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Darwin Awards
hey guys got this one today.. I hope noone here knew any of these people..
The candidates have finally been released! For those not familiar with
the Darwin Award, It's an annual honor given to the person who provided the
Universal human gene pool the biggest service by getting KILLED in the most
extraordinarily stupid way. As always, competition this year has been keen
again. Some candidates appear to have trained their whole lives for this
event!
DARWIN AWARD CANDIDATES
1. In September in Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two
feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer
grate to retrieve his car keys.
2. In October, a 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally
zoned when he ran," accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on his
daily run.
3. Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had
dug into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach goers said Daniel
Jones, 21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been
sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed,
burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach, on the outer
banks, used their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a
resident of Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took rescue
workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200
people
looked on. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.
4. In February, Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he
fell face-first through the ceiling of bicycle shop he was burgling. Death
was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep
is hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
5. According to police in Dahlonega, GA, ROTC cadet Nick Berrena, 20,
was stabbed to death in January by fellow cadet Jeffrey Hoffman, 23, who
was trying to prove that a knife could not penetrate the flak vest Berrena
was wearing.
6. Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in February in Selbyville, Del,
as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded
with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
7. In February, according to police in Windsor, Ontario, Daniel Kolta, 27,
and Randy Taylor, 33, died in a head-on collision, thus earning a tie in
the game of chicken they were playing with their snowmobiles.
DARWIN AWARD HONORABLE MENTIONS
1. In Guthrie, Okla, in October, Jason Heck tried to kill a millipede
with a shot from his 22 caliber rifle, but the bullet ricocheted off a rock
near the hole and hit him in the head, fracturing his skull.
2. In Elyria, Ohio, in October, Martyn Eskins, attempting to clean out
cobwebs in his basement, declined to use a broom in favor of a propane
torch and caused a fire that burned the first and second floors of his
house.
3. Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover Township, NJ, and his
wife Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up in
their car. While driving around at 2 AM, the bored couple lit the dynamite
and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but
apparently failed to notice the window was closed.
RUNNER UP
TACOMA, WA Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when
one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma
Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated
and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 am. Upon
arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had
brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered
and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. One end of the
cable was secured around Bingham's leg and the other end was tied to the
bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his
foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy
river water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All I can say," said
Bingham, "is that God was watching out for me on that night. There's just
no other explanation for it." Bingham's foot was never located.
AND THE WINNER....!!!!!
PADERBORN, GERMANY Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his
constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a
bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm
finally let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop!
Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the
ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on
him. "The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr.
Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay
unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of
him," said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. "With
no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour
before a watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated. It seems
to be just one of those freak accidents that happen."
The candidates have finally been released! For those not familiar with
the Darwin Award, It's an annual honor given to the person who provided the
Universal human gene pool the biggest service by getting KILLED in the most
extraordinarily stupid way. As always, competition this year has been keen
again. Some candidates appear to have trained their whole lives for this
event!
DARWIN AWARD CANDIDATES
1. In September in Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two
feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer
grate to retrieve his car keys.
2. In October, a 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally
zoned when he ran," accidentally jogged off a 100-foot-high cliff on his
daily run.
3. Buxton, NC: A man died on a beach when an 8-foot-deep hole he had
dug into the sand caved in as he sat inside it. Beach goers said Daniel
Jones, 21, dug the hole for fun, or protection from the wind, and had been
sitting in a beach chair at the bottom Thursday afternoon when it collapsed,
burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. People on the beach, on the outer
banks, used their hands and shovels, trying to claw their way to Jones, a
resident of Woodbridge, VA, but could not reach him. It took rescue
workers using heavy equipment almost an hour to free him while about 200
people
looked on. Jones was pronounced dead at a hospital.
4. In February, Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed in Lompoc, CA, as he
fell face-first through the ceiling of bicycle shop he was burgling. Death
was caused when the long flashlight he had placed in his mouth (to keep
is hands free) rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
5. According to police in Dahlonega, GA, ROTC cadet Nick Berrena, 20,
was stabbed to death in January by fellow cadet Jeffrey Hoffman, 23, who
was trying to prove that a knife could not penetrate the flak vest Berrena
was wearing.
6. Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed in February in Selbyville, Del,
as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded
with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger.
7. In February, according to police in Windsor, Ontario, Daniel Kolta, 27,
and Randy Taylor, 33, died in a head-on collision, thus earning a tie in
the game of chicken they were playing with their snowmobiles.
DARWIN AWARD HONORABLE MENTIONS
1. In Guthrie, Okla, in October, Jason Heck tried to kill a millipede
with a shot from his 22 caliber rifle, but the bullet ricocheted off a rock
near the hole and hit him in the head, fracturing his skull.
2. In Elyria, Ohio, in October, Martyn Eskins, attempting to clean out
cobwebs in his basement, declined to use a broom in favor of a propane
torch and caused a fire that burned the first and second floors of his
house.
3. Paul Stiller, 47, was hospitalized in Andover Township, NJ, and his
wife Bonnie was also injured, when a quarter-stick of dynamite blew up in
their car. While driving around at 2 AM, the bored couple lit the dynamite
and tried to toss it out the window to see what would happen, but
apparently failed to notice the window was closed.
RUNNER UP
TACOMA, WA Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when
one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from the Tacoma
Narrows Bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more heated
and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at 4:30 am. Upon
arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered that no one had
brought a bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered
and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. One end of the
cable was secured around Bingham's leg and the other end was tied to the
bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and tore his
foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his fall into the icy
river water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All I can say," said
Bingham, "is that God was watching out for me on that night. There's just
no other explanation for it." Bingham's foot was never located.
AND THE WINNER....!!!!!
PADERBORN, GERMANY Overzealous zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt fed his
constipated elephant Stefan 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a
bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm
finally let it fly, and suffocated the keeper under 200 pounds of poop!
Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the
ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the relieved beast unloaded on
him. "The sheer force of the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr.
Riesfeldt to the ground, where he struck his head on a rock and lay
unconscious as the elephant continued to evacuate his bowels on top of
him," said flabbergasted Paderborn police detective Erik Dern. "With
no one there to help him, he lay under all that dung for at least an hour
before a watchman came along, and during that time he suffocated. It seems
to be just one of those freak accidents that happen."
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