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southern humor
Southern Humor
An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40 and says to the driver, "Got any ID?"
The driver says, "'Bout what?"
******
Two Mississippians are walking toward each other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, whatcha got in th' bag?" "Jes' some chickens."
"If I guesses how many they is, kin I have
one?"
"Shoot, if ya guesses right, I'll give you both of 'em!" "OK.
Ummmmm...five?"
******
An Alabamian came home and found his
house on fire. He rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here-muh house is on fahr!"
"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"
"Shucks, don't you fellers still have those big red trucks?"
******
Why do folks in Kentucky go to R-rated movies in groups of 18 or more?
Because they heard 17 and under aren't admitted.
******
Ida Mae passed away and Bubba called 911. The
911-operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away.
"Where do you live?" asked the operator.
Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive.
" The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"
After a long pause, Bubba said, "How 'bout I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"
****
Know why they raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32?
They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
******
What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi?
Documentaries
******
Where was the toothbrush invented?
Arkansas.
If it were invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.
******
Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State Lottery? The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
*******
A new law was recently passed in North Carolina so that when a couple gets divorced, they're still brother and sister.
******
What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas and a hurricane in Florida have in common?
No matter what, somebody's fixin' to lose a trailer.
******
How do you know when you're staying in a Kentucky hotel?
When you call the front desk and say "I've got a leak in my sink," and the person at the front desk says, "Go ahead.
I hope you enjoyed this redneck humor as much as I did.
Remember, nurture your inner adolecent, daily. That will keep you young, . .... however obnoxious you may grow.
An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40 and says to the driver, "Got any ID?"
The driver says, "'Bout what?"
******
Two Mississippians are walking toward each other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, whatcha got in th' bag?" "Jes' some chickens."
"If I guesses how many they is, kin I have
one?"
"Shoot, if ya guesses right, I'll give you both of 'em!" "OK.
Ummmmm...five?"
******
An Alabamian came home and found his
house on fire. He rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here-muh house is on fahr!"
"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"
"Shucks, don't you fellers still have those big red trucks?"
******
Why do folks in Kentucky go to R-rated movies in groups of 18 or more?
Because they heard 17 and under aren't admitted.
******
Ida Mae passed away and Bubba called 911. The
911-operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away.
"Where do you live?" asked the operator.
Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive.
" The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"
After a long pause, Bubba said, "How 'bout I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"
****
Know why they raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32?
They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
******
What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi?
Documentaries
******
Where was the toothbrush invented?
Arkansas.
If it were invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.
******
Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State Lottery? The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
*******
A new law was recently passed in North Carolina so that when a couple gets divorced, they're still brother and sister.
******
What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas and a hurricane in Florida have in common?
No matter what, somebody's fixin' to lose a trailer.
******
How do you know when you're staying in a Kentucky hotel?
When you call the front desk and say "I've got a leak in my sink," and the person at the front desk says, "Go ahead.
I hope you enjoyed this redneck humor as much as I did.
Remember, nurture your inner adolecent, daily. That will keep you young, . .... however obnoxious you may grow.
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