F*cked, F**ked, @#$%

[Morgan]

Can you tell how my conference for divorce went?

A few interesting tidbits:

If you live in NY and you and your wife have a college degree, NYS will require you to put your kids through a 4 year college.

You get a SUNY (State University of New York) cap, that is if your kids want to go out of state, you (as non-custodial parent) only have to pay 1/2 of what it would cost for NYS school.

Child support goes to age 22 if they are in college.

99% of the time the residential custodial parent will be able to live in the house until the child is emancipated (Legal state age)
in my case 18 years old. The house does not have to be sold until this time.

If she remarries, house gets sold.

All mortgage, taxes, maintenance, insurance and utilities are her responsibility.

If the value of the house goes down, I'm out (even if I wanted it sold now); on the other hand, if it goes up, I gain.

I have to pay for camp for them this year (because the kids can't be left alone yet this summer).

If she chooses, she gets 25% of my gross salary as it is now, but it is capped at that. If she wants my salary reviewed yearly she can get more money if I get raises, BUT if salary goes down, she gets less.

I can not quit my job to avoid child support payments. I am required to have a similar salary job to make those payments no matter if it's one or three jobs.

For the most part, since she makes the same amount of money I do, I will, in essence, be paying the mortgage every month while she lives in the house.

IMHO, instead of 50-50 splits, most of the laws are slanted towards the women in NY.

It is going to be a LOOOOOONNNGGGG way to go.


Hope I can make it.

[71olds442]

half of the things on there are to benefit your kids... wouldnt you want that anyway? even if she sucks... dont you want your kids to be happy and get educated? the laws are like that cause so many guys are assholes and just take off and leave their kids with nothing.

[DOUBLE J]

I feel ya
All things pass and so shall this

[Morgan]

Originally posted by 71olds442
half of the things on there are to benefit your kids... wouldn't you want that anyway? even if she sucks... dont you want your kids to be happy and get educated? the laws are like that cause so many guys are assholes and just take off and leave their kids with nothing.

I don't believe my kids need a 4,000 sq ft house to be happy.
Secondly, why would they want to spend a weekend with me in a basement apartment when they could hang in the house. Third, I don't have a problem with providing an education for my kids, but I'd like to be able to do it on my terms, not the State of NY.

I think that it should be a 50-50 split and that's it. I want the best for my kids, but not at a financial overload. Doesn't do them any good if I'm broke.

I also think child support should end at 18, no matter what.
For those of you who think your kids get that money, probably not. there is no accountability on how it is spent.

BTW-I didn't want the divorce, she did (hooking up with someone else).

[Harry Tasker]

good luck brother, hang in there, how old are your kids?

[71olds442]

damn dude.. i dont blame you for being mad about it. guess i shouldnt have butted in. sorry man, hopefully everything goes through as easy as possible.

[Morgan]

Originally posted by 71olds442
damn dude.. i dont blame you for being mad about it. guess i shouldnt have butted in. sorry man, hopefully everything goes through as easy as possible.

Absolutely no problem, just saying what happens in a court of law


This was from another board:


damn bro, that sucks, but it makes no sense about the similar paying jobs, unless you already have a set amount you give her.

My response:

Sorta does. Most banks lend about 25-30% of your gross pay-in other words a mortgage payment. Would only be 17% if I had one kid though.

So child support=mortgage payment or she lives in the house for free less taxes and utilities. My child support is not counted as income to her, but I can't deduct it as a tax write-off. Real fair, huh?

The whole point is that many times things are not that simple and even regular guys like us get d*#ked.

For anyone thinking about this, THINK REAL HARD (about divorce, I mean).

[Extranero]

Originally posted by 71olds442
half of the things on there are to benefit your kids... wouldnt you want that anyway? even if she sucks... dont you want your kids to be happy and get educated? the laws are like that cause so many guys are assholes and just take off and leave their kids with nothing.

Well, they are to benefit the kids but there are NO LIMITS. Here's an example:

I pay 1800.00 a month child support for one child in NJ. I pay 80% of medical, 100% of college.

First, my kid is 10. He could get his own place for 1800.00. 80% medical? I thought he was HALF mine. College, I have no problem with. I pre-paid for a University in Florida. What kid wouldn't rather go to school in Florida?

Did I mention she got remarried? Her new husband is a great guy, who provides a house and everything. So, she decided to stop working. Of course, she does have a new BMW (2004) and drops 200 a month at the beauty salon. Her only income is my child support. Then again, with the house and groceries provided the 1800.00 is spending money.

Yes, she buys things for my son. Seriously though, how many healthy 10 year olds cost 1800.00 a month?

Don't forget too, I have to pay her the child support with AFTER tax dollars. In my bracket I need to make 2700. or so to give her 1800. And I get no deductions on it.

I have a friend who got divorced in Georgia and he pays 575 a month for 2 kids, and makes damn near what I do!

[jipped genes]

sorry bro thats a rough patch i hope you make it through ok

[Morgan]

Originally posted by Extranero
Well, they are to benefit the kids but there are NO LIMITS. Here's an example:

I pay 1800.00 a month child support for one child in NJ. I pay 80% of medical, 100% of college.

First, my kid is 10. He could get his own place for 1800.00. 80% medical? I thought he was HALF mine. College, I have no problem with. I pre-paid for a University in Florida. What kid wouldn't rather go to school in Florida?

Did I mention she got remarried? Her new husband is a great guy, who provides a house and everything. So, she decided to stop working. Of course, she does have a new BMW (2004) and drops 200 a month at the beauty salon. Her only income is my child support. Then again, with the house and groceries provided the 1800.00 is spending money.

Yes, she buys things for my son. Seriously though, how many healthy 10 year olds cost 1800.00 a month?

Don't forget too, I have to pay her the child support with AFTER tax dollars. In my bracket I need to make 2700. or so to give her 1800. And I get no deductions on it.

I have a friend who got divorced in Georgia and he pays 575 a month for 2 kids, and makes damn near what I do!

DAMNNNNN!!!!!

Robin Williams:

Ah yes, divorce:

from the latin

meaning to rip a man's genitals out through his wallet.

Well, I guess I get to join this club too. Sorry Extranero, and do you think either of us is going to find a rich woman with a BMW and a house in the near future? I drive a 1989 Ford F-150 with 176,000.

[Governor]

sorry bro. On a happier note i love your new avatar and sig

[Kitten]

It sounds to me like NY is very similar to Washington State...yes it sucks!!!!! I wish it were more fair for the men. It is also very hard for a man to gain custody of his childeren unless the mother is a total loser, which, in my opinion is not right.

Anyway, hang in there baby, you'll make it, I promise!

*big hug*

[FUZO]

DUDE SUCK IT UP LOVE YOUR KIDS AND NEVER REMARRY AGAIN. WOMEN ARE EVIL WHEN IT COMES TO DIVORCE.MABEY SHE WILL GET 4 FLAT TIRES EVERY WEEK UNTIL YOUR KIDS ARE 18.SHE WILL HAVE TO BUY A SET OF TIRES EVERY WEEK

[Extranero]

Morgan, Frigg I feel you guys pain.

My son thinks I'm the greatest Dad in the World, so it's worth it.

It does get better. but it never gets fair...

[Kitten]

OH Man....this totaly angers me!!! I know a lot of men (including my husband) that are much better parents and a better influence for the childeren to be around than their mothers. My daughter you hear me speak about isn't actualy mine, she is my step daughter, but we have always had her and that is only because her mother never fought to get her. If she did we would probably only have her on the weekends, and she would be a messed up 16 year old. Instead she is a beautiful, well centered, thoughtfull, carring, mature, and responsible young adult. I just can't understand why with everything we have seen woman do over the years the courts just assume that the mother is a more fit parent.....total BULLSHIT I say. eeerrrruuuugggghhh!