My wife is a bad drunk

[Terminator]

Hey Bros, I am confused, my wife and I used to be able to go out and drink up and have a good time but latey, like the last couple of years, whn we go drinking she thinks she has to get blitzed and then try to start shit with me. She gets to the point of falling down drunk and then any little thing I do she goes off about it. We have lost alot of friends over it and it really pisses me off. Hell I dont feel safe being around her when she is like that. She will start a fight then try to start hitting me and shit. and then if i lay one finger on her she calls the police or threatens to. I have have had one ocassion were she smashed an old antique clock over my head and then started punching me in the face after I took the keys away because she was to blitzed to drive, I tried to defend myself by pushing her away and she fell and hit her head on the wall leaving a red mark on her forehead. she then calls the police and what you know i am on my way downtown. I am the one who should have been filling charges but the woman cop was totally on her side, So i went to jail.
She will threaten to kick me out of our home and threaten that I will never see my kid again and shit. When she is sober she is the the nicest person you would ever meet. I mean she wont get mad at any thing. Lately after she gets like that I just leave and stay at friends house or a hotel then the next day she calls and dosent remember a thing and is begging me to come home. The fourth is coming up and we have a big party on the lake to go to with alot of friends going to be there. I am worried that it will be the same old thing and it is bumming me real hard. what would you guys do in this situation? I dont want to quit drinking and socializing because its part of me and I have so much fun being around our friends until she gets this way!

[BigSoda]

Bro she is more important then you drinking,how can u expect her to stop if u dont?If I was you take out just u and her to a nice dinner and room for the 4th with no drinks and have a great time and explain to her that she needs to slow down if not stop.Maybe you all should stop hanging out where there r drinks for a while,if not it is only gonna get worse.Good luck bro.

[Plucks]

My mom use to get that way when i was a kid. Sweetest woman in the world till she had like 6 double margaritas. Then all hell broke loose. My dad just stopped going out with her, but then she found another man and they separated and then the reseccion came and they both lost their jobs so i had to drop out of high school to help support the family... but thats another story. There is really nothing you can do short of you going to get her drinks and make sure they make them weak as hell or when you can tell that she has had her limit to leave. She has to admit there is a problem before there is anything you can really do.

[BigSoda]

Not even that is a few drinks worth your wife,kid and shit like that?Bro I had the same type shit happen but it was with coke and it comes a time when u just have to get away from that lifestyle and the people that r still doing it.I know it sucks come friday night and everybody is out partyin but she could be getting a drinkin habbit which can only get worse.

[BigSoda]

Originally posted by Plucks
My mom use to get that way when i was a kid. Sweetest woman in the world till she had like 6 double margaritas. Then all hell broke loose. My dad just stopped going out with her, but then she found another man and they separated and then the reseccion came and they both lost their jobs so i had to drop out of high school to help support the family... but thats another story. There is really nothing you can do short of you going to get her drinks and make sure they make them weak as hell or when you can tell that she has had her limit to leave. She has to admit there is a problem before there is anything you can really do.

bro there is more u can do then get her fukin drinks,dont bring her around them,shit if drinks r made weak u just drink more thats not gonna fool anybody

[Plucks]

Originally posted by BigSoda
bro there is more u can do then get her fukin drinks,dont bring her around them,shit if drinks r made weak u just drink more thats not gonna fool anybody

Hey Bro was just saying he didn't want to stop drinking so if he doesn't want to stop drinking then there isn't a ton of things to do but to leave her at home, deal with it, or try and fake her out with weak shit. I'll tell you what you have 10 watered down margaritas and after awhile you don't want anymore.

[Terminator]

Well I am worried about going out seperately because things can and will happen. and I have told her about how I dont like it (her problem)and she acts like I am nuts and that I am just trying to control her by telling her that she shouldnt drink. I wont quit going out and socializing because like I said its something I love to do and I am not the one with the problem, Hell when I drink I have a good time and nothing gets me mad , except her attitude when she is drunk. She refuses to quit so I dont know what to do except go out seperatly. But that is sometimes hard because we hang out at the same places with the same people!

[BigSoda]

Originally posted by Plucks
Hey Bro was just saying he didn't want to stop drinking so if he doesn't want to stop drinking then there isn't a ton of things to do but to leave her at home, deal with it, or try and fake her out with weak shit. I'll tell you what you have 10 watered down margaritas and after awhile you don't want anymore.

I ment no harm,sorry if I came across as a dick,I just read what I wrote and my bad.
SODA

[BigSoda]

Maybe just leave before it gets to the point that she is hammered

[Plucks]

Originally posted by BigSoda
I ment no harm,sorry if I came across as a dick,I just read what I wrote and my bad.
SODA

No worries, bro.

[trip]

Terminator,

If you want to know more about this PM me.

On a scale of seriousness, I would say, without knowing more information, more serious than not.

I am just taking a best guess here based on limited knowledge, so in no way am I saying this is the answer or the truth.

Three things are coming into play here. Age, childhood, and emotions.

Okay, let me explain.

Best guess, is that she is the type of person that AVOIDS confrontation at all times, ie, the sweetness when sober.

Most times the reason for this, and know it's a little tough to swallow, is because in childhood one parent was domineering and did not teach the child how to properly express Anger.

thus all her life she has suppressed her anger held it in.

It's down there deep inside and due to she had to when a kid to make life easy hold it in, she has held it in and avoided that pain for so long, it is an internal habit to avoid it.

Now age is playing a part. When younger we can all hold are liqour and recover somehwat because test, even in woman, is raging. Thus we handle it well and recover.

Now as we age, the liquor, which we now require more of to get the same feeling, hits us harder.

What's most likely happening, and best guess here ( also have seen this in real life ) is she is getting much more inebriated than normal, and the anger stored up inside from years and years and years EXPLODES. It has been held in for so long, and when it see's the light of day, it jumps out.

Which is puzzling the heck out of you.

Best suggestion, again don't know her or you so don't really know here. See a counselor to learn about anger and emotions in general.

Here is the tough part. People that avoid confrontation, also avoid all solutions to problems that require them to take an action.

They also have internal communication that is distinctly different than other folks which maximizes this avoidance struggle, internal communication habits learned in childhood.

So, suggesting a counselor is going to be tough, cause she will most likely say, nothing wrong with me.

Again, this is a best guess based on limited information.

Good News is you are the Terminator so nothing will stop you when it comes to caring for your wife and family and doing the right thing.

Terminator, in conclusion, IMHO, alcohol is not the problem only one of the symptoms along the way, it's the bottled up anger and like most folks in life she is probably dead ass tired of holding it all in, and it slips out with the liquor.

HOped That Helped
Good Luck

[morbid316]

maybe she hates your guts and it comes out when she is drunk. all i got to say ITS TIME FOR A DIVORCE BRO BEFORE SHE KILLS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Terminator]

Originally posted by trip
Terminator,

If you want to know more about this PM me.

On a scale of seriousness, I would say, without knowing more information, more serious than not.

I am just taking a best guess here based on limited knowledge, so in no way am I saying this is the answer or the truth.

Three things are coming into play here. Age, childhood, and emotions.

Okay, let me explain.

Best guess, is that she is the type of person that AVOIDS confrontation at all times, ie, the sweetness when sober.

Most times the reason for this, and know it's a little tough to swallow, is because in childhood one parent was domineering and did not teach the child how to properly express Anger.

thus all her life she has suppressed her anger held it in.

It's down there deep inside and due to she had to when a kid to make life easy hold it in, she has held it in and avoided that pain for so long, it is an internal habit to avoid it.

Now age is playing a part. When younger we can all hold are liqour and recover somehwat because test, even in woman, is raging. Thus we handle it well and recover.

Now as we age, the liquor, which we now require more of to get the same feeling, hits us harder.

What's most likely happening, and best guess here ( also have seen this in real life ) is she is getting much more inebriated than normal, and the anger stored up inside from years and years and years EXPLODES. It has been held in for so long, and when it see's the light of day, it jumps out.

Which is puzzling the heck out of you.

Best suggestion, again don't know her or you so don't really know here. See a counselor to learn about anger and emotions in general.

Here is the tough part. People that avoid confrontation, also avoid all solutions to problems that require them to take an action.

They also have internal communication that is distinctly different than other folks which maximizes this avoidance struggle, internal communication habits learned in childhood.

So, suggesting a counselor is going to be tough, cause she will most likely say, nothing wrong with me.

Again, this is a best guess based on limited information.

Good News is you are the Terminator so nothing will stop you when it comes to caring for your wife and family and doing the right thing.

Terminator, in conclusion, IMHO, alcohol is not the problem only one of the symptoms along the way, it's the bottled up anger and like most folks in life she is probably dead ass tired of holding it all in, and it slips out with the liquor.

HOped That Helped
Good Luck

Thanks Bro, thats got to be it. Are you a psychologist or something? I will suggest counseling and see what she says. She will proborably say that she dosent have time. She works 2 jobs, so finding tme to seek counseling will be a problem for her. But like you said she will say she dosent have a problem, that I do!

[trip]

Terminator,


Also, two jobs are probably stressing her out more than normal, thus few more drinks to relaxe harder, and wallah.

And if she says you do, give me a holler, I'm a something and in Big D, so can give you some more tips.

Trip

[Damonic]

video tape her when shes a drunken retard and show it to her when shes sober maybe she'll not like what she see's.....thats all I know