funny. good job hollywood your a natural comedian.

[Hollywood]

Thanx, I cut and paste really well

[Hollywood]

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After
a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life
together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas
Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car (a Grand
Caravan) along a winding road, when they noticed someone at
the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple,
they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge
bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the
eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys
into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering
toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and
the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one
of them survived the accident. The mind numbing question is:
Who was the survivor?

Scroll down for the answer...


The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really
existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa
Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man. Women stop
reading here. That is the end of the joke.

Men keep'a scrollin'...


So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect
woman must have been driving. And that explains why there was
a car accident. By the way, if you're a woman and you're
reading this, this illustrates another point: Women never
listen, either.

[pudgy]

Damn ducks.
Silly.


Three women die together in an accident and go
to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule
here in heaven...don't step on the ducks."
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there
are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck,
and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman
accidentally steps on one. Along comes
St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
St. Peter chains them together and says "Your punishment for stepping on a
duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"The next day, the
second woman steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who
doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them
together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.
The third woman has observed all this and, not
wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful
where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on
any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome
man she has ever laid eyes on. Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.
St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The woman remarks, "I
wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"

The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"