I Wish I Had A Cool Dad

[jipped genes]

my dad is a raging Jesus freak that when i see him all he does is preach AT me. i love him but i dont like him.

[rado]

Originally posted by Keiser
My dad took the dirt nap back in 1999.

you seem like your angry...you didn't like your dad?

[Keiser]

Originally posted by rado
you seem like your angry...you didn't like your dad?

nah I didn't have a problem with him. I just like to use the dirt nap term every chance I get...

[DiamondBling]

At least you all have had a Dad at somepoint

[BossDJ02]

Originally posted by THE JUICE
You know like they say in mexican families its all about being macho when your a guy, you show no weaknessess, well i guess thats how my dad is. About talking to him, he will just deny everything and make me look bad, he's gonna say Im the bad one.

bro my dads the same way. i also come from a mexican family. he would always be as tough as he can tryin to show his sons no weakness and tryin to make them men. damn does that suck. never been close with my dad and father/son moment are almost non-existant in my family.

[njjuicer]

my dad same way i never got much fo anything form him but hes my fathe ri love him

[CJWolf]

my dad's the same way ... he was never there when i was little for me, and now he's more of a friend than anything, not like a parent though ...

[bigshug]

Originally posted by rado
no matter what, your dad is your dad bro....I miss my dad, he passed away 3yrs ago


Dad's are awesome

SOME Dads are awesome. Mine most certainly is not. He's a peice of garbage not deserving my freakin' time whatsoever. Alcoholic peice of shit who watched me get abused the fuck out of by his ex wife and her trashy, redneck kids. He was just too drunk to realize. He's even lost teeth because he's so malnourished from all the beer. Not liquor. Beer.
Furthermore, he didn't come to my wedding, either of my children's births and he hasn't sent a birthday/Christmas card to either of his grandchildren. Not to mention the fact that he doesn't work, lives in a house and drives a car that my grandparents bought for him, made damned SURE to clean my grandfather's workshop out after he died so he could have all the latest tools.....the list goes on.
The mother fucker has been no particular father to me since the day I was born. My mom even caught him cheating on her as he was parked across the street from their house too drunk to realize where he was with ME IN THE CAR.

He could drop dead tomorrow and I wouldn't shed a tear....

[BigSoda]

Bigshug-sorry to hear that bro

[Morgan]

Hi guys-I read through all of this and look I'm a dad, my daughter is 13 and my son is 11. To my daughter who I love dearly but right now doesn't give me the time of day; I am anything but cool. To my son, I might be a little cool but we don't really hang out at all.

I would like to let all of you in on a little secret parent to child so to speak-we don't know everything either, we get scared, we worry about you, we don't know what to say to you, we want the very best for you but sometimes fall far short of our goals.

I think only in the very worst cases where we have so many personal problems that we can't help you do we not live up to taking care of you properly. Otherwise, as parents we do love you even if we can't always express it or show it.

We also are mostly a product of our parents (where else would we learn?). My father was very much like 3Vandoo's-always pushing me by telling me I wasn't working hard enough and bragging behind my back how great I was.

I find myself doing this to my daughter a lot and sometimes my son. I try as hard as I can to be a good parent, but hey, you guys don't come with instructions, ya know.

In reading this I see myself a little and also my children in you guys. I can try a little harder to not put a lot of pressure on my kids and maybe let them see a little more of me as a person rather than a parent.

Try to remember, as a parent we do need the respect and authority to help you, we can't be friends and cool all the time and help guide you as well.

Don't give up talking to us, we really do care and love you.
As you get older, we do get a little better and you may understand what we were trying to do.

And remember, someday you'll have kids and I'm sure you'll all swear "I'll never do that when I'm a parent" until one day you catch yourself saying and doiing some of the same things your parents did.

[Morgan]

Originally posted by Friggemall
I swear Morgan you once again amaze me. You are one heck of a person!

My dad and I had a pretty good relationship when I was growing up, but he wasn't a hugs tell me your problems guy either. He still seems surprised to this day when I drop the dad I love you on him, grab him and give him a hug. I'm bigger than him so he has to take it from me, lol. I am fortunate to have my dad, and I'm sorry for those of you that don't have a relationship with yours.

After I got divorced in '95 I made it a point on every moment I got to spend with my 2 daughters to have an open discussion time. The rules were that no ones feelings would get hurt, and we could tell each other anything, (appropriate of course). I always ask them to tell me the things I could do better, the things I did well and so on, and I gave them the same feedback. They are 17 & 14 now and other than the typical teenager stuff I get from the 17 y/o we have good relationship to this day. I have always told them that just because we don't live together doesn't mean I don't think of and miss them 1000 times each and every day, because they are the biuggest and most important part of my life.

All I can do is hope they understand and don't think I'm just full of it, I really won't know for sure until they are probably 30 y/o and they tell me what a pain in the butt I was.

This is something I'll be getting around to shortly. I have kind of tossed around some ideas on this as I'm sure you know it's 10x harder as a divorced parent.

It sounds as though the open dicussion thing will work really great, just one more reason I hang here, always learn something no matter how old I am.

I'm glad you're able to talk with you daughters, mine is giving me hell right now. She comes around occasionally and can be a wonderful kid, but so far it's a struggle.

Believe it or not, your kids are smarter than you think; I truly belive that mine know what I'm trying to do, they just need to test the limits of authority every now and again, I don't hold that against them.

In the long run, I'm sure our kids appreciate and understand what we were trying to do for them, even though it's a little choppy at times.

[bigshug]

Morgan, I here you bro....the lack of a relationship I've had with my father is precisely why I try to be such a good dad to my kids. I don't really know what a good father is, but I'm trying my best to be there for them in as many ways as I can. I want to be the one to put band-aids on scraped knees and I want to be the one they run to when they have problems in their lives. I don't think it's about being perfect...it's just about being there. Shit man, my dad's mind is so fucked up now that he can't even understand conversations. It's like his world is totally detached from ours......

[bigshug]

Originally posted by BigSoda
Bigshug-sorry to hear that bro

Hey, thanks for the concern man.....luckily my mom remarried a kick ass guy who has pretty much filled the father role in to a "T".....he was my best man at my wedding and I wouldn't have had it any other way. I don't think my dad was so bad initially - OK, so maybe he was - but what really pushed him over the edge was his alcohol addiction......take heed folks, the habits you form now will shape the rest of your lives

[Morgan]

Originally posted by bigshug
Morgan, I here you bro....the lack of a relationship I've had with my father is precisely why I try to be such a good dad to my kids. I don't really know what a good father is, but I'm trying my best to be there for them in as many ways as I can. I want to be the one to put band-aids on scraped knees and I want to be the one they run to when they have problems in their lives. I don't think it's about being perfect...it's just about being there. Shit man, my dad's mind is so fucked up now that he can't even understand conversations. It's like his world is totally detached from ours......

bigshrug-my mom's a lot like your dad with respect to the alcohol, it's hard to deal with at times, but she's still my mom, and as much as it upsets me, I try real hard not to turn away from her.

Sorry for you on this, it can be real tough.

That you are trying your best is all your kids can expect, don't worry, they know you're there for them and that's a lot of what being a parent is about.

[Plucks]

For me my dad was a hard ass untill my mom bailed on us then he really went relaxed on my bro but was still hard on me. Now he says he knew i could deal with it. Hell know i am 28 we both go out drinking together get into a couple of fights together as well, its real cool. But growing up its sucked and yeah coming from a hispanic family thats kinda normal i guess. Just enjoy the little things and make sure that when you have kids that you are diffrent than he was to you.