~*Aaahh Cho0o0o!

[Sachet]

What type of sneezer are you?
If you don't see your discription, post it & I'll add it to the poll

Pitcher~ the type who winds up before delivering the goods
Megaphonite~ loud & proud
Musician~ adds an 'ie' to the end of your 'choo'
Sprayer~ waited too long to swallow & got caught off guard
Timid~ apologizes for not 'knowing where THAT came from'
Naughty~ includes a vulgar word during the sneeze
Neeter~ winds up, then holds your nose for that soft 'neet' sound
Religious~ sneezes & praises the Lord

[jack hust]

Megaphonite~ loud & proud

[Sachet]

Q: Where is the best place to put a sneeze?




A: Atishoo :withstupi

[Sachet]

IS THAT A FACT, JACK?! *lol*

[jack hust]

lol i love you sachet you are the best

[Sachet]

So0o0o Jack, you got any pepper on ya?




A man and a woman are sitting beside each other in the first class section of the plane.

The woman sneezes, takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose, and shudders quite violently in her seat.

The man isn't sure why she is shuddering and goes back to reading.

A few minutes pass. The woman sneezes again. She takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose and shudders quite violently in her seat.

The man is becoming more and more curious about the shuddering.

A few more minutes pass. The woman sneezes yet again. She takes a tissue, gently wipes her nose and shudders violently again.

The man has finally had all he can handle. He turns to the woman and says, "Three times you've sneezed, and three times you've taken a tissue and wiped your nose then shuddered violently!

Are you sending me signals, or are you going crazy?"

The woman replies, "I'm sorry if I disturbed you. I have a rare condition, and when I sneeze, I have an orgasm."

The man, now feeling a little embarrassed but even more curious says, "I've never heard of that before. What are you taking for it?"

The woman looks at him and says, "Pepper."

[jack hust]

So0o0o Jack, you got any pepper on ya?
i got 10 pounds of pepper sachet but if your with me you wont need it lol

[Sachet]

Originally posted by Crankin'steiN
Your on a role Sachet... and I am a megphonite too!!

THAT'S GOOD, YA KNOW WHY CRANKIN'STEIN?

I just read that if you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck & it could be fatal.






I luv your screen name *lol*

[Kitten]

I am loud...and usualy have a long...ooooooooo at the end.

[Sachet]

Originally posted by jack hust
So0o0o Jack, you got any pepper on ya?
i got 10 pounds of pepper sachet but if your with me you wont need it lol

Jack~

You really shouldn't go & get a girlies hopes up like that ya know.
Especially when she's stuck in a place where she can't let her imagination get the best of her at the moment :p

[Sachet]

I dunno why *shoots my arm out in typical 'talk to the hand' fashion* I thought of Auri when I read this.
Can anyone give me a clue as to why I did? *lol*


SNEEZE
You really never know when you’re going to sneeze next. Sometimes I think that’s good, sometimes I think it’s bad. If we could anticipate the sneeze that's coming in a minute and a half, we wouldn’t start a new conversation for at least two minutes. That would be a benefit. If we could anticipate our sneeze, we’d be living around our sneezes. Sneezes would own us, as we dreaded the known upcoming sneeze. Who can say what would be better? It doesn’t matter because we don’t have that option. We don’t know when our next sneeze is coming, unless we sniff pepper or dust, we know it’s on it’s way, but even that’s not an exact science. That’s what makes Wallace Edison different than you and me. Wallace knows that he’s going to sneeze every forty seconds.

Here’s something that Wallace hears a lot more than the rest of us, “bless you.” His close friends, bless them, don’t say it to him much anymore outside of being sarcastic. Wallace is past the point of being blessed for his sneezes. When he meets new people and is blessed, others tell the new people not to bother. They explain that he’s going to be doing a lot of sneezing.
-
Wallace obviously doesn’t have a girlfriend, date, kiss, hold a job, have many friends, walk on tightropes, sing, cook for others, drink hot liquids, play the trumpet, snorkel, build card houses, sleep well, climb ladders, go in libraries, whisper in anyone’s ear, go to a buffet (sneeze guard or not), or live a normal life. A lot of people tell a lot of jokes about Wallace. They call him, sneeze boy, sneezealots, and old faithful. The one that gets the most laughs is the last one. He really is kinda like old faithful. His sneeze is every forty seconds on the dot.


Wallace, one time, did have a girlfriend. Her name was Sella. She was deaf. Wallace didn’t let her know about his problem, but turned his back when he was about to fire. When that got tiring, he stopped hiding. All Sella knew was that every forty seconds her boyfriend would shut his eyes, bend his neck back for a second, round his lips, throw his head forward, and blow saliva all over the place. Sella would say, “All over the bloody place.” She was from England.


Sella was a long time ago. Wallace hasn’t dated since, but often thinks about Sella. There are two things that it’s difficult to be; one is very lonely and the other is being the guy who sneezes all the time.


Wallace had one good friend. His name was Bernie. Bernie wasn’t Wallace’s friend because he felt sorry for Wallace, or because he was some sort of humanitarian. Bernie was friends with Wallace because Bernie also had an ailment. Bernie smelled strong. Bernie didn’t smell bad, Bernie didn’t smell offensive, Bernie smelled strong. No one could put his or her finger on what Bernie smelled like, but it was strong, and it was not easy to be around him.


Together, Wallace and Bernie attacked many senses. Bernie was very intelligent, and had an awful lot to offer as a friend, partner, and employee, but no one could stand to be around him. It wasn’t their fault, he smelled strongly. He was Irish, no relevance. These were two people that could really understand each other, for better or worse.


Bernie had a snail collection that Wallace was asked to stay away from. These snails meant everything to Bernie. They were left to him by his father, before his father left him. Bernie carried his snails everywhere he went, there were three of them. Since snails are hermaphroditic, Bernie named them Lane, Chris, and Terry. Every Tuesday Bernie, Lane, Chris, Wallace, and Terry would drive around town in Bernie’s 77 Ford Pinto. Terry, Wallace, and Chris would sit in the back while Bernie drove and Lane would ride shotgun. Bernie would give many looks in the back to make sure that Wallace wasn’t touching either of the snails.


Tuesday was cruiseday. The window’s would be open, allowing passengers freedom from Bernie’s strong smell, and the radio was up loud enough to drown out the sound of Wallace’s constant sneezing. Sella was used to seeing the Pinto. They drove by her house every cruiseday. Wallace just liked to look at it sometimes. It made him feel like she was still in his life somehow. She wasn’t. It was nice of Bernie to take him there anyway.


Bernie was often nervous for Lane, Terry and Chris in the back seat with Wallace when they would pass the house. Wallace would grow visibly upset, but try to conceal it. That made it worse. His face would get red, his eyes teary. Add that to the constant sneezing, and Wallace was a very scary looking fellow. Bernie put the petal to the metal when they passed that way.


That drive by would always start this conversation.
Wallace: Why did she do (sneeze) that to me?
Bernie: I don’t know.


Wallace: I was so good to her
Bernie: I know.
Wallace: She’ll wake up one day (sneeze) and realize that she made a mistake.
Bernie: I know.
Wallace: Oh well. I’m hungry.
Bernie: Let’s eat.
Wallace: (sneeze)
The five of them would then go to Martha’s diner where Wallace would order a cheeseburger, a soda, and joke about ordering escargot, then sneeze all over the place. Then they would talk about Bernie’s passion outside of snails. Acromegaly. Acromegaly is a disease that’s key feature is the overgrowth of one’s hands and feet. This disease is an awful infliction that is caused by an excess of the production of somatotrophin. The acromagaly sufferer lives a live of humility, embarrassment, and ridicule. To Bernie, this is a very funny infliction, and hours worth of conversations that began, “Imagine a guy with acromegaly...”. A guy with acromegaly might respond to Bernie’s jokes like this, “At least I’m not smelly.”


They would sit and talk, and laugh at the idea of putting these misfits in situations that would be funny to have big hands or feet in. They laughed, they constructed examples, and they felt a lot better about themselves. This day, however, Bernie didn’t want to talk about big hands. Bernie had something important that he wanted to tell Wallace. The conversation started with this opening line, “We’ve been friends for a long time...” No one could be sure of the exact percentage, but I’d say that it must be roughly in the high ninety percentile that conversations that start this way are headed towards a ‘but’. This one was no different.


After two years of friendship, Bernie was calling it off. Wallace couldn’t understand. When a crushed Wallace asked Bernie why he was doing it, Bernie told him that he was tired of the sneezing. Honest enough. Wallace told Bernie that his strong smell was no walk in the park either. The conversation became very heated. It was at that point that I decided to stop following them around and left the diner. I was told by Charlene, the waitress that day, that what followed was very unpleasant. Bernie began to simulate Wallace’s sneezing. Wallace grew angry and upset and called him stinkbomb. With that Bernie explained how he understood why Sella dumped him. Charlene said that Wallace got really angry, went on a nervous sneezing fit, yelled “escargot!” and ate all three snails.


All of that happened three years ago and I haven’t heard much about either of them from that day on. I did see Wallace at the post office about a week ago. He was alone and wearing a shirt that had Bernie and Sella’s name in a circle. There was a line cutting through the circle. It was clear that these were people no longer in Wallace’s graces. I didn’t say anything to Wallace. I watched him buy a book of one-cent stamps to compensate for the book of stamps that he had at home that were no good since the price of the stamp went up a penny. I saw him mail two letters, sneeze and leave.

[Sachet]

Originally posted by Crankin'steiN
Hmmm... I need all my blood vessels.... I don't suppress anything...





hmmmm..... and I luv you. :P



P.S. Why do you like my name so much????

I dunno.. *lol*
Whenever I see it {there's a pumpinstein runnin' around too} I just smile.
It could be because the movie Frankenstein's Wife {I think that's the name of it} CrAcKeD me up so0o much.

[Sachet]

Originally posted by saturn
Well it depends on the situation. Usually I'm a naughty but there are just some times when that is not appropriate so I become a neeter.

*lmao*
I had to scroll back up to see what I wrote as discriptions because that sounded so funny!

Originally posted by kitten
am loud...and usualy have a long...ooooooooo at the end.

*shivers*
Oh my! oOo0o0oOo my! yesssss *purrs*

[Sachet]

Originally posted by Friggemall
Megaphonite...enjoy a good sneeze. Would like it even better if it gave me a big O every time, pass the pepper!

THERE'S ACTUALLY A MALE VERSION OF THAT JOKE!

*lol*
I just came across it~ *raWr*

A man and a woman were seated next to each other on the New York to Los Angeles flight. When they were over Chicago, the man let out a sneeze, then reached under his belt and into his pants with a handkerchief. The woman pretended not to notice, being polite, thinking that he perhaps had an incontinence problem.

A few minutes later, this was followed by a second sneeze. The man once again reached down into his pants with a handkerchief. The woman began to squirm uncomfortably in her seat. Then, this was followed by an even more powerful third sneeze. This time, the man unfastened his belt so he could more effectively clean off the areas below. The woman was aghast, couldn't take it anymore, and finally blurted, "Just what is going on with you?"

The man responded, "I have a very rare condition causing me to experience an orgasm each and every time I sneeze."

"Oh," she replied. "But could you please trying being a little more discreet." She then asked, "What can you take for this type of rare condition?" He responded, "Pepper."

[Sachet]

Originally posted by Crankin'steiN
LOL. Well ok then!!

Oops!
That's not the name of the movie!
It's 'Young Frankenstein'


http://www.foxhome.com/youngfrankens...ex_frames.html


There's so many funny things that happen throughout that movie.
Especially when Madelin Kaun is asked what the 'monster' gives her & all you hear is a saprano musical 'ahhhhhhhh'

And the scene where Egor Igor whoeva says that the outside of the jar said 'AbbyNormal' *lol*